Tuesday, July 25, 2006

I'm not fabulous...

That's one of the things I noticed while I was reading Tom Clark's Gay Mormon Stories over the weekend.

I know I just highlighted Gay Mormon Stories a couple of weeks ago, and here I am linking to them again. Well, what happened was that I'd written in my earlier post that the site was "required reading for anyone who wants to understand the experiences of growing up gay and Mormon."

Then I said to myself, "Maybe I should go read the stories on the site before I say that." I know Tom's writing well enough to trust him on this, but I figured there's no harm in going over to the site and reading a few more of them. I was not disappointed, and I stand by my original statement. :D

I especially loved the part in Connell's story where he just throws together a dessert at the last minute -- and it's a custard baked into a pumpkin shell, tastefully accessorized on a silver platter with colorful Autumn leaves -- and he accidentally wins first prize in the ward Thanksgiving dessert contest, much to the wrath of the ladies who didn't win. Oops. LOL, a classic move!!! :D

There's no danger of anything like that ever happening to me. In Connell's story I probably would have been the one who won one of the non-challenging awards like "most colorful jello salad" or even more likely "most creative use of buying something from the local bakery"...

I don't really have a flair for fashion and design. I hate it when I get one of those haircuts that has a lot of potential (i.e. looks stunning if you spend an hour on it in the morning, looks like crap if you don't). Back when I was in Young Women's we'd occasionally have activity nights where we learned various hair and make-up techniques, and I'd set goals to try to start up a regular beauty routine, but it never took. I'm just a wash-n-go kind of gal.

Every now and then I wonder if it might be interesing to have a natural sense of style. But I don't feel bad about not being fabulous because hey, I'm not gay, so it's not expected. And my husband doesn't care -- he's straight too, so he doesn't know the difference.

Then I remember that there are many straight women who are fabulous. It isn't just a gay guy thing.

For example, there's my glamorous Mormon diva sister. Also there's Montchan.

I was just reading on Montchan's blog here about how she likes to come to France during shopping season and go home fabulously decked in French fashion. That made me think "Jeez, here I am in France, in the middle of a big sale season... I need to get off my butt and go shopping!!!" (Okay, it's not Paris here, it's just Bordeaux, but still...)

Normally I think one of the advantages to living in Southern Europe is that you can wear "resort wear" all summer long. By that I mean it's socially acceptable to go around wearing a sundress that is really just a glorified colorful rag which will set you back about five bucks and which may or may not be flattering, depending entirely on luck.

But I figured I should at least try to make a brave effort to hit the sales. Believe me, I cut a stylin' figure out shopping in a baggy t-shirt covered with pictures of fish, unmatched Priceton athletic shorts, and a wide-brimmed straw hat that has been crushed by too much wear serving as a "Fraulein Maria" costume.

And what I bought myself was equally stylin': the plad skirt that I was modeling Sunday morning.

Now I can just see Montchan shaking her head and saying "God, no! Let is not be so!"


But maybe next time she or one of my other fabulous friends can come along and give me some pointers... :D


Rebecca said...

Maybe you and I should take a class on fabulosity together. Because I actually think that plaid skirt is kind of cute. Plus, my idea of a big shopping spree is books at Borders or DVDs from Amazon.com.

Sideon said...

Let me say for the record: not all gay men are fabulous.

Some of us were cursed, like myself, with a borrowed fashion sense, if at all. I don't design or do colors well - furniture should be chosen based on comfort! I don't cook well, nor do I care about presentation and meal coordination - Martha Stewart would run screaming from our dinners. There's nothing about me, aside from a disarmingly wicked smile that screams "fabulous." Nothing, darling. Absolutely nothing.

Becca - I love that word "fabulosity."

Realize, immediately after I post this the secret gay police force WILL come to my home and confiscate my gay card. You don't want to know what I'll have to do to get that card back...

Cyn Bagley said...


Don... I can just imagine.

And being of the fabulous gender... I have no fashion sense either. LOL

C. L. Hanson said...

Hey Rebecca!!!

That would be great!!! You and I and my husband thought the skirt was cute, so either it is or we all need that class on fabulosity.

Hey Sideon!!!

I know you're just trying to make us feel better!!! ;-)

Hey Cynthia!!!

If you're not just trying to make us feel better like Sideon, you can join us at fabulosity school. ;-)

m said...

Babe, my older brother is as gay as a cucumber, so fabulousness is genetic in our family. well, not really. But I am planning to hit the January sales next year!

Wanna do it together?

PS. My dear super patient man will be in Lille tomorrow, and he has a mile long shopping list from me. Fortunately, he doesn't embarrass easily!

C. L. Hanson said...

Dangit, my older brother is gay too, but somehow that didn't help me...

Of course even though my brother is relatively stylish, he really doesn't fit the "fabulous gay guy" stereotype that I'm promoting here... ;^)

January? I don't currently have any plans to be in Paris at that time but it's probably doable... :D

Sideon said...

Fabulosity and flobies, two words that have wrenched my morning apart and made me smile like a bubble-headed bleach blonde.

I have a new favorite phrase, thanks to Montchan: "gay as a cucumber." Who knew?

All is well in the world this morning. What a great way to start the work day!

Hugs and Love :)

C. L. Hanson said...

Sideon, how could you not already know how gay cucumbers are? lol

Hey JLO, you're too sweet!!!

Actually we have a similar situation in my house -- my husband is a better cook than I am, and consequently does all the cooking.

m said...

ah, we can do it in your town, I like to explore new and exciting locales anyway. Just recommed a few places to stay and I will see what fits my budget (most of which is dedicated to shoes and clothes and make up). Last January I did great in Clermont-Ferrand, which I suppose because it was pretty remote had better sale selections than Paree!

And yes, cucumbers are DEFINITELY gay!

Sideon said...


My third favorite word of the day.

And I agree with Connell - cucumbers are bland. Other than the name itself (and shape), there's nothing too memorable about them.

m said...

ah it's because you never had MY cucumber salad!!!

Sideon said...

Montchan... when can I expect you for dinner? :)

C. L. Hanson said...

Hey Connell!!!

Nice to see you here in blogspace!!! :D

Hey Montchan!!!

Well, if you're willing to come to all the way to France to shop in Clermont-Ferrand, then maybe Bordeaux won't be too much of a backwater for you after all... :D

Cyn Bagley said...

I have to admit.. I love French and Italian cooking. I can smell those bread-scented streets as I sit typing on the computer.. and yumm.

AND no I am not trying to make you feel better... LOL My friends a few years ago had to drag me to the store to buy clothes. I was spending most of my time in jeans and t-shirts.

m said...

It's the film festival in CF that is the big draw for me. I had a film there last January. :-)

and there is some cheapo airline that flies directly from Stockholm to your neck of the woods. And isn't it famous for wine???? That would go great with the gay cucumber salad!


PS. Sideon, I am an excellent cook (doing my impression of Rain Man here.)

C. L. Hanson said...

You've had a film in a film festival? How cool!!! I've got to go back and read your blog more closely.

Is Bordeaux famous for wine? Is that supposed to be some sort of trick question? ;-)

That would be great if you would come here and join the tiny list of exmo Internauts I've met in person!!! :D

Kalv1n said...

Hey, I'm not fabulous at all. Hooray for gay cubs. You've made me want to investigate the site more. I think it's interesting how so many mormon men are gay. Too bad so many of them can't get over the being mormon part. Le sigh. And apparently I'm not fabulous although I've never made a specific post about being gay and mormon, only about my crush in the mtc.

Gunner said...

I linked to this post in this weeks Carnival of the Veil.

C. L. Hanson said...

Hey Kalvin!!!

It's not too late -- you too can submit a story to "Gay Mormon Stories" if you want to.

It's true that not all gay guys are fabulous. I don't believe Sideon for one second though. ;-)

Hi Gunner, thanks!!!

The Sinister Porpoise said...

Not being gay, I wonder where I'd fall into this...

Most of my clothing has been chosing for comfort.

C. L. Hanson said...

Hey Sinister Porpoise!!!

You don't have to be gay to be fabulous or fabulous to be gay -- it's just a rule of thumb. ;^)

Anonymous said...

I have moments of fabulosity, but I was raised out in the country, so I'm kinda like a movie critic: I know fabulosity when I see it and can explain why it does or doesn't work (and can hurl a catty comment when necessary to bring the deluded who think they are fabulous but aren't down to size...although I usually only do this in private or on my blog).

But I'm pretty bland. Luckily from time to time fabulous gay boys like me and take me under their wings and allow me to basque in their fabulosity.

P.S. How do I become an ex-pat? I can't believe how unbelievably bad I miss Europe (I should say France), and I haven't lived there since I was a missionary. I think when the book is out, I may actually look for positions in Europe (which will actually be difficult).

P.P.S. There's nothing wrong with living in the South of France. I would move back to Marseille, Nice or Aix-en-Provence in a heart beat.

C. L. Hanson said...

Hey Todd!!!

Of course it's a lot easier if you happen to be married to someone from the country in question. I know that's a terrible thing for me to say considering, and I've talked a bit about this problem on Hello Waffles here.

Even so, in academia there's always the possibility of getting a job in another country, especially if researchers there are interested in your work.

I was just in Marseille two days ago on business, and found it pretty fun. But Marseille is a little too spread out and car-oriented (like an American city) for my tastes. I like Aix-en-Provence better. I've never been to Nice.

And as everybody knows, I'm partial to Bordeaux... ;^)

TRiG said...

My housemates love the fact that they live with a gay guy who has less fashion sense than any of them.


C. L. Hanson said...

Hey TRiG!!!

It's such fun to defy the stereotypes!!! :D