Those search queries just keep pouring in!!! Scrolling through my logs, I can see that the magic of the Internet has sent tons of people with questions (and in need of advice) to my blog, and -- never fear -- I am here to help!
As in the first installment of Ask Chanson, via Google, all of the following are actual unaltered search queries that led people to my blog:
Q: boys and girls and use the same bathroom?
A: In my apartment they do.
Q: what to say if you are an atheist and a good friend tries to convert you
A: Give him/her a copy of The God Delusion. J/K, if you value the friendship, that's probably not the best solution. Try having that "Let's agree to disagree and respect each other's values" talk. If that doesn't work, and the person insists on believing "everyone's a seeker until they've reached the point of agreeing with me," then I would start to question the value of the friendship.
Q: how to handle religious inlaws who don't approve of my atheism
A: Boundaries. I would highly recommend having a serious talk with your partner to make sure you're on the same page. Even if your partner isn't an atheist, you should be sure your partner understands the importance of treating one another with respect for the sake of family unity. If your partner blows off your concerns and thinks it's fine for his/her parents to be giving you subtle (or unsubtle) jabs, then try to avoid visiting your in-laws (encourage your partner to go without you).
Q: dad gave me the birds and bees talk
A: Good! If you have any further questions, I'm sure the Internet + Google can help! :D
Q: some people have nightmares about going to class naked
A: So true!
Q: three reasons why barack obama is the best candidate for president
A: (1) Energy independence and the environment are critical issues that need to be taken seriously now.
(2) He's very intelligent in an open-to-learning sort of way. I've read both his books, and his analysis transcends the standard left vs. right, and not in the sense of "let's find the most strategic way to compromise with our enemies" but rather in the sense of "let's analyze our problems and their causes without being limited to the traditional answers."
(3) Now that the other team has added a die-hard theocrat to the ticket (a sick old guy's heartbeat away from the captain's chair), they've completed the job of demonstrating they intend to stay the course 100% full steam ahead on GWB's failed policies. Frankly, with the addition of the abstinence-creationism-godly-war gov behind Mr. one-foot-in-the-grave, this is the most terrifying ticket I've ever seen, and I hope every citizen out there will be taking their job very seriously come November. I know I will. This is a critical election for the entire world...
Q: solution to discrimination against gays
A: I'd love to help you, if only I had a solution...
Q: worried about girls sunbathing topless
A: Sorry, with America's deadly dependence on foreign oil, the economy mortgaged to China, and the civil liberties of our Constitution hanging by a thread, you're worried about girls sunbathing topless? Sheesh, I wish that were my top concern...
Q: ex at family functions ignores me
A: That's too bad. But if it's annoying to run into your ex at family functions, next time don't marry your cousin.
Q: a man's visual arousal is part of his sin nature a man is not supposed to be aroused sexually by a womans physi
A: Hmmm. Well, if you feel that way, you can always go with a guy who's not aroused by women's bodies. One place to start is the various ex-gay groups. But I really, really, really don't recommend that option for straight women...
Q: did mary really appear at lourdes
A: What do you think?
Q: where to buy souvenirs in lourdes
Q: masturbation versus spirituality
A: You can take my opinion with a grain of salt, but I think masturbation is better.
Q: what is the typical latin woman's behaviour
A: If you're imagining you'll get a concise and accurate answer to this on a blog, then that's a bad sign...
Q: signs that you're a stalker
A: If you have to ask, then you should probably cut it out, whatever it is you're doing.
Q: i feel awful for stalking a girl
A: Well, then, stop it and don't do it again.
Q: stephenie meyer perverted
A: That is so true! Have you read Twilight? **shudder**
Q: does masturbation harm your body for women
A: Normally it doesn't, as long as you avoid using ridiculously oversized sex toys covered with sharp spikes.
Q: is it true after been broken there is second virginity
A: It depends on your definition of "virginity," but, if possible, I'd avoid dating guys who would be influenced by such a thing.
Q: i'm the sexiest women in colombo sri lanka and i want to have sex with a guy in colombo
A: Well, your problem doesn't sound terribly difficult to solve. Why are you wasting your time on the Internet? Go outside and look around!
Q: get sexy woman who wants sex only in gujarat,india
A: Well, I can't help you on that, but you might consider a trip to Colombo, Sri Lanka.
Q: is thomas the tank gay
A: No, it's James. How many times do I have to explain this?
Q: atheist kilt
A: What, you're looking for a tartan with the red "A" woven into it? That would be cool, but I don't know of one. But one or more of these kilt-wearing guys are atheists.
Q: pictures of naked scotsman in kilts
Q: naked men in kilts
A: I hate to be a stickler, but if they're wearing kilts, then they're not naked...
Q: men look better kilt
Q: photos of men with kilts and no underwear
Q: photo under men in kilts
Q: men in kilts with no underwear on
Q: do men wear underware under kilts
A: Yeah, I've heard there's some sort of custom about kilts and no undies. I'm not an expert, but this guy seems to have the scoop.
Q: why don't men wear underwear with a kilt
A: Are you kidding? And give up that mystique? ;^)
Well, that's all for now. But remember, if you have a question of any kind, just type it into a search engine and an answer will appear!!! (Your mileage may vary...)