tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19053670.post8088770323043925293..comments2023-10-31T05:03:38.910-07:00Comments on Letters from a broad...: Is it really better to have loved and lost?C. L. Hansonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12698855413639518095noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19053670.post-45300160599808315102008-11-20T22:14:00.000-08:002008-11-20T22:14:00.000-08:00Thanks for the great discussion, everyone!!!TooMan...Thanks for the great discussion, everyone!!!<BR/><BR/>TooManyTribbles -- That is so true about practice and learning not to expect a soul-mate. I think that's one reason why young love is so forceful and bittersweet -- one doesn't have the relationship experiences that tempers it.<BR/><BR/>Paul -- That's kind of the question I was getting at: Has unrequited love enriched my life, even though in some ways it seems nothing good ever came of it? I can't decide. Some days I think yes, some days I think no.<BR/><BR/>Aerin -- That's interesting, I'd never thought of it that way. I'd always assumed it was "lost" as in "you lost the game of love, struck out." But I might easily be the one who's misinterpreting it...<BR/><BR/>Wry -- exactly!!<BR/><BR/>INTJ Mom -- Very true, and in that sense it can be a positive learning experiences. But does that balance out the negative? maybe...<BR/><BR/>Jane -- Yes, that's what I'm talking about. It's crazy how even years later, even after moving on, the memoires can still be a bit of a tender spot.<BR/><BR/>Lynet -- That's an interesting way of looking at it, in terms of saying it's worth taking the risk since you might succeed. I always thought it meant that -- even if you lost -- it's better to have felt that passion than to have felt nothing. Not a very Buddhist sentiment, I wager, but sometimes I believe it!! (Of course, I'm not a Buddhist...)C. L. Hansonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12698855413639518095noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19053670.post-67091630625421620682008-11-20T20:24:00.000-08:002008-11-20T20:24:00.000-08:00The statement about "it's better to have loved and...The statement about "it's better to have loved and lost" can be one about taking risks -- allowing yourself to love someone even though you might lose them. If the person in question currently loves you back, then it can be a liberating statement.<BR/><BR/>With regard to <I>unrequited</I> love (not just a love that you might lose at some later point), well, I guess that's different. I wouldn't choose unrequited love (usually), but, heck, if you're stuck with it, try to enjoy it while you can, say I.Lynethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06357023675142716573noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19053670.post-81833428502516379722008-11-20T18:17:00.000-08:002008-11-20T18:17:00.000-08:00Good topic. Wow, I remember my first unrequited l...Good topic. Wow, I remember my first unrequited love. What a wrenching heartbreak that was. I held on to hope that she would change her mind for a couple years (even though realistically I had moved on to other relationships)... I always sort of thought she would change her mind at some point when she realized what she had lost. Lol. Not so much.Jane Knowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13737513919725679578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19053670.post-61609737068667561452008-11-20T16:14:00.000-08:002008-11-20T16:14:00.000-08:00I think it can have at least some positive outcome...I think it can have at least some positive outcome is you let the experience teach you empathy for others - a friend, a child, a person who's felt that way toward you at some point.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19053670.post-3328747569586796422008-11-20T12:22:00.000-08:002008-11-20T12:22:00.000-08:00Yes. But damn, it hurts a lot sometimes. And a s...Yes. <BR/><BR/>But damn, it hurts a lot sometimes. And a song can take you right back when you least expect it.<BR/><BR/>Nice post. :-)<BR/><BR/>- wryAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19053670.post-39731059879997626302008-11-20T09:04:00.000-08:002008-11-20T09:04:00.000-08:00I might have been missing the point for all these ...I might have been missing the point for all these years, but I always thought that it was also talking about really losing someone (i.e., in death). That it was better to have "gone out on a limb", known that person and loved them before they passed on - than not to have gotten to know them. <BR/><BR/>I definitely think you learn a lot about yourself in these moments - in reflections and relationships. Because at times it would be much easier not to put yourself on a limb - to stay with safe friendships/relationships.Aerinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11142518259771067132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19053670.post-4100396964883136882008-11-20T04:48:00.000-08:002008-11-20T04:48:00.000-08:00Some of the best loves of my life have been unrequ...Some of the best loves of my life have been unrequited, Chanson. They've taught me the most about others, myself, the nature of love, and the necessity of affirming both the beauty and the tragedy of life. I think I would only have a fraction of the happiness I have today if I had somehow avoided those unrequited loves. <BR/><BR/>Perhaps significantly, though, the loves I refer to have been unrequited for reasons other than rejection. Moving away, wrong timing, etc. were the reasons. The single "intense" love that was unrequited because of rejection taught me very little that's positive. So, I guess I have had a kind of mixed bag with unrequited love.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19053670.post-35999140246382285372008-11-20T04:28:00.000-08:002008-11-20T04:28:00.000-08:00rejection is like lots of things -- the more you p...rejection is like lots of things -- the more you practice, the easier it gets.<BR/><BR/>it also helps to understand that there is no such thing as a soulmate. there are lots and lots of people to love, pretty much everywhere, and some of them are even... compatible!<BR/><BR/>this kind of thing hasn't bothered me for a long, long time. i've learned to look forward.helensotiriadishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07740816003291428890noreply@blogger.com