I had to pick up my little Nicolas from school early the other day, and when I went out to the playground to get him, I found him playing with a little girl. There's nothing unusual about that, although they seemed to be playing an odd game: the girl was standing on a platform, and Nico was crawling around on the ground at her feet. So I asked Nico what they were playing.
Nico replied: "We're playing shark. I'm the shark, and if she falls in the water, I'm going to eat her."
Then I asked the girl what they were playing, and she replied (in French): "Nico's my boyfriend and we're going to get married."
Thus we see the Mars-and-Venus relationship model in its most rudimentary form. ;-)
I was kind of surprised by it, though. Sure I remember picking boys to be my boyfriend when I was in Kindergarten and earlier (the girl is probably four or five years old). But since leaving the church, I'd always thought that was some sort of weirdo Mormon thing to encourage little girls from the cradle to start looking at little boys as potential husbands.
Maybe it is a weirdo Mormon thing, but not exclusively a Mormon thing...? Opinions?
The Adventures of a Friendly French-American ExMormon Atheist Mom Living in Switzerland!!!
12 comments:
It probably would not help, but I had someone I was going to marry in the temple (when we were older). I was 5. His name was Rusty.
I don't really remember him - but I definitely remember telling my parents/other adults that I wanted to marry him in the temple when we were older. At 5.
Also - I don't think it's a mormon thing. I remember attending playground "marriages" from 1st to 3rd grade in elementary school in my diverse Chicago suburb.
Hey Aerin!!!
I had chosen little boys from the ward to be my boyfriend even before I was in kindergarten -- which is maybe why I was thinking this was a Mormon thing -- but I guess it's probably a typical thing for little kids to be interested in...
Nico replied: "We're playing shark. I'm the shark, and if she falls in the water, I'm going to eat her."
Then I asked the girl what they were playing, and she replied (in French): "Nico's my boyfriend and we're going to get married."
LOL.
I distinctly remember agreeing to marry a girl in kindergarten. I don't think it's just mormons.
I never thought about temple marriage until it was pounded into my head later. In kindergarten, I just "liked" boys because they were cute and in my ward! But yes, as I got older, the temple marriage thing loomed constantly; I was more worried about anyone wanting me, since my parents were worried I would never catch a 'good man'. I was so irrepressible, you see, and had opinions. Mormon men didn't like that.
I remember having a crush on a boy when I was about 3 ("he looks just like a little baby man!"), but I don't think marriage ever came up. (That same boy was considered a teen heartthrob in high school, but I was done with him by that time.) I wasn't a Mormon, but a Methodist, and never a very good one at that.
My older son had a girlfriend in kindergarten. They gave each other love notes, and were very close. Unfortunately, she had to move out of state at the end of the school year, and he hasn't fallen in love again since. He has brought home a couple of love notes from girls, and has several friends who are girls, but there's no romance now. I sense that he's a sensitive, artistic type. ;)
Thanks J.A.!!!
Hey JulieAnn!!!
I got a lot of similar pressure about snagging a man to take to the temple, and the dreadful worry of what if I failed to get one. It's weird, but since marriage and motherhood is so central to a woman's role and status in Mormonism, it gives girls this (IMHO unhealthy) fixation on romance. I think that's why I was thinking this whole "kindergarten marriage" thing was Mormon-like, even though apparently it's more common than that...
Hey Kristi!!!
Another vote for "not just a Mormon thing." ;-) Your son sounds like a cutie!!! :D
My best friend when I was little (age four to about ten) happened to be a boy, and we had wedding plans. We were going to get married at Excalibur in Vegas, because then we could have swords (or something - it's all a little hazy now).
He was Jewish, and I was raised in an atheist/agnostic household. So I don't think it's a Mormon thing. ;-)
Hey R!!!
Yeah, I'm starting to think it was very, very silly of me to think it was just a Mormon thing... ;-)
LOL Your son sounds adorable! Mine does the same thing. He's just now starting to think girls are a sort of "gross".
A few months ago, I had a mother from school call me to ask if her daughter could join us at karate practice; turns out, my son had been giving some of the girls karate lessons during recess! I invited the little girl to come with us and my son says, "Why'd you invite her? She's annoying!" So I said, "Well maybe you should re-think giving her lessons at recess... now she wants to come to karate with you!"
I love kid stories... thanks for making me smile.
~Caryn
Thanks Caryn!!!
My Nico hasn't quite gotten to the point yet where he thinks girls are gross. He plays with boys more than he plays with girls, but he plays with girls a lot too.
you should submit this to a scientific journal; perhaps the one about parapsychology.
Hey Guy Noir!!!
Parapsychology?? I don't get it...
Post a Comment