tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19053670.post2466538339716872864..comments2023-10-31T05:03:38.910-07:00Comments on Letters from a broad...: Free to be a homemaker...C. L. Hansonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12698855413639518095noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19053670.post-35291960092392698692011-04-17T06:36:17.294-07:002011-04-17T06:36:17.294-07:00I agree that everyone has to do some housework jus...I agree that everyone has to do some housework just to live in a civilized society. Whether or not it's laundry or scrubbing toliets. The "nobody likes it" argument is interesting. <br /><br />Over the years I've found that people disagree about "how clean is clean" or what should be clean. For example, my idea of how clean my car should be is very different from some friends of mine. Who's right?<br /><br />For people living on their own, there's one standard. <br /><br />I do like the idea that cleanliness of one's home is not a "women's responsibility" but everyone's responsibility. Also, that if you don't like how clean something is, you could clean it yourself. Sadly, I'm not sure all people agree with these philosophies, even now.Aerinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11142518259771067132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19053670.post-23914089449669582032011-04-15T18:37:26.653-07:002011-04-15T18:37:26.653-07:00FWIW I as born and raised in Seattle before going ...FWIW I as born and raised in Seattle before going to BYU.<br /><br />I figure feminism is a lot like computers—I know, I know, but bear with me—adults old enough to not touch a computer until their middle age are generally hesitant around them, if not out-and-out afraid. People who grew up with them have no fear of accidentally breaking them, because computers are a common part of their environment.<br /><br />As people (boys and girls) who see women working alongside men as the equals grow up, they didn't have the same attitudes. Society shifted, but some occupations (like homemaker) still have a bit of stigma associated with them.Goldarnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01002035439360220264noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19053670.post-32705070512991077712011-04-14T22:11:22.779-07:002011-04-14T22:11:22.779-07:00Excellent points, all!!
So it looks like the prob...Excellent points, all!!<br /><br />So it looks like the problem is the focus on <i>this one task is bad, period</i>, when it would be better to fight gendered assumptions about who has to do what. Kids should be encouraged to try out all different possibilities, and partners should negotiate their division of labor according to their interests and abilities.<br /><br />As far as this album is concerned, it was a part of the message of the time that that women and men could both do anything <i>[which both Goldarn and I remember from childhood -- when were you born, if you don't mind me asking?]</i>. It's my impression that our more nuanced view of this issue comes from the thirty or forty years of experience with what happens when a generation of kids are raised to <i>expect</i> that your future shouldn't be determined by your gender.C. L. Hansonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12698855413639518095noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19053670.post-71798733998791012572011-04-14T19:05:06.370-07:002011-04-14T19:05:06.370-07:00As a modern man I have risen to the point where I ...As a modern man I have risen to the point where I will now put my dishes in the sink rather than simply leaving them on the table for my wife to clean up. Sister Paternoster very much appreciates this.Stake Pres.https://www.blogger.com/profile/16681281146162453967noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19053670.post-57145652136387867962011-04-14T11:50:27.895-07:002011-04-14T11:50:27.895-07:00I don't think you're being oversensitive, ...I don't think you're being oversensitive, I just don't think it's demeaning to SAHM's. I think it's a <i>little</i> bit demeaning to people of both sexes, whether they work or stay at home, who happen to like housework.<br /><br />When I can get the motivation to really clean the apartment, I love doing it. I love getting to work and leaving my home looking and smelling and feeling clean. And I'm neither stay-at-home nor a mom. I just happen to have a vagina.Carla Schmidt Hollowayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12947846629735463824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19053670.post-68465048132690522132011-04-14T11:08:50.360-07:002011-04-14T11:08:50.360-07:00From a traditionalist standpoint (read: pre-femini...From a traditionalist standpoint (read: pre-feminist) men didn't always like their jobs. A lot of them hated them. So, why should women like housework?<br /><br />I'm a man. I find some housework unobjectionable, and I don't like doing other housework. My wife seems to agree (it's too bad we overlap so much in the dislike part!). I also don't always like my daily paid job, although I certainly find parts unobjectionable and even fulfilling. I didn't like housework when I lived by myself, so why should a woman? We all have to do our part to keep entropy at bay and stop our house from composting. :-)<br /><br />As an aside on the subject of traditional vs modern: My HS chem teacher used to bemoan how few teenage girls he had in his classes. He'd say that from a sexist standpoint chemistry was just like cooking, so why shouldn't girls want to take chemistry? Sexist attitudes don't always make sense. That's what I noticed at an early age, because I was raised with the idea that women and men could both do anything.Goldarnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01002035439360220264noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19053670.post-44977800953074146492011-04-14T10:49:43.596-07:002011-04-14T10:49:43.596-07:00I agree with Leah. The problem stems from the fals...I agree with Leah. The problem stems from the false belief that women were placed on this planet to make men's lives more enjoyable and to service their various needs.<br /><br />I've heard horror stories from women who end up working full time because they have to carry at least a portion (if not all) of the financial load. Then they are expected to keep up on laundry, kid-stuff, cleaning, and cooking. What a drag that would be.<br /><br />I believe any such relationship should operate very much like a business partnership. Each brings different strengths and talents, etc. Both are required to pull their own weight. End of story. Otherwise it's time to go solo or to find a new partner.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19053670.post-42170204642660720742011-04-14T09:47:16.718-07:002011-04-14T09:47:16.718-07:00Hey Leah!!!
Exactly -- it's about choice, whi...Hey Leah!!!<br /><br />Exactly -- it's about choice, which is why this particular line jumped out at me. I find many housework tasks Zen, too, but I doubt I'd feel that way if I didn't have other, more interesting tasks to procrastinate. But that's just me. OTOH, some homemakers might agree that housework is no fun, but might appreciate being a SAHM for other reasons.<br /><br />Re: "his job vs. her job." -- there's another option: change your ideas on what really <i>needs</i> to get done. That was my solution when I had a too-large house filled with too-small kids (see <a href="http://lfab-uvm.blogspot.com/2008/03/back-among-tv-watching-hordes.html" rel="nofollow">here</a> for evidence).C. L. Hansonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12698855413639518095noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19053670.post-58012734795294499772011-04-14T08:24:41.962-07:002011-04-14T08:24:41.962-07:00Well, I think like most of what the feminist movem...Well, I think like most of what the feminist movement tries to accomplish, it's about <i>choice</i>. Currently reading an interesting book on archetypes which asserts that some women (and men) do find housework to be a meaningful activity, just as there are some women for whom the Mormon gender roles fit and they find true fulfillment in that role. <br /><br />I personally find housework to be drudgery, but have a (male) friend who said to me, "Housework is like Tibetan sand painting." I've been trying to keep that in mind and be little more "Zen" about the housekeeping: Just accept that it won't last and find joy in the process. Some days this works better than others. <br /><br />Currently being the sole head of household, it's not about "his job vs. her job." It just has to be done. If and when I come to a time in my life when household headship is again shared, you can be certain that housework will be too!Leahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08129509609170344883noreply@blogger.com