Saturday, September 15, 2007

Why I'm a bad mom, part 3

Continued from parts 1 & 2.

Ok, this time I have no excuses, and I'm not trying to be ironic.

The thing is that little kids need to understand that there are some things they're not allowed to do, and "reasoning with them" doesn't always work. Sometimes you have no choice but to discipline them.

But what to do?

Spanking is bad, and a "time-out" doesn't work at our house because -- in all sincerity -- I'm afraid that if the kids pull at these hundred-year-old door handles too much they'll break, and we'll end up with a terrified kid waiting hours to be freed by a locksmith.

So the bad mom non-painful punishment I've hit on is to give the offender a "wedgie".

The advantage of the "wedgie" as punishment is that is distracts the kids from whatever naughty thing they're doing and gets them to cut it out, because the wedgie itself is entertaining -- really, it's hilarious!!! In fact, just threatening the wedgie generally leaves the offender rolling on the ground laughing (having forgotten about climbing up the bookshelf or screaming to have the scissors or something).

The disadvantage is that there's a risk that my kids will end up being the bad kids that think it's funny to give other kids wedgies at school.

Well, all I can say in my defense is that at least I haven't taken to giving them swirlies....


Unknown said...

I think it's pretty funny that Wikipedia has an entry on wedgies. I'm not surprised, but I still think that it's funny.

Anyway, my friends actually use spanking (or "spankin's") with their kids the same way you describe wedgies. They do it in a completely benign and harmless way so that it's just a distraction from the naughty activity.

I've never heard of their kids trying to spank other kids at school, though. :-)

(My word verification code today is "peuiurqs." I think that deserves a definition.)

C. L. Hanson said...

Hey John!!!

Well, you know, Wikipedia's there to provide you with information on all sorts of important topics... ;^)

Anonymous said...

Yeah, Wikipedia is awesome! Without it I would've never finished my dissertation! ;-)

Speaking of kidlins, I prevented any problems by not having any of them rugrats in the first place. It's all about ME! lol No really I love kids... as long as they're somebody elses! Have fun with them, spoil them and then when they get cranky, give 'em back to mom and pop!

C. L. Hanson said...

Hey anonymous!!!

Yeah, Wikipedia is fabulous!!!

I was just reading a story last night about someone finishing her dissertation who had to make an emergency run to a bookstore to get a quote she needed. Ha, those poor, pathetic slobs of the late '90's with their arcane methods!!! ;^)

hm-uk said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
hm-uk said...

The thing with discipline by wedgie is that there is no power struggle, is there? I mean, at some stage your kids could turn around and give you a wedgie and it wouldn't do you any real harm. There's minimal humiliation (a nasty little by-product of most forms of discipline) and I'd venture to say you (personally) would break out in peals of laughter if L or N whipped your underpants up above your hosiery line. Bring on the wedgies!

C. L. Hanson said...

Hey Hm-Uk!!!

Actually Leo does try to give me a return wedgie. Of course he's so little that it doesn't have much effect except -- as you guessed -- increase the general hilarity all around!!! ;^)

Rebecca said...

That's AWESOME. My brother-in-law gives my nieces and nephews "spankings" - he chases the down with the threat of spanking, then tickles them.

C. L. Hanson said...

Thanks Rebecca!!!

Yeah, that's the basic idea -- distract them with a joke punishment to stop the tantrum/fixation on something they can't have or do. :D