Or maybe it's just me... ;^)
As I showed in my earlier search query advice post, a lot of people come to this blog for discussion of Mormonism and sex. While I'm at it, here are some more I've gotten recently:
Q: lds blog male sexuality :Q: coming of age in mormonism :Q: mormon nudist beach :Q: sex at byu :Q: lds lust :Q: naked mormon girls :Q: mormon girls are easy :Q: amish or mormon naked girls :Q: naughty mormon stories :Q: exmormon sex :Q: ex lds porn :Q: mormon religion and virginity :Q: can lds sunbathe topless? :Q: mormon erotica :Q: the church of jesus christ bickertonite homosexuality :Q: bad mormon girls :Q: naughty mormon women free nude pics :Q: sexy atheist :Q: atheism vs. spiritual marriages :Q: how a girl should arouse a mans sexual desire :Q: feeling aroused when presented with certain sexual cues is an involuntary biological response [someone was apparently looking for this post] :Q: horny mormon girl :Q: getting excited at thought of sex :Q: lds horny sex mormon :Q: naughty byu girls :Q: byu sex stories :Q: confessions of a byu student :Q: sex at byu library :Q: 'handicap bathroom' - college student sex story :Q: byu library sex exmo [These last few are referring to this story] :Q: enjoying polygamy erotic story [I think the book you're looking for is Brother Brigham] :Q: book sex scenes to read online [here] :Q: object lessons on sexual purity [here] :Q: mormon fundamentalist wife sex :Q: naughty mormon girls :Q
So let's just say it looks like there's some interest in the topic. Naturally I was thrilled when some Mormons started up a new blog about Mormon Sexuality (The Visitors' Center) and asked me to contribute to it!!!
For my first post there, I've written about Mormons' favorite erotic guilty pleasures: porn and Stephenie Meyer's Twilight. Here's the post: Unrealistic Expectations?
Enjoy!!! :D
The Adventures of a Friendly French-American ExMormon Atheist Mom Living in Switzerland!!!
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Everybody loves to talk about Mormon sexuality!!!
Labels:
blogging,
mormonism,
search queries,
sexuality
Virginia and me
The Indigo Girls' "Rites of Passage" is one of those rare albums that I like to listen to all the way through. I know this is an alien concept to the iPod generation, but in the olden days when you wanted to buy a recording of a song you liked, you had to buy it in a package of about 20 songs by the same artist and listen to them in the order the artist chose for you (unless you're fond of programming your C.D. player and/or constantly changing the disc). So I found myself occasionally listening to the Indigo Girls' song about Virginia Woolf.
It wasn't my favorite song on the album, but it's not bad, and it presents a fascinating perspective on one's death and legacy, so I spent time contemplating it. I posted the results of my musings here: Death II: Deal with it!
One day I was listening to this song and thought to myself "Maybe I should actually read this Room of One's Own book -- after all, it's short and my husband has a copy of it sitting right here on the bookshelf."
Obviously I was hoping to like the book. I'd heard it was an essay in favor of giving women the time, resources, and privacy to write. I'm totally down with that. In fact, I could hardly be more in favor of this position. It was the execution I had a problem with.
As I was reading along, I kept hoping the author would explain her position and present her arguments. Instead I found page after page of rambling and irrelevant poetic descriptive passages. I know her fans are probably saying "The poetry isn't irrelevant -- it's an essay about being a writer!" Right, but I was hoping that she'd show her mastery of the writer's craft by demonstrating that she knows how and when to make a point clearly and concisely.
I think it was the part where she was listing off the elaborate menu of some male scholars' club when I finally said, "Okay, that's it, I'm not slogging through any more of this." There are a lot of narratives that make the British caste system interesting with its grand institutions of nobility and snobbery. Orwell's essays come to mind. Not this.
Now I'm sure the problem isn't Virginia Woolf, it's me. I know, I have no poetry in my heart; I think that brevity is the soul of wit; I'm too much like Mr. Spock (see here and here). And keep in mind that I hold a work up to a higher standard if someone tells me it's great, as I explained when comparing The Da Vinci Code to His Dark Materials. In this case, however, if I'd been given this as an amateur work to give feedback on, I would have read it all the way to the end, but I would be even more adamant in my belief that it requires major editing rather than assuming that I need to work harder to figure out why I'm supposed to like it.
Actually this whole discussion breaks my usual book review policy that if I can't say something nice about a work then I don't review it at all. If this style suits other people, I don't mind. I'd rather steer people towards works I like than away from ones I don't like (but maybe they will). Thus I wouldn't have bothered to write about this work if it hadn't been the selection of the nonbelieving literati.
The published your diary
and that's how I got to know you
a key to the room of your own
and a mind without end.
It wasn't my favorite song on the album, but it's not bad, and it presents a fascinating perspective on one's death and legacy, so I spent time contemplating it. I posted the results of my musings here: Death II: Deal with it!
One day I was listening to this song and thought to myself "Maybe I should actually read this Room of One's Own book -- after all, it's short and my husband has a copy of it sitting right here on the bookshelf."
Obviously I was hoping to like the book. I'd heard it was an essay in favor of giving women the time, resources, and privacy to write. I'm totally down with that. In fact, I could hardly be more in favor of this position. It was the execution I had a problem with.
As I was reading along, I kept hoping the author would explain her position and present her arguments. Instead I found page after page of rambling and irrelevant poetic descriptive passages. I know her fans are probably saying "The poetry isn't irrelevant -- it's an essay about being a writer!" Right, but I was hoping that she'd show her mastery of the writer's craft by demonstrating that she knows how and when to make a point clearly and concisely.
I think it was the part where she was listing off the elaborate menu of some male scholars' club when I finally said, "Okay, that's it, I'm not slogging through any more of this." There are a lot of narratives that make the British caste system interesting with its grand institutions of nobility and snobbery. Orwell's essays come to mind. Not this.
Now I'm sure the problem isn't Virginia Woolf, it's me. I know, I have no poetry in my heart; I think that brevity is the soul of wit; I'm too much like Mr. Spock (see here and here). And keep in mind that I hold a work up to a higher standard if someone tells me it's great, as I explained when comparing The Da Vinci Code to His Dark Materials. In this case, however, if I'd been given this as an amateur work to give feedback on, I would have read it all the way to the end, but I would be even more adamant in my belief that it requires major editing rather than assuming that I need to work harder to figure out why I'm supposed to like it.
Actually this whole discussion breaks my usual book review policy that if I can't say something nice about a work then I don't review it at all. If this style suits other people, I don't mind. I'd rather steer people towards works I like than away from ones I don't like (but maybe they will). Thus I wouldn't have bothered to write about this work if it hadn't been the selection of the nonbelieving literati.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Ask Chanson (via Google)!
Ever since the Exterminator invented googl-oetry, I've taken to saving all my incoming search queries -- in hopes of regaling you all with another hilarious googl-oem like the one I composed here. The trouble is, though, that the funniest ones aren't that poetic. Or maybe it's just that they're such gems that I don't feel like I'm adding anything to them by juxtaposing them with one another.
Another thing I've noticed, though, is that a lot of them seem to be looking for information and or advice that I might be able to help on, but which may or not be answered on the page their query pulled up. So today I'll be playing advice columnist, treating my incoming search queries as (very, very short, cryptic) letters to me. :D
The first batch is the people asking about having sex on the first date. I get so many queries about this that I'm starting to feel like one of the world's leading experts on the subject. (Yes, these are all real queries typed int a search engine by readers -- and it isn't nearly all of them...)
Q: do most women prefer sex on the first date
Q: should i have sex on first date?
Q: having sex on first date what to say
Q: sex on first date always bad
Q: can sex on a first date turn into a relationship
Q: how many people have sex on the first date
Q: is it ok to have sex on the first date
Q: talking about sex on the 1st date
Q: how to not have sex on the first date
Q: should women 50 have sex on the first date
Q: sex in the car on the first date
Q: why people have sex at first date
Q: how to get sex on a first date
Q: men who get angry if you dont sleep with them on first date
Q: how to act after sex on the first date
Q: no sex on first date
Q: why people have sex on the first date?
Q: should a gay guy have sex the first meeting
Q: do real men call after having sex on the first date
Q: why doesnt guy call after sex on first date?
Q: how to get sex on the first date
Q: what they think about sex in a first date
Q: is sex on a first date ok
A: I can't promise I have useful advice for all of these people, but you can have a look at my thoughts on the subject here (and to a lesser degree here).
The next batch is the set of queries that I like to call the "I'm writing a book report" queries. Kids, if my ideas on these books are helpful, feel free to use them (though a citation is always appreciated...). Just remember not to copy/paste whole paragraphs since your teacher knows how to use Google too! :D
Q: ready explanation for class distinction in pride and prejudice
Q: innocence in pride and prejudice
A: see this post
Q: marquise de merteuil's servant girl
Q: dinner scenes in dangereuses liaisons and valmount
A: see this post
Q: role of rieux la peste
A: see this post
Q: political culture and persepolis
A: see this post
Q: walter kirn mormon story new yorker
A: see this post
An important sub-genre of this set is the questions about Philip Pullman's "His Dark Materials" trilogy. Some examples:
Q: pullman his dark materials part 1 review
Q: how is lyra like eve philip pullman his dark materials
Q: atheist fantasy book
Q: his dark materials themes
Q: atheism dark matter
Q: interpretation of his dark materials trilogy
Q: is philip pullman an atheist
Q: his dark materials, philip pullman, premise of books
A: These questions and many others are answered here.
However, more than half of my Pullman-related queries are asking one big question:
Q: do lyra and will have sex?
Q: philip pullman sex lyra
Q: lyra and will sex
Q: dark materials lyra will sex
Q: his dark materials sex
Q: his dark material, do will and lyra have sexual relations
Q: lyra and will are way too young to be makin out
I'm glad I've taken the time to discuss this (here). It makes me feel like I'm providing a valuable public service with my blog because clearly many, many people are confused on this point.
Pullman himself won't answer. I don't have the exact quote, but I read an interview where he said he wanted to leave the question open. Well, no duh, I would guess that when a grown-up writes a romantic love scene where a fifteen-year-old boy has unprotected sex with a twelve or thirteen-year-old girl, there's a certain amount of social pressure to pretend like maybe you didn't really write that.
It's unfortunate, too, because teens these days are having romantic/sexual relationships, and since they're still in the "learning about relationships" phase, they might really benefit from stories about other young people -- and particularly stories that take their relationships seriously. I have this exact problem with Exmormon: I wrote it largely for young people (hoping to be the Mormon Judy Blume), but since I don't want to get in trouble for corrupting the youth and being an inappropriate influence on other peoples' kids, I add the caveat that it's for people over 18 and/or teens whose parents have read it and have decided their kids are mature enough to handle it...
Anyway, off that soapbox and on to some real-life advice queries that led people to me!!!
Q: im worried about my non believing aunt going to hell
A: Well, worry no more!!! Hell doesn't exist.
Q: how to tell parents i'm atheist
A: This is a tricky one since there's no one right answer. It depends on your situation and your parents. You're on the right track to be searching the Internet, though!!! Read some atheist blogs, look for "coming out as atheist" stories, and from there you can plan the approach that's right for you and your family!
Q: my husband thinks its his fault our son is gay
A: Contact PFLAG -- they can help you out on this.
Q: i agreed to have sex with a guy i just met but now i wish i didn't
A: Well, if you haven't gone through with it yet, you're allowed to change your mind. Saying "sure, I'll have sex with you sometime" isn't a legally binding contract. If you've already done it, however, I hope you've learned a lesson about planning and thinking things through. Also, beware of alcohol if you're in a social situation with a guy you're not sure whether you want to have sex with or not.
Q: she is way hotter than i am is it even possible
A: Probably not, but you never know...
Q: i hate america switzerland and mormons
A: Then you've totally come to the wrong blog.
Q: child friendly story of christian pilgrimage to lourdes
A: Well, you're in luck -- I've written a whole series on taking kids to Lourdes!!!
Q: is pornography tied in with polygamy
A: Not really, but I have heard that early Mormons argued that polygamy is a good way to combat the horrible evil of male masturbation. I hope I don't have to explain how messed-up that is. (Also, it probably doesn't help much to stop female masturbation...)
Q: how did homesexuals affect the civil war
A: Good question!!! I have no idea, but if you figure it out, please tell me.
Q: arranged marriage should i tell her i masterbate
A: Probably, but not right off the bat. One of the problems with an arranged marriage is that you don't necessarily have a feel for your partner's attitudes. Also, if she's recently arrived from India, you never know if she might find western attitudes towards sex shocking, and this could start your relationship off on a bad note. I'd say wait until you have your intimate relationship established and you have a feel for your partner's attitudes. Introduce new ideas in a manner that is considerate of your partner's feelings. Once you get the impression she's willing and ready to have such a discussion, go ahead.
Q: am i bad at sex
A: How the hell should I know? Talk to your partner about it. If you are, good communication -- listening to what your partner likes and doesn't like -- can help you improve.
Q: real logical proof evolution is wrong
A: Mwahahahahahahahaha!!! Good luck, buddy!!! ;^)
Q: it takes faith to be an atheist argument
A: I've covered that one thoroghly here.
Q: biggest biblical massacre
A: That's a tricky one since there are a lot of contenders, but I talked about one of them here.
Q: ice cream and rape correlation
A: I'm glad Rebecca brought this up in the comments of this post because her comment regularly brings in search queries which I assume are from people who are interested in discussing how we should interpret statistical correlations with complicated things like rape. There's also the follow-up post talking about the correlation between porn and rape (the fact that rape decreases as porn access increases), and a discussion of how we might interpret that.
Q: what happens if i get a hard on at nude beach
A: They arrest you immediately. Haha, just kidding!!! The correct answer is "you will be very, very, very embarrassed."
Actually, I've gotten a whole series of questions about the nude beach, including topics I've covered (Q: topless seine A: see topless on the beach; Q: nude beaches urinating A: see More tales from the nude beach...), as well as a bunch of stuff I didn't cover:
Q: women have you ever done to the nudists beach to see naked guys
A: You mean gone? Probably some have, but not nearly so many as guys who go there to see the naked women.
Q: are nude beaches fun?
A: Yes.
Q: why aren't more beaches topless
A: Some people like to go swimming and not see naked people. Hard to believe, but true.
Q: why do women go topless on beaches ?
A: Does there have to be a reason?
Q: nude sunbathing benefits of
A: Uniformizes your skin cancer risk.
Q: extreme nude beaches
A: lol, regular nude beaches aren't exciting enough?
Q: why do the french have topless beaches in france
A: Where the hell else are they going to have them???
Q: nude sunbathing is ok with mom
A: That's good. You should really always get your mom's approval on this...
And the list goes on and on. I can't begin to tell you how many queries I get for sexy pics of people in particular places ever since I joked about that here. (Of course I have not posted any nude pics at all of anyone on my blog unless you count those silly little naked comics.) Actually those queries are some of the most entertaining (for my inner anthropologist) since I get a uniform distribution of people with local tastes (eg. the query "sexy ladies of boise idaho" coming in on an I.P. address in Boise, Idaho, or the query "sexy arab ladies" coming in from an I.P. address in the United Arab Emirates) and then people with really, really random exotic tastes (eg. the query "sexy naked ladies of Belgium" coming in from Cleveland, Ohio). I'll just say that -- if my stats are any indication -- no matter where you're from on the whole planet, somebody, somewhere wants to see you naked. ;^)
Then, of course, we have the whole range of Mormon-related questions:
Q: i found out my mormon boyfriend told another girl to wait for him
A: That sucks. On the other hand, if he's two-timing you while on his mission and you're at home, you could always try dating somebody else...
Q: you're an apostate
A: Why, thank you!
Q: lds teenage masturbation solutions
A: Believers probably won't like my solution, but I'll post it since you asked: Tell him/her it's normal (and private), and don't bug them about it.
Q: mormon girl can't date me sex
A: Well, those are the breaks. But (to give you another helpful cliché) there are other fish in the sea! :D
Q: i had sex with a mormon missionary
A: Well, that was very, very naughty of you!!! That's totally against their rules. Sheesh, I couldn't even get them to come to my house unchaperoned, see my series of mishie stories.
Q: are there girls at byu who have had sex
A: Yes. But that's against the rules too.
Q: sister missionaries sexy pics
A: I'm beginning to think some of you people don't really understand how this whole mission thing works...
Q: are there different types of mormons
A: Yes. In fact, I've made a whole handy guide to different types of Mormons.
Q: download exmormon c.l. hanson
A: I have chosen not to make this book avaliable for anonymous download. If you want an e-copy, you have to email me: chanson dot exmormon at gmail dot com
Well, I'm afraid I'm going to have to wrap this up since it's getting so long that blogger is choking on the autosave. It's too bad, too, because I've barely scratched the surface of the whole families of fabulous search queries I've gotten lately!!!
Oh well, I'll end with a really nice one I got the other day:
Q: most popular blog ex mormon mom
A: Aww, if only it were true!!! :D I'm flattered that this led you to my blog anyway, and I plan to keep on providing you with useful and/or entertaining stories right here at "Letters from a Broad"! :D
Another thing I've noticed, though, is that a lot of them seem to be looking for information and or advice that I might be able to help on, but which may or not be answered on the page their query pulled up. So today I'll be playing advice columnist, treating my incoming search queries as (very, very short, cryptic) letters to me. :D
The first batch is the people asking about having sex on the first date. I get so many queries about this that I'm starting to feel like one of the world's leading experts on the subject. (Yes, these are all real queries typed int a search engine by readers -- and it isn't nearly all of them...)
Q: do most women prefer sex on the first date
Q: should i have sex on first date?
Q: having sex on first date what to say
Q: sex on first date always bad
Q: can sex on a first date turn into a relationship
Q: how many people have sex on the first date
Q: is it ok to have sex on the first date
Q: talking about sex on the 1st date
Q: how to not have sex on the first date
Q: should women 50 have sex on the first date
Q: sex in the car on the first date
Q: why people have sex at first date
Q: how to get sex on a first date
Q: men who get angry if you dont sleep with them on first date
Q: how to act after sex on the first date
Q: no sex on first date
Q: why people have sex on the first date?
Q: should a gay guy have sex the first meeting
Q: do real men call after having sex on the first date
Q: why doesnt guy call after sex on first date?
Q: how to get sex on the first date
Q: what they think about sex in a first date
Q: is sex on a first date ok
A: I can't promise I have useful advice for all of these people, but you can have a look at my thoughts on the subject here (and to a lesser degree here).
The next batch is the set of queries that I like to call the "I'm writing a book report" queries. Kids, if my ideas on these books are helpful, feel free to use them (though a citation is always appreciated...). Just remember not to copy/paste whole paragraphs since your teacher knows how to use Google too! :D
Q: ready explanation for class distinction in pride and prejudice
Q: innocence in pride and prejudice
A: see this post
Q: marquise de merteuil's servant girl
Q: dinner scenes in dangereuses liaisons and valmount
A: see this post
Q: role of rieux la peste
A: see this post
Q: political culture and persepolis
A: see this post
Q: walter kirn mormon story new yorker
A: see this post
An important sub-genre of this set is the questions about Philip Pullman's "His Dark Materials" trilogy. Some examples:
Q: pullman his dark materials part 1 review
Q: how is lyra like eve philip pullman his dark materials
Q: atheist fantasy book
Q: his dark materials themes
Q: atheism dark matter
Q: interpretation of his dark materials trilogy
Q: is philip pullman an atheist
Q: his dark materials, philip pullman, premise of books
A: These questions and many others are answered here.
However, more than half of my Pullman-related queries are asking one big question:
Q: do lyra and will have sex?
Q: philip pullman sex lyra
Q: lyra and will sex
Q: dark materials lyra will sex
Q: his dark materials sex
Q: his dark material, do will and lyra have sexual relations
Q: lyra and will are way too young to be makin out
I'm glad I've taken the time to discuss this (here). It makes me feel like I'm providing a valuable public service with my blog because clearly many, many people are confused on this point.
Pullman himself won't answer. I don't have the exact quote, but I read an interview where he said he wanted to leave the question open. Well, no duh, I would guess that when a grown-up writes a romantic love scene where a fifteen-year-old boy has unprotected sex with a twelve or thirteen-year-old girl, there's a certain amount of social pressure to pretend like maybe you didn't really write that.
It's unfortunate, too, because teens these days are having romantic/sexual relationships, and since they're still in the "learning about relationships" phase, they might really benefit from stories about other young people -- and particularly stories that take their relationships seriously. I have this exact problem with Exmormon: I wrote it largely for young people (hoping to be the Mormon Judy Blume), but since I don't want to get in trouble for corrupting the youth and being an inappropriate influence on other peoples' kids, I add the caveat that it's for people over 18 and/or teens whose parents have read it and have decided their kids are mature enough to handle it...
Anyway, off that soapbox and on to some real-life advice queries that led people to me!!!
Q: im worried about my non believing aunt going to hell
A: Well, worry no more!!! Hell doesn't exist.
Q: how to tell parents i'm atheist
A: This is a tricky one since there's no one right answer. It depends on your situation and your parents. You're on the right track to be searching the Internet, though!!! Read some atheist blogs, look for "coming out as atheist" stories, and from there you can plan the approach that's right for you and your family!
Q: my husband thinks its his fault our son is gay
A: Contact PFLAG -- they can help you out on this.
Q: i agreed to have sex with a guy i just met but now i wish i didn't
A: Well, if you haven't gone through with it yet, you're allowed to change your mind. Saying "sure, I'll have sex with you sometime" isn't a legally binding contract. If you've already done it, however, I hope you've learned a lesson about planning and thinking things through. Also, beware of alcohol if you're in a social situation with a guy you're not sure whether you want to have sex with or not.
Q: she is way hotter than i am is it even possible
A: Probably not, but you never know...
Q: i hate america switzerland and mormons
A: Then you've totally come to the wrong blog.
Q: child friendly story of christian pilgrimage to lourdes
A: Well, you're in luck -- I've written a whole series on taking kids to Lourdes!!!
Q: is pornography tied in with polygamy
A: Not really, but I have heard that early Mormons argued that polygamy is a good way to combat the horrible evil of male masturbation. I hope I don't have to explain how messed-up that is. (Also, it probably doesn't help much to stop female masturbation...)
Q: how did homesexuals affect the civil war
A: Good question!!! I have no idea, but if you figure it out, please tell me.
Q: arranged marriage should i tell her i masterbate
A: Probably, but not right off the bat. One of the problems with an arranged marriage is that you don't necessarily have a feel for your partner's attitudes. Also, if she's recently arrived from India, you never know if she might find western attitudes towards sex shocking, and this could start your relationship off on a bad note. I'd say wait until you have your intimate relationship established and you have a feel for your partner's attitudes. Introduce new ideas in a manner that is considerate of your partner's feelings. Once you get the impression she's willing and ready to have such a discussion, go ahead.
Q: am i bad at sex
A: How the hell should I know? Talk to your partner about it. If you are, good communication -- listening to what your partner likes and doesn't like -- can help you improve.
Q: real logical proof evolution is wrong
A: Mwahahahahahahahaha!!! Good luck, buddy!!! ;^)
Q: it takes faith to be an atheist argument
A: I've covered that one thoroghly here.
Q: biggest biblical massacre
A: That's a tricky one since there are a lot of contenders, but I talked about one of them here.
Q: ice cream and rape correlation
A: I'm glad Rebecca brought this up in the comments of this post because her comment regularly brings in search queries which I assume are from people who are interested in discussing how we should interpret statistical correlations with complicated things like rape. There's also the follow-up post talking about the correlation between porn and rape (the fact that rape decreases as porn access increases), and a discussion of how we might interpret that.
Q: what happens if i get a hard on at nude beach
A: They arrest you immediately. Haha, just kidding!!! The correct answer is "you will be very, very, very embarrassed."
Actually, I've gotten a whole series of questions about the nude beach, including topics I've covered (Q: topless seine A: see topless on the beach; Q: nude beaches urinating A: see More tales from the nude beach...), as well as a bunch of stuff I didn't cover:
Q: women have you ever done to the nudists beach to see naked guys
A: You mean gone? Probably some have, but not nearly so many as guys who go there to see the naked women.
Q: are nude beaches fun?
A: Yes.
Q: why aren't more beaches topless
A: Some people like to go swimming and not see naked people. Hard to believe, but true.
Q: why do women go topless on beaches ?
A: Does there have to be a reason?
Q: nude sunbathing benefits of
A: Uniformizes your skin cancer risk.
Q: extreme nude beaches
A: lol, regular nude beaches aren't exciting enough?
Q: why do the french have topless beaches in france
A: Where the hell else are they going to have them???
Q: nude sunbathing is ok with mom
A: That's good. You should really always get your mom's approval on this...
And the list goes on and on. I can't begin to tell you how many queries I get for sexy pics of people in particular places ever since I joked about that here. (Of course I have not posted any nude pics at all of anyone on my blog unless you count those silly little naked comics.) Actually those queries are some of the most entertaining (for my inner anthropologist) since I get a uniform distribution of people with local tastes (eg. the query "sexy ladies of boise idaho" coming in on an I.P. address in Boise, Idaho, or the query "sexy arab ladies" coming in from an I.P. address in the United Arab Emirates) and then people with really, really random exotic tastes (eg. the query "sexy naked ladies of Belgium" coming in from Cleveland, Ohio). I'll just say that -- if my stats are any indication -- no matter where you're from on the whole planet, somebody, somewhere wants to see you naked. ;^)
Then, of course, we have the whole range of Mormon-related questions:
Q: i found out my mormon boyfriend told another girl to wait for him
A: That sucks. On the other hand, if he's two-timing you while on his mission and you're at home, you could always try dating somebody else...
Q: you're an apostate
A: Why, thank you!
Q: lds teenage masturbation solutions
A: Believers probably won't like my solution, but I'll post it since you asked: Tell him/her it's normal (and private), and don't bug them about it.
Q: mormon girl can't date me sex
A: Well, those are the breaks. But (to give you another helpful cliché) there are other fish in the sea! :D
Q: i had sex with a mormon missionary
A: Well, that was very, very naughty of you!!! That's totally against their rules. Sheesh, I couldn't even get them to come to my house unchaperoned, see my series of mishie stories.
Q: are there girls at byu who have had sex
A: Yes. But that's against the rules too.
Q: sister missionaries sexy pics
A: I'm beginning to think some of you people don't really understand how this whole mission thing works...
Q: are there different types of mormons
A: Yes. In fact, I've made a whole handy guide to different types of Mormons.
Q: download exmormon c.l. hanson
A: I have chosen not to make this book avaliable for anonymous download. If you want an e-copy, you have to email me: chanson dot exmormon at gmail dot com
Well, I'm afraid I'm going to have to wrap this up since it's getting so long that blogger is choking on the autosave. It's too bad, too, because I've barely scratched the surface of the whole families of fabulous search queries I've gotten lately!!!
Oh well, I'll end with a really nice one I got the other day:
Q: most popular blog ex mormon mom
A: Aww, if only it were true!!! :D I'm flattered that this led you to my blog anyway, and I plan to keep on providing you with useful and/or entertaining stories right here at "Letters from a Broad"! :D
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