Thursday, April 13, 2006

Today's navel-gazing: search queries!

Blogging is an inherently self-referential activity isn't it?

In the spirit of self-referentiality, I'd like to share with you today the many amusing search queries that have led people to this blog!

I'll call the first category "Right on the money!" These are the ones whose searches led them to exactly the right place:

French husband bilingual children Exactly!
french superstitions dog poop Now how many people have bloogged about French superstitions regarding dog poop as I did here? Not many, I'll wager!!
spirituality and sexuality yep, right here
why i hate church explained here
"Student Review" BYU see above
truth or dare I've posted a story on that here
exmormon story Perfect!!! Everyone should be looking for my story!!!
exmormon moms Yep, that's me!!!
sexy mom also me!!!
wacky parenting theories Whose parenting theories are wackier than mine?
"life and france" yep

Here are the queries of bunch of people came here looking for stuff about Mormons or exmormons. Yep, I definitely talk about Mormonism and exmormonism here!
exmo blog
exmormon blogspot
cultural mormon
latter day saints
lds doctrine

Others came looking for erotica:
intimate love
sex stories

But my favorites are the ones who were specifically looking for stuff about Mormons having sex. Like at BYU for example. Now who else but me blogs so entertainingly about that?
mormon sexuality
"having sex" byu
lds sex

Then there are those specifically looking for me, alone or in connection with other blogs:
letters from a broad
C.L. Hanson
C.L.Hanson ex-Mormon blog
"from a broad" c l hanson
C.L. Hansen Mormon
"Feminist Mormon Housewives" "C. L. Hanson"
c l hansen journalist
cl hansen globalize this Even misspelling my made-up name, they find this place!!! Go Google!!!

Here's the "Okay, more or less" category. My blog might contain some of what these people were looking for:

Uses of the word like That was covered some in my grammar police post
"Joni Hilton" womans day I wrote about her books here, but if she did an article for Woman's Day, I don't know about it...
Apostolic United Bretheren I mentioned these guys as a background source for part of my novel, but I intentionally avoided fingering a specific group in my fictional story as explained in this disclaimer. And one point of this disclaimer I'd like to emphasize is that my little fictional story is harmless. Not worth hunting me down over. Indeed that would only give the story more publicity, so please polygamist guys, don't do it!! Thanks in advance!!! :D
Game Theory and mating strategies Well my primatologist looks at the Mathematical community post may give insight into the mating strategies of game theorists, but that's probably not what this person was looking for...
"merde alors" means I wrote a post entitled merde alors, but I never explained what it means!! Sorry!!
Saturday's warrior Humble missionary There's a segment in my novel about Saturday's Warrior, including characters playing all of the different roles, but that's probably not what this person was hoping for...
"motley vision" Entertaining blog. I talk about them sometimes (like here and here). You can find them directly here.
letters from liaisons dangereuse I wrote about that novel here, but didn't quote any of the letters extensively.
mormon mission bolivia Close... Actually, I was saying that Bolivia is where I was hoping my son would not be serving a Mormon mission in my discussion here...
Feminist Mormon Yeah, if you define "Mormon" very loosely...
cake decorating I talked about a novel that mentions cake decorating here, but I don't know much about it myself. On the other hand, if you're looking for erotic cakes, then you want JLO's blog here.

Here we have one person that arrived on these four search queries in a row:
hate exmo-social
exmo-social bat
left exmo-social
exmo social
Okay, I'm a regular on exmo-social, but I haven't blogged about anyone hating or leaving it, and I don't have any dirt on bat. Sorry!

This last group is a category I like to call "Bzzt! Wrong!" for people who sadly came to the wrong blog. Some stayed to look around anyway though. The fact that this category is so much smaller than the others is I suppose a tribute to the effectiveness of modern search algorithms!!!

C.L. Lewis Mormon Maybe you meant C.S. Lewis? Just a guess...
Nick Hanson stands for No idea who that is...
free sex letters Looking for letters that will get you free sex? Interesting idea, but my blog won't help you...
examples support relationship letters I don't know what this means, but I don't think I have any...
William Faulkner Theme of Rigidity My cousin mentioned Faulkner in passing here, but I'm pretty sure she didn't cover any "theme of rigidity"...
LETTERS OF APOLOGIES Me? apologize? Hahahahahahaha!!!


Joseph's Left One said...

That's too funny. I get fun stuff, too. My favorites:

jlo porn
nubile sex
Gordon B Hinckley
BYU sex (I get that, too)

C. L. Hanson said...

That's so funny!!! Did you even post anything about sex at BYU?

By the way, have you gotten any searches looking for erotic cakes yet?

Hehehehe!!! ;^)

Cyn Bagley said...

oh, oh... I have a sex story about BYU and it uses tennis rackets. LOL
AND it is true.

But I am not going to post it here. I think I will have to take it to my grave. Hahahahahahaha

C. L. Hanson said...

Hey, no fair torturing us like that!!!

At least post the story on your own blog and provide a link to it or something!!! :D

Anonymous said...

Well, with this post you're bound to really throw Google into a tizzy...

I'm one who searched for "feminist mormon housewives c.l. hanson" as I was looking for the guest post you did there...but never found it. I came back to your site hoping to find a reference to it.

Thanks for pointing me to it in your comment on Equality Time. The reason I couldn't find it...well, because they only refer to you as "Carol" in the post.

As an off topic (for this thread) response to your post over at FMH:

I can't tell you how many times, when I've raised some issue about Mormonism that I find questionable, that the response has been: "It's not just a Mormon thing...other religions do it too." Which is about the lamest response I've ever heard. I mean, to justify the so-called true church by arguing that others believe/do these things too. Weird.

Here's to the google god's power to help sex fiends find other things to think about...lest they get bored.

Cyn Bagley said...

OK.. I think this happened in 1981 or 1982.. It was one semester from my first time at BYU.. and the administration really hushed this one up...

Two girls in the dormitories sold sex in their room. They would put two tennis rackets in the window so that their customers (mostly RMs) would know if they were in for business. If the rackets were open (they were open), if the rackets were crossed (then they were closed for business).

The girls ran this ring for almost 2 years I think. I wish I could remember their names. Anyway they paid for school tuition, dorm fees, and books by running this things. LOL

Oh... yea and when they were found out.. they were thrown out of the school.

AND this is my whole sex BYU story.

Cyn Bagley said...

Oh... and we had so many tennis racket jokes that year. LOL

Cyn Bagley said...

I think the customers were not thrown out... ummm... it was during my hypnotized days of mormon purity. LOL

C. L. Hanson said...

Wow!! Did you know the girls involved?

I've heard this story before, but I wasn't sure if it was just some sort of urban legend or something!!!

I actually mentioned the BYU-tennis-racket-prostitution-ring story in my novel, but said the characters weren't sure if it really happened or not... (just like me!!! lol)

Interesting to hear evidence that maybe it was real...

C. L. Hanson said...

Hey Watt!!!

Actually, I noticed that search query appeared right after I mentioned the guest post in my comment on equality time, which is why I went back and posted the link... ;-)

It's true they just referred to me as "carol", and when I reposted it to my blog, I just mentioned it was a guest post on "fMh", which makes it a bit tricky for Google to find...

Cyn Bagley said...

I did not know these girls... What I do know is that the whole school had to go to a special assembly (it was several sessions). We were told what happened and we were told that we were not allowed to talk about it.

What freaks me out is that they are now calling this story a legend... if that is so.. then why all the assemblies???

Cyn Bagley said...

At the same time, there were several rapes on campus. I know this because I knew a couple of the guys who acted as security on campus. They were always telling us to be careful. I think it was about two to three rapes a month. They never caught the guy or guys.

Also... one of school mates.. his brother was shot in the head, while taking money to a bank deposit. It was a very bad year.

Joseph's Left One said...

I was at BYU during the rape episodes (when the emergency phones went up), but I don't remember anything about the tennis racquet story.

Of course, at that time I wouldn't have imagined that anyone at BYU was having sex.

I led a sheltered existence.

C. L. Hanson said...

I missed all the excitement by just a few years!!!

Joseph's Left One said...

Oh, and no, I did not write about sex at BYU. The only sex I had at BYU was with my wife after I got married.

You have no idea just how "good" a Mormon boy I was back then. Still am, in some ways. LOL

Cyn Bagley said...

Well.. I would never heard of the tennis racquet story if I had not gone to the assembly... I was shocked... shocked... LOL

The rape hotlines... I remember those too. I used to clean buildings on campus, so I would walk there at three o'clock a.m. Kinda scary... I would be finished by 7 to 7:30 a.m.

Gunner said...

Since I use my name on my blog a lot of people end up there looking for Gunner Nelson. I also found that link roundups like this lead to more of the strange results.

C. L. Hanson said...

LOL, good point!!! I'm probably directing more wrong queries here by posting a list of wrong queries... ;-)

oh, well...

Christopher Bigelow said...

So how do you find out how people get to your blog, anyway?

C. L. Hanson said...

Hey C. B.!!!

If you're wondering, I found your blog through your comment on JLO's blog ;-)

In general what you do is you sign up for one of the free blogstats services. (I've been using, but you can figure out which ones other people are using by clicking on the sitemeter logo at the bottom of the blog page.)

A good service gives you a complete log including the referring pages and the pages on your blog that got loaded from them.