Bad public sex stories...

Now, the last thing I want to do is discourage people from taking the train. But since I told you about my earlier train trip, now I'd like to tell you what happened this last time I took the train to come here. You can decide which is worse...

I was on the train from Bordeaux to Lille, getting off in the suburbs of Paris to visit friends before continuing on to Zurich. At one of the stations, a guy who looked to be in his mid-twenties -- neither exceptionally attractive nor unattractive -- got on and took the seat just across the aisle from where I was sitting. (Note that the seat numbers are assigned on the tickets, so he didn't specifically choose to sit by me.) He got out a portable computer and began watching a movie on it. I had an aisle seat, and since there was a guy in the window seat next to me (coincidentally also watching a film on a P.C.), I couldn't just stare out the window as I normally do when I'm riding the train thinking of silly things to write on my blog. So I kind of had to stare up the aisle instead.

While I was sitting there chuckling to myself about all of hilarious things I might write, I saw something out of the corner of my eye. Is that guy resting his hand on his crotch? My conscious mind was saying Don't turn and look, don't turn and look, whatever you do, don't turn and look! But my unconscious reflex won out, so I turned for a split-second micro-glance. I confirmed my initial impression, and immediately after the glance, the guy nonchalantly moved his hand away.

A few minutes later, the same guy (sitting across the aisle from me) shifted to a more comfortable, reclined position in his chair. Then he put his hand in his pocket, and it was quite clear that his hand was moving. And I don't mean a simple adjustment or rearrangement.

The film the guy was apparently watching wasn't something erotic as far as I could tell, and he didn't give the impression of creepily leering. He seemed more uncomfortable than anything else. (And, yes, I really did take in all of this information with my peripheral vision alone and didn't look again after that one micro-glance -- well-trained peripheral vision is an important skill for any serious primatologist.)

I could almost sympathize. After all, due to some unfortunate scheduling problems, my husband had to go to Switzerland with the kids (for their school and his job) a week earlier than I did, so I'd spent the week alone (packing and supervising the movers). On that trip, I was on my way to see my sweetie after not having seen him for more than a week, and those of you who have been in a similar situation know what that's like. Of course -- for the few hours on the train, at least -- I was able to keep all of these thoughts confined to the interior of my head and not allow my hands to wander to the nether regions, out of courtesy to the other passengers who don't want to see that.

(Some of you are probably thinking "Actually, Chanson, there's a decent chance that guy did want to see that..." Right. I'm not talking about him. I'm talking about the other other passengers.)

To me, masturbating while riding the train is a little like drinking and driving: neither activity is a problem by itself, but they don't go together. This particular incident didn't bother me -- just more free data for my inner anthropologist, as usual -- but many other people might find it upsetting and even threating. It essentially amounts to a non-consensual sex act. The other people on the train just want to get where they're going, and they certainly didn't ask to share this intimate moment with you.

I think even Dan Savage would agree with me. I don't have the exact reference, but once some guy wrote about how he and his wife like to have sex in public, and was complaining about all the prudes that didn't appreciate the show. And Dan told him that having a kink that involves random bystanders is not fair to the random bystanders, which makes sense. Now you're probably thinking this is incredibly hypocritical of me, considering my claim to fame **cough** BYU library **cough** (and to a lesser degree my tales from topless and nude beaches). As far as the nude beaches are concerned, the people who go there know what they're in for, and as for the BYU library? Well, like I said, it was a case where there was one door to lock the entire room, not just a stall (where there might potentially be random people in the room just outside the stall). I guess it's tricky to decide precisely where to draw the line for what constitutes common decency. Feel free to debate me in the comments. ;^)

Having sex in a public place naturally has its risks. I remember back when I was attending Rutgers, the Mathematics building (the Hill Center) was never completely locked. So there were students in there all the time (24/7, on holidays, weekends, whenever). It was quite convenient for grad students working on their thesis research at odd hours. One time a friend and fellow grad student recounted to me the following story:

She was in her office working on her research during the weekend, and she sent something to the printer to be printed. The way the building was arranged, the shortest path from her office to the printer room was through one of the classrooms. (These classrooms were normally locked, but many of the grad students had keys to them.) So she opened the door and turned on the light, and she found a pair of undergrads having sex right there in the classroom. Then the really surprising part of the story was what happened next. The guy said "Close the door," but my friend refused to close the door, she insisted that they disengage immediately, get dressed, and get the hell out of there. And that's what they did.

My friend told me this story as though that were a perfectly reasonable thing to do. Maybe it was. After all, random undergrads weren't supposed to be in that classroom on weekends at all, much less having sex. But if it were me, after one glance I would have turned the light back off, closed the door, and taken another path to the printer room.

Then I would have immediately gone and written all about it on my blog. ;^)

Is that weird of me? Does any of this make sense?

More tales from the nude beach...

My post topless on the beach -- which I wrote nearly a year ago -- remains my #1 post, bringing in tons of hits from search engines every day.

I hadn't realized the subject of nude sunbathing was quite that interesting. At the time it was a post I tossed off practically as filler. But I'm starting to think that many of you out there in cyberspace have never been to a nude beach (or even a topless beach), and perhaps are curious. So in the interest of making sure my blog provides a valuable public service, today I'm going to try to remember more about the subject.

One question that comes up in a lot of search queries is about nude beaches for families. I personally didn't see many kids the few times I went to the nude beach in New Jersey, and the few I saw were very small. My impression is that bringing kids along for nudist activities is more a nude camping thing. I've never done that, but I've heard about it.

On the other hand, the beaches in France are full of kids, and partial nudity abounds. It's common for little kids to swim naked, and as I said in my earlier post, lots of the women go topless. I don't recall seeing that many moms going topless when they have kids with them, but I wasn't really looking out for that.

Another very common topic for search queries is people being shy about going topless on the beach for the first time. That seems like a pretty logical topic to wonder about since it must happen: A woman wants to go to the nude beach because all her friends are doing it, but she's shy about it. Really, that's kind of an erotic image. Unfortunately I don't have any anecdotes about that because I've never seen any obvious examples. All the people I've seen going nude or partially nude looked like they were either completely blasé about the whole thing or they were actually getting off on it. I know in my own case that was the whole draw: the thought of all these random strangers wanting to get a good look. So when the guy I was with would tell me about this or that guy taking an extra long look (apparently they wouldn't do it much when I was looking at them, but they were ignoring my companion), it was kind of amusing. For my inner anthropologist.

It's a good idea to go with a guy, though, because that way all of the random strangers keep their distance. Whenever we would get separated (if one of us would have to go get something) guys would come around and try to start a conversation with me. It's probably absurd of me to be annoyed by that, but I guess on some level I'd decided that the rules of the game should be "look, don't pester" and those guys were ruining it for everybody. Maybe other ladies feel differently, and in that case they're better off going to the nude beach with other women.

(Feminists will probably be annoyed that I'm taking it for granted that guys will assume that a group of women together are fair game for being hit on. But seriously, if you'd like to go hang out with a bunch of other women without having random guys hit on you, the straight area of the nude beach is the wrong choice.)

One funny thing that happened when I was at the nude beach was that I saw a guy get a citation for public urination. Apparently for some people the mere fact of being covered by pants is their primary inhibition from peeing -- not hygiene or social convention or stuff like that. As soon as the guy was done, a beach cop drove up in a beach buggy and chewed him out, pointing out the public toilets not far away.

That was the only time I've ever seen anyone get a ticket for public urination. I've certainly never seen anyone get in trouble for it here in France. Now that I think about it, I'm not sure it's even illegal here. After all, with all the dog crap in the streets, who's going to notice a little human urine here and there?

That's all I can think of for the moment. I wish I had more stories for you, but I didn't go that many times...

At the risk of beating a dead horse...

To clarify my Questioning Objectification post, I'd like to emphasize that I think it is very bad for sexuality to be imposed upon women in an inappropriate context. My point is that it is far easier to tackle inappropriate sexual treatment if you're holding in your other hand a clear model of what constitutes appropriate sexual expression.

Men can understand the difference between appropriate and inappropriate behavior. Just because it's okay for a given man to fondle his wife or girlfriend in the privacy of their bedroom, he will not immediately assume that means it's okay for him to fondle strangers on the bus. The fact that it's okay to stare at an image on a screen won't make a man automatically assume that it's okay to stare at a colleague's chest at work or to make unwanted comments about the bodies of platonic friends.

Much of our culture gives young guys the following message: "The morality police don't want you looking at sexy women at all," with the accompanying flip-side message "but, hey, it's a guy thing..."

Feminists who view sexuality in terms of objectification are promoting exactly the same message. Behaviors that should be denounced as harassment are held up as some sort of proof that sexuality is fundamentally about men using women, as if harassment were an inseparable component of male sexuality.

But when a woman chooses to step up on stage and deliberately promotes her sex-appeal as part of her act, there's a big difference between seeking out such fare as part of one's leisure entertainment versus imposing sexual attention on women who don't want it. Feminists should be the vanguard of emphasizing this distinction.

Now the attentive feminist will be pointing out that the consent of the performer alone is not always a sufficient measure of whether a sexualized image is appropriate. For example, in the media it's often a problem that a man in a non-sexual role is expected to look stately and wise, whereas a woman in the same role is required to look young and beautiful. This disparity shows up in newscasters as well as in the portrayal of parents in sitcoms (as I discussed here). Such cases can be analyzed and treated more effectively based on a rational theory of expecting the media to present a balanced and realistic portrayal of women as whole people -- a portrayal that includes sexuality as well as including females who are interesting and esteemed for qualities other than beauty. We'll never get anywhere on such problems if we base our feminist analysis on the irrational and utterly worthless theory that displays of sexuality degrade women and place them in an inferior position.

Questioning Objectification

If there's one thesis I'd like to nail to the church door of feminism, it would be this:

Desire does not equal objectification.

Many women believe that when a man is aroused by the sight of a woman -- particularly by seeing and touching her face, hair, and body -- he reduces her in his mind to a "sex object."

Probably the most serious problem with this theory is that -- like the concept of sin -- the doctrine of objectification clouds the real issue: consent. Weighing sexual expression in terms of objectification encourages people to lump consensual and non-consensual sex acts together as being both harmful to women. It discourages people from using consent (or lack thereof) as a good measure of whether harm has been done.

Unfortunately it's difficult to debate the concept of objectification on its merits because the term "objectification" is not well-defined. There's no clear-cut criteria for determining what is objectification and what isn't. Even the notoriously ill-defined term "porn" is easier to pin down. I've seen the term "objectification" applied to any instance of a man deriving pleasure from seeing or touching a woman's body, especially if specific body parts act as a trigger for arousal. So the charge of objectification can be used to condemn a huge range of sexual expression. Yet when it comes time to demonstrate the harm, the term "objectification" contracts to cover only the most flagrant examples. Thus it becomes nearly impossible to discuss or debate the concept in any reasonable manner.

Nonetheless, I'd like to try to hold up the concept of objectification to scrutiny based on what seems to be the popular definition.

The problem with the concept of objectification is that it is not consistent with reality. Feeling aroused when presented with certain sexual cues is an involuntary biological response that has nothing whatsoever to do with a man's capacity to see women as whole people, as equals, as partners, as colleagues, etc.

Being irrational, the doctrine of objectification is counterproductive. It alienates potential allies. There are many men who respect the abilities of their female colleagues and would like to stand up for women's equality. However they are made to feel that if an image of a nude woman turns them on, then they are the enemy and not welcome to call themselves feminists. For many men, feeling aroused by the female form is a fundamental component of their sexuality that no amount of "education" can possibly change any more than prayer will change a gay person into a straight person. Feminists should be educating these men that their arousal response is normal, but that there's a time and a place for it, and they need to be careful to treat they the women they interact with in the way the women would like to be treated. Feminists should not be saying "If you masturbate in the privacy of your own home while thinking about women and/or looking at consensually produced images, then you're a misogynist!"

As much of a shame as it is to alienate potential male allies however, the real tragedy is that the doctrine of objectification also alienates many women. It is not possible to condemn male sexuality without (as a side effect) condemning the sexuality of many straight women who like to have sex with men. If a woman is aroused by showing off her own body -- and in particular is aroused by seeing the effect she has on men -- then the doctrine of objectification tells her that she's disrespecting herself by turning herself into a sex object. The problem again is that this is a perfectly ordinary arousal cue, well within the range of normal arousal cues for women. The feminist movement should be encouraging women to explore their sexuality openly, not limiting what female sexuality is allowed.

As you might guess, this issue is important to me personally because I fall into that class of women who are sometimes made to feel unwelcome at the feminist table. I've spent quite a lot of time analyzing my own sexuality, and being honest with my own desires, I have come to the realization that I am far more aroused by turning a man on -- by the thought of male desire -- than I am by looking at an image of a beautiful man. Patriarchal religionists as well as feminists who preach the doctrine of objectification would tell me that this is because I have internalized "man as subject" in my personal sexual narrative and/or that I must want to be an object and therefore don't respect myself. But in reality it doesn't mean that at all. It doesn't mean anything. It is a random arousal cue. Period.

Now I would like to quote my favorite columnist, Dan Savage:

Not all men into BDSM are chauvinist pigs. There are tons of misogynist males out there into strictly vanilla sex.[...] There's no rhyme or reason to most people's fantasies;

[Note that Dan Savage's column is adult, however I encourage people who are not offended by it to go read the whole thing because I've taken this quote way out of context: here]

As I said in my feminist sexuality post I don't think that it's possible for anyone who is following my blog to seriously argue that I lack self-confidence, self-respect, or self-esteem. It pisses me off that the feminist movement would make me feel like I need to defend myself against such charges.

Personally, in my own relationships, I have never once had a problem with the question "Does he like me as a whole person? Or does he see me as just a means to get off?"

Do you want to know why?

Because "Does he find me interesting to talk to?" is absolutely the wrong question for a feminist to be asking herself. The right question is "Do I find him interesting to talk to?"

It turns out that the people I am interested in talking to are interested in talking to me.

It is because of my own self-confidence that there is no danger I will be mistaken for an object by anyone whose opinion matters.

Nice, friendly naked people...

Okay, one more post about funny search queries that have led people to my blog (such as the title of this post).

My earlier post may have given you the idea that every morning I'm sitting at my computer -- coffee mug in hand -- reading the logs of my blog's statcounter and chuckling over all of the hilarious search queries.

That impression would be absolutely correct.

If you found this blog through a search engine, you may rest assured that I will read your query search terms. And if they're funny, I'll have a good laugh about it!!! (But remember, I'm laughing with you, not at you. No, really!!!)

This blog attracts the most hilarious queries!!! Unfortunately, I can't give you too many examples since I don't normally save them. I was just saving the sex/nudity related ones for anthropological research, but I've stopped doing even that since it's too time-consuming.

I've saved a few, though. One confusing one I got recently was this: "how to talk to my father about the birds and the bees."

I read that one and thought: "Wait a minute -- you don't talk to your parents about the birds and the bees, you talk to your kids about that." Then I thought maybe the search query was actually typed by a kid. That made it even more confusing since I was thinking "Why do you need to ask your parents about sex if you know how to use google?"

Oh, well. Hopefully my birds and bees and whales post was helpful to this person... ;-)

But I think my all-time favorite was when someone came in on a search for "nice, friendly naked people."

Because I cover a lot of topics on this blog (living in France, literature, feminism/sexuality/politics, parenting, cultural Mormon community, Mormonism in general, my family, my fond memories, etc.), but when it comes right down to it, that's what this blog is really all about: nice, friendly naked people. ;-)

So, who wants to see some sexy topless nude beach sunbathing photos?

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

I've really got to stop doing that. But I can't stop because it's just too funny!!! ;-)

But I have to be honest here -- I found it at once hilarious and fascinating that my topless on the beach post attracted so many search queries from so many places around the world. I'd posted stuff about sex before, so I expected to get a few blogsearch click-throughs for it. But it really took me by surprise to see how many more searches this one attracted than any others, including posts that contained potentially harder-core key words.

The funny thing is that I feel like on some level I've found some worldwide cross-cultural common ground. I know you're thinking "Chanson, that's horrible that the one time you find some common ground among all of the nations of the world it's the discovery that guys everywhere want to look at pictures of ladies' boobies!!!" But really it's more than just that. It's pretty clear that some of these people were looking for pictures of naked men. ;-)

Plus the sneaky thing is that I didn't even post any naked pictures!!! (Well, except those silly cartoons.)

Haha, I'm such a tease!!! I was directing all of these naughty people to some discussions of feminist topics such as the above post and my other posts about feminism & sexuality.

So without further ado, I'll answer my question: "Who wants to see some sexy topless nude beach sunbathing photos?"

Idaho, Boise, United States: topless european beach
Texas, Houston, United States: photos of topless beach goers
Texas, Georgetown, United States: beach nudes
Massachusetts, Woburn, United States: "my blog" "on the beach" photo sun bathing
Bulgaria: Nude Beach mens
Virginia, Reston, United States: canadian female topless
North Carolina, Charlotte, United States: topless beach photos
South Wales, Sydney, Australia: naughty naked adventures site
England, Manchester, United Kingdom: topless british beaches
New Jersey, Willingboro, United States: first time at nude beach
India: topless french tourists
Louisiana, New Orleans, United States: GOING TOPLESS STORIES
Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, United States: blog nude beach new jersey
England, London, United Kingdom: topless bathers
New Mexico, Albuquerque, United States: nude beach
District Of Columbia, Washington, United States: estonia topless
Oklahoma, Oklahoma City, United States: topless bathers
New York, Clifton Park, United States: first time on beach topless
Colorado, Colorado Springs, United States: bikini beach topless vacation
Spain: WOMEN IN TOP LESS IN THE BEACH
California, Vacaville, United States: artful nudes
Connecticut, Bridgeport, United States: marseille nude beach
Noord-holland, Amsterdam, Netherlands: nude beaches stories
United Kingdom: nude beach
Ohio, Columbus, United States: naked female programmers
British Columbia, Vancouver, Canada: topless parents vacation
England, London, United Kingdom: beaches were women can go topless with pictures of them
Emilia-romagna, Bologna, Italy: my first time topless beach
Namibia: PHOTOS OF FRENCH BEACHES
Virginia, Herndon, United States: topless women, beaches
Utah, Tooele, United States: mormon nudes
Italy: nude beach in italy
Illinois, Wood Dale, United States: NUDE PHOTO BLOGSPOT
Ile-de-france, Paris, France: topless french beach
Massachusetts, Newburyport, United States: french breasts on beach
Queensland, Brisbane, Australia: topless students
Western Australia, Perth, Australia: gorgeous female bodies nude on the beach
Ile-de-france, Paris, France: english girls sunbathing topless
Ile-de-france, Paris, France: gay beaches aquitaine pictures
Ohio, Cincinnati, United States: photo beaches topless
England, London, United Kingdom: beach topless women
Tamil Nadu, Chennai, India: complete nude beaches
Australia: topless beach goers
New York, New York, United States: mormon nudes
Italy: top bikini beach topless bare breasts
Georgia, Valdosta, United States: nude beach pics real deal
Missouri, St. Louis, United States: going topless beach story
United States: lets go to europe to nude beachs
Antwerpen, Antwerp, Belgium: first time topless
Al Qahirah, Cairo, Egypt: pictures for topless beaches
Texas, Dallas, United States: nude beach stories
Arizona, Phoenix, United States: nude bar
California, San Francisco, United States: estonia beaches topless
North Carolina, Hillsborough, United States: bikini nude beaches
California, Costa Mesa, United States: beach pictures france TOPLESS
Indiana, Indianapolis, United States: cute naked men
Arizona, Tempe, United States: gay nude sunbathing AZ
Florida, Tallahassee, United States: french nude beaches
England, Stockport, United Kingdom: gone topless
Massachusetts, Chestnut Hill, United States: new jersey nude beach story
Italy: european vacation red bikini topless
South Carolina, Anderson, United States: beach nudity
Queensland, Brisbane, Australia: shy to go topless stories
New Jersey, Mt. Laurel, United States: no swimsuit beach goers
Bayern, Munich, Germany: topless beach blogspot
California, Chatsworth, United States: topless beaches
Ontario, Burlington, Canada: nude beach women
Dublin, Dublin, Ireland: topless beach shy
New Jersey, Hawthorne, United States: "going to the nude beach" "first time"
Ohio, Cincinnati, United States: NUDE BEACH WEAR
Michigan, Rockford, United States: my nude vacation pictures
New York, Brooklyn, United States: topless latvian
Midi-pyrenees, Toulouse, France: first time topless beach
Pennsylvania, Coraopolis, United States: nude bar
Saudi Arabia: bikini top less
Wisconsin, Sun Prairie, United States: bikini vacation
England, London, United Kingdom: swiss beach topless
France: Beach Topless
New South Wales, Sydney, Australia: clevage topless
Pennsylvania, Halifax, United States: topless beaches
Manitoba, Brandon, Canada: nude fun french beach
Virginia, Centreville, United States: nude beach topless
United States: topless france beach
England, Nottingham, United Kingdom: topless first time
New Hampshire, Jaffrey, United States: topless women on beach
British Columbia, Vancouver, Canada: nude beaches france
Pennsylvania, York, United States: topless beach first time
New York, Bronx, United States: topless beaches pictures
United Kingdom: see me topless
United Kingdom: nude beach experiences
Arizona, Phoenix, United States: az nudes
California, Rancho Cucamonga, United States: Tasteful Nudes having sex
England, Portsmouth, United Kingdom: caught topless at the beach
Etela-suomen Laani, Loviisa, Finland: marseille nude beach
New South Wales, Sydney, Australia: clevage topless
Alberta, Calgary, Canada: topless German beach
Wisconsin, Milwaukee, United States: first topless vacation
California, West Hollywood, United States: "point dume" nude
Illinois, Wood Dale, United States: topless beach pictures blogspot
England, London, United Kingdom: artful nudes beach
Karnataka, Bangalore, India: men and women nude on beach
Ohio, Troy, United States: naked people
Michigan, Troy, United States: topless swimming beach
Poland: nude beach women
Rheinland-pfalz, Bitburg, Germany: mormons having sex
England, London, United Kingdom: topless france sunbathing
Washington, Seattle, United States: going to a topless beach
Nordrhein-westfalen, Leverkusen, Germany: topless beach
District Of Columbia, Washington, United States: topless beaches of europe
England, London, United Kingdom: beach men blogspot
District Of Columbia, Washington, United States: i love nude beaches
Khania, Souda, Greece: nude beach stories
Washington, Seattle, United States: artful nudes
California, Irvine, United States: topless beach
Jiangsu, Jiangsu, China: nude beach
Wilayah Persekutuan, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia: topless beach goers
Lombardia, Milano, Italy: south france topless love beach
India: naked beaches
Maryland, Silver Spring, United States: middle aged women topless at beach
South Africa: nude running on the beach with surfboard
Lazio, Rome, Italy: topless first time
Bahrain: Nude Beach
Florida, Orlando, United States: topless first time
Iowa, Clinton, United States: stories of girls going topless for the first time
Massachusetts, Fall River, United States: nude beaches
New York, New York, United States: no-clothes beach
United Kingdom: vacation shots topless
Germany: Latvia beach foto nude
Ontario, Burlington, Canada: Mediterranean nude beaches pictures
Illinois, Chicago, United States: topless women on the beach
New Jersey, Mt. Laurel, United States: nude beach guys
Ontario, Ottawa, Canada: beach-nude blogspot
Pennsylvania, West Chester, United States: topless first time beach
Bretagne, Rennes, France: beach topless
California, Woodland Hills, United States: nude beach
England, London, United Kingdom: just topless on the beach
Hamburg, Hamburg, Germany: topless europe
Utah, Sandy, United States: do mormon women go topless
New Jersey, Randolph, United States: artful nudes
Georgia, Atlanta, United States: native woman in africa topless
New York, Bronx, United States: going topless first time
Georgia, Atlanta, United States: sexy beach topless europe
New Jersey, Mt. Laurel, United States: first topless beach vacation
Zuid-holland, The Hague, Netherlands: beach sunbathing topless naked
New York, Brooklyn, United States: nude beach
Maharashtra, Mumbai, India: topless beaches Switzerland
Pennsylvania, Downingtown, United States: new jersey nude beach picture
Maine, Bar Harbor, United States: going on a topless beach for the first time
Noord-holland, Alkmaar, Netherlands: topless on the beach
Minnesota, Rochester, United States: nude photo of myself
Czech Republic: nude beaches france
California, San Francisco, United States: topless beach
Manitoba, Winkler, Canada: WILLING WOMEN GO TOPLESS
Singapore, Queenstown, Singapore: nude beach pictures
Madrid, Madrid, Spain: nude
Timis, Timisoara, Romania: nude beach pictures
Noord-holland, Amsterdam, Netherlands: beach topless
Maryland, Silver Spring, United States: nude beach
Saudi Arabia: nude beaches
Maharashtra, Mumbai, India: nude beach
Texas, Pt. Neches, United States: NUDE BEACH
Ontario, Toronto, Canada: nude beach
Scotland, Glasgow, United Kingdom: CLEVAGE
Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, United States: nude photo blogs
Lombardia, Cremona, Italy: TOPLESS BEACH
New Jersey, Thorofare, United States: nude beach
Germany: nude beach
California, Cupertino, United States: nude beach
Wilayah Persekutuan, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia: nude beach picture
Texas, Pt. Neches, United States: french nude beaches
Massachusetts, North Chelmsford, United States: nude beach
Italy: topless beach
Wisconsin, Milwaukee, United States: nude beach
Italy: topless at the beach
Wilayah Persekutuan, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia: nude blog
Argentina: nude beach
North Carolina, Fuquay Varina, United States: sunbathing topless
Maharashtra, Mumbai, India: nude beaches
Florida, Lake City, United States: clevage
Ontario, Ottawa, Canada: nude beach
Illinois, Springfield, United States: beach sexy france
New York, New York, United States: topless men
New Jersey, Mt. Laurel, United States: topless beach stories
Maale, Male, Maldives: naked beaches
Massachusetts, Plymouth, United States: topless beach stories&
New Jersey, Bayville, United States: nude beaches nj
New York, New York, United States: nude sunbathing mom son
North Carolina, Raleigh, United States: topless european beach pictures
Victoria, Ballarat, Australia: mens bathers france
Victoria, Melbourne, Australia: topless bathers
United Kingdom: topless beach stories
England, London, United Kingdom: french nude beach
Bashkortostan, Ufa, Russian Federation: sand beach naked
Baden-wurttemberg, Freiburg Im Breisgau, Germany: MET nude beach
New Jersey, Mt. Laurel, United States: nude beach topless
Washington, Spokane, United States: french nude beaches
England, London, United Kingdom: french beach topless women photo
New South Wales, Tamworth, Australia: topless river seine
Victoria, Melbourne, Australia: topless bathers
New South Wales, Sydney, Australia: topless beach germany
Cote D'ivoire: nude beach
Baden-wurttemberg, Stuttgart, Germany: topless beach
England, Nottingham, United Kingdom: topless native women
Cork, Cork, Ireland: my first time topless on a beach
California, Berkeley, United States: blogspot and nude
Mauritius: artful erotic nude photos
New Jersey, Livingston, United States: "my bikini" "in africa" me
Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh, United States: topless beaches
New York, Clifton Park, United States: FIRST TIME TOPLESS
Pennsylvania, York, United States: topless beach first time
Oost-vlaanderen, Gent, Belgium: nude beach family
Washington, Gig Harbor, United States: topless beach germany
Dublin, Dublin, Ireland: stories of topless beaches
United Arab Emirates: nude blog
Slovakia: nudity blogspot
United Kingdom: my husband took these photos of me sunbathing naked
New York, Bronx, United States: nude beach nj
Pennsylvania, Allentown, United States: women who like to go topless
Canada: topless beach
United States: naked on beach in front of husband
India: topless tourists in american beaches
Philippines: nude site:blogspot.com
England, London, United Kingdom: topless france
Florida, Tampa, United States: stories "nude beach"
Georgia, Atlanta, United States: topless sunbathe
New South Wales, Sydney, Australia: nudie pics of men and women
Maryland, Baltimore, United States: france sunbathing topless women photos
Oregon, Portland, United States: sunbathe topless
Michigan, Grand Rapids, United States: nude beach
Antwerpen, Antwerp, Belgium: topless beach france
Ontario, Ottawa, Canada: nude beach photo
Washington, Bellingham, United States: bikini topless beach
Gauteng, Johannesburg, South Africa: nude beach
Central, Colombo, Sri Lanka: nude beach
Canada: NUdity in front of
Paraná, Curitiba, Brazil: nude
Minnesota, St. Paul, United States: nude beach
Tamil Nadu, Chennai, India: nude on beach
Piemonte, Torino, Italy: topless beach
Ohio, Cincinnati, United States: clevage
Indonesia: nude beach
Wilayah Persekutuan, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia: woman sunbathing
Ontario, Toronto, Canada: topless sunbathing
Karnataka, Bangalore, India: topless beach photos
Alberta, Calgary, Canada: topless beaches
Ontario, Toronto, Canada: topless sunbathing
Michigan, Detroit, United States: nude beach
Budapest, Budapest, Hungary: nude beach
Greece: sunbathe topless
Texas, Midland, United States: nude beach
Singapore, Singapore, Singapore: nude beach naked
New York, Brooklyn, United States: nude beaches
Leningradskaya Oblast', Vyborg, Russian Federation: beach nude
South Africa: nude beach
California, Chico, United States: nude beaches
New York, Rosedale, United States: nude beach
Minnesota, Minneapolis, United States: nude beach
Dublin, Dublin, Ireland: german sunbathing
Idaho, Boise, United States: beach topless
United States: nude beach
Texas, Dallas, United States: nude beach
New Jersey, Princeton, United States: skinny dipping holes in arizona
Noord-holland, Amsterdam, Netherlands: topless
Virginia, Herndon, United States: nude beaches
United States: nude beach
England, London, United Kingdom: topless sunbathing experiences
Tennessee, Jackson, United States: nude
Singapore, Singapore, Singapore: nude
Michigan, Grosse Ile, United States: topless
Delhi, New Delhi, India: nude
Ohio, Cleveland, United States: nude
California, Elk Grove, United States: nude
Thailand: nude
Karnataka, Bangalore, India: nude
Turkey: nude
Indonesia: nude
Tamil Nadu, Chennai, India: nude
Virginia, Herndon, United States: nude
Ohio, Akron, United States: nude
Philippines: nude
Singapore: nude
Western Australia, Perth, Australia: bikini photo
Wilayah Persekutuan, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia: nude
New Zealand: nude
India: nude
United Arab Emirates: nude
Australia: nude
Georgia, Atlanta, United States: nude
Dubai, Dubai, United Arab Emirates: nude
Alabama, Birmingham, United States: nude
Tamil Nadu, Chennai, India: nude
Pennsylvania, Erie, United States: nude
Maharashtra, Mumbai, India: nude
Hong Kong, Hong Kong, Hong Kong: nude
Wisconsin, Milwaukee, United States: topless on the beach
United States: nude erotica
Ontario, Toronto, Canada: nude beach
England, London, United Kingdom: nude
New York, Wellsville, United States: nude
Shandong, Shandong, China: nude
United Arab Emirates: sexy photo blogs
Stockholm, Stockholm, Sweden: topless sunbathing
Ad Dawhah, Doha, Qatar: nude
Karnataka, Bangalore, India: nude
North Carolina, Chapel Hill: nude
New Jersey, Mt. Laurel, United States: nude
Missouri, Springfield, United States: nude
Ontario, Toronto, Canada: nude
Wisconsin, Madison, United States: nude
Krung Thep Mahanakhon, Bangkok, Thailand: nude
Georgia, Columbus, United States: nude
Georgia, Athens, United States: nude
India: beach nude pic
New Jersey, Jersey City, United States: nude
India: nude
Lombardia, Como, Italy: topless
Massachusetts, Natick: erotic writings
Italy: topless vacation
England, London, United Kingdom: topless beach site
Ontario, Toronto, Canada: nude beaches
Connecticut, Manchester, United States: nude
Georgia, Atlanta, United States: nude beach
New York, Brooklyn, United States: NUDE PICTURE
Wilayah Persekutuan, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia: naked in bar
British Columbia, Nanaimo, Canada: CLEVAGE
New Jersey, New Egypt, United States: nude beaches
Maharashtra, Mumbai, India: nude
Jawa Timur (djawa Timur), Surabaya, Indonesia: nude
England, Milton Keynes, United Kingdom: sexy marseilles beaches
Illinois, Elmhurst, United States: nude beaches
Tel Aviv, Tel Aviv, Israel: erotic nude art pic
New York, Astoria, United States: nude beach
Louisiana, New Orleans, United States: nude beaches
Scotland, Glasgow, United Kingdom: letters erotica
Wisconsin, Madison, United States: nude beaches
California, San Jose, United States: nude beach
Provence-alpes-cote D'azur, Marseille, France: men's nude
Washington, Gig Harbor, United States: dressing provocatively
New Jersey, Livingston, United States: topless expat me
New Jersey, Livingston, United States: nude site
California, Pine Grove, United States: Beach topless
New South Wales, Sydney, Australia: nude beaches
Lazio, Rome, Italy: topless
Nebraska, Lincoln, United States: nude beach
England, London, United Kingdom: nude beach
Oklahoma, Tulsa, United States: topless bikini bottom
Nordrhein-westfalen, Dortmund, Germany: NUDE BEACHES
Virginia, Martinsville, United States: beach nude
Michigan, Troy, United States: nude beach photos
Nord-pas-de-calais, Lille, France: men nude beach
New Jersey, Edison, United States: sexy beaches
California, Azusa, United States: nude beach
United Kingdom: topless first beach
Ile-de-france, Paris, France: nude beach
Colorado, Denver, United States: topless beaches
'amman, Amman, Jordan: nude beach pictures
Indonesia: beach nude photo
Ohio, Cleveland, United States: nude beach
Czech Republic: topless beach
Ohio, Cleveland, United States: nude beach
Washington, Seattle, United States: nude photo
Idaho, Boise, United States: female clevage
Massachusetts, Boston, United States: nude beach gay blogspot
Italy: topless
Quebec, Montreal, Canada: men topless
Maine, Yarmouth, United States: topless beaches
New Jersey, Bayonne, United States: topless
Ohio, Cleveland, United States: nude beach photos
California, Tehachapi, United States: nude beach photos
Maharashtra, Mumbai, India: nude beach
Hessen, Ruesselsheim, Germany: topless
Antwerpen, Antwerp, Belgium: beach topless
Italy: my nude
Italy: photo sexy beach
Nebraska, Omaha, United States: nude beaches
California, Tujunga, United States: point dume nude beach
California, Riverside, United States: nude beach
United States: nude beaches
Oregon, Portland, United States: nude beach
Oklahoma, Tulsa, United States: topless bikini
Dubai, Dubai, United Arab Emirates: beach topless
British Columbia, Victoria, Canada: nude beach photo
California, Los Angeles, United States: topless point dume
Dubai, Dubai, United Arab Emirates: nude beach
Gujarat, Surat, India: nude photo
District Of Columbia, Washington, United States: nude beaches
England, London, United Kingdom: beach nude picture
Delhi, New Delhi, India: topless beaches
England, London, United Kingdom: naturist beaches in france
Egypt: nude photo
Sardegna, Sassari, Italy: beach topless
District Of Columbia, Washington, United States: nude beach pictures
Gujarat, Ahmedabad, India: Nude beach pictures
Canterbury, Christchurch, New Zealand: Topless bathers pictures
California, Rancho Cucamonga, United States: nude beach
Alabama, Mobile, United States: men gay beach
Illinois, Aledo, United States: nude beach
New Jersey, Teterboro, United States: sexy beach
Serbia And Montenegro: nude beach
Italy: nude beach
New York, New York, United States: nude beach expat
Minnesota, Rochester, United States: nude beach
British Columbia, Victoria, Canada: nude beach
Akershus, Jessheim, Norway: nude walks
Indiana, Lafayette, United States: nude beach
Mississippi, Starkville, United States: nude beach
Morocco: nude
Uttar Pradesh, Lucknow, India: women in nude beach
Oslo, Oslo, Norway: nude beach
Georgia, Atlanta, United States: nude beach
Leningradskaya Oblast', Vyborg, Russian Federation: topless beach
Wisconsin, Madison, United States: nude photo blog
Utah, Salt Lake City, United States: sexy photo
England, London, United Kingdom: woods nude
Lombardia, Cremona, Italy: TOPLESS BEACH
Greece: nude beach
United States: nude beach
Istanbul, Istanbul, Turkey: beach topless pictures site
Ontario, Oakville, Canada: naked in cozumel
New York, Newburgh, United States: nude beaches
Idaho, Paul, United States: vacation topless "great time"
England, London, United Kingdom: brittany nude beaches
New Jersey, Bridgewater, United States: go topless
Spain: nude beach fun
New South Wales, Sydney, Australia: native topless
United Kingdom: erotic pictures
Maharashtra, Pune, India: topless bather
England, Stockport, United Kingdom: italy topless beach
United Arab Emirates: naked people
Maharashtra, Thane, India: nude sunbathing
Tokyo, Tokyo, Japan: aquitaine beach topless
Denmark: italy beach swimsuit topless
Ohio, Cincinnati, United States: SWISS NUDIST RESORTS
Ontario, Kitchener, Canada: sexy mormon women
Antwerpen, Antwerp, Belgium: TOPLESS BEACH GOERS
Australian Capital Territory, Canberra, Australia: guys bathers
Western Cape, Cape Town, South Africa: shy at topless beach stories
Kansas, Wichita, United States: first time nude beach
Oregon, Portland, United States: secluded topless beaches
Gauteng, Johannesburg, South Africa: topless bathers pics
Budapest, Budapest, Hungary: topless on the beach
England, Manchester, United Kingdom: friends bikini naked undressed beach people
Pennsylvania, West Chester, United States: going topless beach first time
United Kingdom: women sunbathing topless on the beach pics
Ohio, Chillicothe, United States: topless beaches switzerland
New York, New York, United States: we went to a topless beach
Northern Ireland, Belfast, United Kingdom: topless women on beach
Texas, Plano, United States: topless beach shy "first time"
Florida, Tarpon Springs, United States: foreign beaches nude vacation
Hawaii, Honolulu, United States: nude byu students pictures
New York, Great Neck, United States: nude leftist
Dubai, Dubai, United Arab Emirates: girls with nude attitude in beaches
Michigan, Detroit, United States: european topless beaches
Nebraska, Norfolk, United States: naked beach goers
Gibraltar: first time beach topless
Australia: europe nude beach
Kyonggi-do, Seoul, Korea, Republic Of: U.S.Nude Beaches
Massachusetts, Boston, United States: where can women go topless
Colorado, Aurora, United States: topless beaches vacations
England, Manchester, United Kingdom: topless beach
New Jersey, Livingston, United States: i went to a nude beach
Wien, Vienna, Austria: france south topless beach
California, Oceanside, United States: went to a nude beach
Wisconsin, Milwaukee, United States: topless beach bathers
Kansas, Olathe, United States: vacation nude beach first time story
Georgia, Norcross, United States: woman sunbathing nude
Poland: french nude beach
Ontario, Toronto, Canada: gay nude beaches italy
California, San Francisco, United States: topless france
Toscana, Florence, Italy: bare breasts beach top bikini topless
California, Los Angeles, United States: NUDE FRENCH BEACHES
Texas, Plano, United States: topless at the beach
England, Nottingham, United Kingdom: men watching woman on topless beach
Virginia, Wise, United States: mormon topless
Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh, United States: nude beaches
British Columbia, Surrey, Canada: topless beach pictures
Texas, San Antonio, United States: topless beach first time
South Carolina, Greenville, United States: german topless beaches
New Jersey, Clementon, United States: "topless beaches" italy
Canada: topless beach
Nebraska, Omaha, United States: orange beach naked
Gauteng, Johannesburg, South Africa: topless beach pics
Australian Capital Territory, Canberra, Australia: she went topless at the beach
Ha Noi, Hanoi, Viet Nam: a nude photo of myself
Colorado, Ft. Collins, United States: lets go topless
United States: skinny-dipping and nude sunbathing along the American River
New Zealand: rebecca loose beach nude photos
South Carolina, Sumter, United States: topless women on the beach
Georgia, Savannah, United States: topless beaches
California, La Quinta, United States: French topless bathers
British Columbia, Kelowna, Canada: Women on French Beaches
Michigan, Grand Rapids, United States: european nude beaches
Texas, Ft. Worth, United States: topless beaches
California, Long Beach, United States: photos of topless beaches europe
Ohio, Cincinnati, United States: naked people france
Coimbra, Coimbra, Portugal: brits topless
Arizona, Tucson, United States: topless seine
New York, Clifton Park, United States: topless beaches france
Ontario, Hamilton, Canada: topless beaches
Massachusetts, Boston, United States: first time topless beach
California, San Diego, United States: pretty nude beaches
Germany: topless beach
Maharashtra, Mumbai, India: topless beach culture
Delhi, Delhi, India: Germany topless beach
Tasmania, Devonport, Australia: topless bathers
Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh, United States: going topless at the beach
New York, Rego Park, United States: love nude beaches
New Jersey, Jersey City, United States: topless broad
British Columbia, Richmond, Canada: go naked beach photos
British Columbia, Surrey, Canada: partially nude photos taken on vacations with my wife
England, London, United Kingdom: camping france beach nude
Toscana, Florence, Italy: topless shy beach&hl
Florida, Englewood, United States: topless beach
New York, New Hyde Park, United States: going topless for husband
England, London, United Kingdom: first time topless
England, London, United Kingdom: nudist beaches s.w. france
New York, New York, United States: Go topless at the beach
Florida, Merritt Island, United States: topless beach stories
Manitoba, Brandon, Canada: nude beaches
Texas, Houston, United States: Orange Beach Topless
Switzerland: great topless bikini beach
Colorado, Colorado Springs, United States: see me topless
Texas, Texarkana, United States: nude ex-mormon
England, London, United Kingdom: topless english beach
Wellington, Wellington, New Zealand: topless on the beach
Ireland: nude beach france brittany
Idaho, Boise, United States: mormon nudes
Spain: blogspot beach nude
England, Manchester, United Kingdom: Mediterranean beach naked
Massachusetts, Boston, United States: first time on topless beach
New York, Rochester, United States: naked mormons
New York, Rochester, United States: europe sunbathe topless
New York, Bronx, United States: nude beaches
Florida, Inverness, United States: europe sunbathe topless
Iowa, Knoxville, United States: topless beach AND first time
Washington, Seattle, United States: french topless bathers
Nordrhein-westfalen, Dortmund, Germany: beach france nude
New Jersey, Denville, United States: european women sunbathe nude at beach
Ontario, Hamilton, Canada: nude beach fun
Portugal: topless at the beach
Bahamas: topless boats
New York, Bronx, United States: GAY NUDE HIKING BLOG
Germany: beach topless
Ile-de-france, Paris, France: beach women topless
Ontario, Toronto, Canada: naked beach bikini blogspot
Georgia, Atlanta, United States: topless stories beach
Washington, Snohomish, United States: europe beach topless
Nairobi Area, Nairobi, Kenya: Women topless dressing
California, Desert Hot Springs, United States: woman topless parade goers
New Jersey, Mt. Laurel, United States: Female topless cultures
Alberta, Edmonton, Canada: swiss naked people beach
Delhi, Delhi, India: topless females on beach
Ohio, Canton, United States: topless females on beaches
New York, Rochester, United States: first time topless beach
New Zealand: freckle face nudes
Maryland, Germantown, United States: topless surfing
Florida, Ft. Myers, United States: nudes, back view
India: Nude beaches
Hong Kong (sar), Hong Kong, Hong Kong: aquitaine beach nude
Ontario, Windsor, Canada: nude beaches thongs
Oklahoma, Tulsa, United States: italy topless beach pictures
Malta, Luqa, Malta: topless blogspot
Alabama, Birmingham, United States: nude people letters
England, London, United Kingdom: my first topless swim
Virginia, Richmond, United States: marseille beach topless
Qslo, Oslo, Norway: sunbathing nudes
Saskatchewan, Saskatoon, Canada: Nude Beaches
Nova Scotia, Halifax, Canada: real nude beach
New Jersey, Cherry Hill, United States: topless beach blog
Pennsylvania, Scranton, United States: first time topless beach
Nordrhein-westfalen, Dusseldorf, Germany: nude beach france aquitaine
Dubai, Dubai, United Arab Emirates: female beach valley ball
Brazil: TOPLES IM THE BEACH
Norway: topless woman on beach
Massachusetts, Hull, United States: topless beaches of france photos
Toscana, Florence, Italy: beach vacation topless husband bare breasts top bikini
England, London, United Kingdom: female first beach topless
Maharashtra, Mumbai, India: topless females on the beach
United States: topless mormon
Dublin, Dublin, Ireland: topless beach fun
Grad Zagreb, Zagreb, Croatia: erotica picture
New York, Brooklyn, United States: nude beach goers
Ile-de-france, Paris, France: why the French women are topless with the beach
Texas, Houston, United States: pictures of German women culture for them going topless
South Africa: almost nude beaches
Georgia, Atlanta, United States: straight guys on nude beach
Saudi Arabia: nude beach blogspot
New York, Syracuse, United States: family nude beaches
Utah, Orem, United States: naked mormon men
New Jersey, Livingston, United States: europe beach topless
Georgia, Norcross, United States: nude beach story
New York, New Hyde Park, United States: going topless on the beach
Ontario, Brampton, Canada: topless beach vacation
New York, West Point, United States: topless beach culture europe
Zuid-holland, The Hague, Netherlands: vacation topless
Missouri, Kansas City, United States: nudist resort OR beach "being naked"
District Of Columbia, Washington, United States: Do women go topless on French beaches
Australia: European women commonly go topless on beaches
Wisconsin, La Crosse, United States: naked people letters

One of the funniest things is how many people want to see naked people in other countries. Also, it's interesting how many people are interested in stories of people's first time at the nude beach, especially if they're shy about it. That's kind of a cute erotic fantasy. I should write a story about that -- I'm sure I could come up with something good...

Also, I love the way the one from Boise, Idaho specifies female clevage. Don't you just hate it when you do a blog search on clevage and it turns up pictures of some guy's butt clevage? lol!!! Precision, people!!! ;-)

This isn't nearly all of them either. My stats program doesn't send me the complete logs, so I had to copy/paste all of these by hand, and I missed a lot of them. As devoted as I am to anthropology, I actually got bored of copying these after a while...

Now I'm certain that every single one of these people clicked on my blog in hopes of finding a sexy picture of me. (Yes, I'm just that sexy!!! No, really!!! ;-) )

Unfortunately I don't have all that many, but I didn't want to disappoint you all, so I dug through my files and found this picture of me at the pool:



See that bikini clad blonde with the fabulous tan up on the platform?

That's not me. I'm the pasty-white lady in the foreground holding a toddler...

A confused nude walks in to a bar...

On a personal note, all of that heated discussion of pornography and sexual desire has made it clear to me that I'm not merely a "consensus seeker who dislikes conflict." It turns out I'm terrified of conflict, and of being in the thick of it.

It's weird because it really doesn't bother me if people disagree with me or dislike me. When I hear of people talking about me behind my back, I usually just think it's cool: it means that whatever else you can say about me, at least I'm not boring... ;-)

But for some reason open conflict where people are angry at me completely unnerves me; I can't handle it.

So maybe my usual attitude of "You believe what you believe, I'll believe what I believe, and let's not fight about it," isn't really motivated by rational detachment as much as it is motivated by some sort of neurosis.

Over the weekend I was worrying about whether I should go through with the amusing follow-up I'd planned for my posts Yes means yes and A feminist in favor of porn?:

I have a nude photo of myself from when I was twenty. I don't know if it's erotic -- it's a tasteful, partially-obscured, back view nude in the woods, probably less sexy (or maybe less revealing?) than my bikini photo (taken during my recent vacation that inspired my discussion of going topless on the beach, nude sunbathing, etc.), and I was thinking of posting the nude picture to my blog.

(Not as an inline photo -- I would upload it elsewhere and link to it like I did with my Naked People at Rutgers comics.)

The funny thing is that I've posted this nude photo to the Internet more than once just for fun, yet I hesitate to post it as a political statement about women and erotica. I'm not sure why, but I have this inexplicable feeling that something bad will happen.

Of course maybe something bad really would happen, like blogger deleting my blog. Which is why in the end I've decided to hold off on this proposed bit of performance art until I get my own separate website -- one where I'm more confident my writings won't go the way of JLO's...

The other funny thing is that for weeks I've been planning a post about why I love the Internet, and one of the points I was going to highlight was how much more confident and assertive I am because of my experience with Internet forums and blogging. But maybe I haven't really changed that much since the days when I felt traumatized by people jeering me at a political rally.

I know this whole post is a bunch of silly navel-gazing, but like La and so many others, I'm in this blogging thing for the self-discovery. :D

So if anyone's looking for me, tell them I'm off somewhere calmly re-reading Susie Sexpert's Lesbian Sex World.

A feminist in favor of porn? Is that possible?

When I finished writing my earlier piece on porn (Yes means yes), I looked at the statement "I am in favor of porn" and thought: "Gosh, that's an awfully strong statement -- maybe I should change it to 'I am not opposed to porn.'"

After all, take a look at the "Playboy attitude" that tells men that the good life is to be part of a boys' club that doesn't treat women as equals. Isn't it obvious that that's degrading to women?

But not all porn has the same theme and style. If you don't like the attitude of Playboy for example, it's not as if Hugh Hefner invented porn.

Yet, if some porn promotes a negative attitude towards women, why favor porn? Why not just be indifferent towards it?

Because looking at the evidence, I am absolutely convinced that porn decreases hostility towards women, increases acceptance of women's sexual autonomy, and makes ordinary women safer.

Here's a simple example that you have seen in your own lifetime.

Since the appearance of the Internet, there has been a massive increase in porn consumption in the US. There has been a phenomenal explosion not only in the amount of porn consumed but also in the proportion of the population that consumes porn regularly. Now where is the corresponding increase in the number of rapes? There is none. Indeed, rape has decreased significantly in the US over the same period. So even though this isn't proof that porn prevents rape, it certainly demonstrates that porn does not cause rape. It shows that increased availability of pornography doesn't lead to more danger for the average woman on the street.

I lifted that example from this article where the author showed that rape decreased the most -- by a wide margin -- in places with the most Internet access. And we all know what's on the Internet. (Note that the Feminist Law Profs have provided a critique of this argument.)

It's just a correlation, but this inverse correlation between porn and rape is strong enough that it's worth at least asking ourselves if maybe there's something to it. At the very least, it's compelling enough that -- if our real goal here is for women to be safer -- it warrants seriously re-analyzing the current feminist orthodoxy on the relationship between pornography and rape.

And really, I think it's perfectly reasonable to expect that porn consumption would decrease a man's inclination to commit rape for one big reason:

Positive erotic materials train males to make a strong distinction between wanted and unwanted sexual contact.

Traditional religious training teaches young men the following: that acting on their sexual impulses is bad in all circumstances (until marriage at some distant, indefinite point in the future). Indeed, even having such urges is a moral failing. No woman worth having wants to have sex -- those who consent are worthless trash.

The resulting sexual frustration can lead to feelings of shame, anger, and hostility, often directed at women in general as they are the focus of the thwarted desire. This mindset can lead to rape and other abuses.

(Note, I'm just talking about straight males here -- gay male sexuality is a completely different discussion.)

This model creates a climate where sexual release is always bad -- the woman's consent (or lack thereof) is irrelevant.

In theory, if males could be trained to completely suppress their sexual urges and feel aroused only on cue, that would solve the problem. However that is quite impossible. Aiming for that ideal creates a situation where occasionally the dam is going to break, and when it does, the stage is already set to interpret a lack of an explicit "no" as a "yes" and to see an explicit "no" as unimportant.

A constructive alternative is to provide a positive message about sex. Spread the word that sexual desires are not inherently bad or wrong. There exist harmless ways of enjoying your sexuality, in particular fantasy and masturbation, possibly in conjunction with published erotic materials.

Pornography (with masturbation) gives strong positive reinforcement for the idea that there exist women who consent to sexual expression and circumstances where sexual release is harmless and good.

And why be a monster when you're given the opportunity to be a lover instead?

Topless on the beach...

During my vacation, I decided not to go topless on the beach, even though I could have if I'd wanted to.

How common is it for female beach-goers here in France to go topless?

I don't know if you're actually curious about this question or not, but since I'm not sure whether National Geographic has explored this fascinating indigenous local custom with photo spread, I've decided to do some of my own investigative reporting about it.

I've been to the beach along the Mediterranean (in Marseille) and in Brittany and now in the Aquitaine and once in a place in Africa where there were a lot of French tourists, and these beaches were all about the same in terms of what proportion of the women chose to go topless, which I would guesstimate at around ten percent, maybe less.

Now you may be wondering if these are these the same people that you would like to see with their shirts off, orientation permitting.

To me it seems to be more or less a cross-section. The decision to bear half seems to be more a function of the woman's own comfort level than of her hotness-or-notness. (Okay, I know that's not really a word, but you understood it, didn't you? So let's go with it.)

The next thing you're probably wondering is "Chanson, did you really look at all of these women (in a polite, discrete, and non-staring manner) so that you could discuss your impressions with everyone?"

The answer is that indeed I did. As an expat, I have an important role of cultural exchange to carry out, and I take that role very seriously.

(Well, "seriously" is maybe the wrong word here, but I think you know what I mean.)

In my case, when I chose to wear the top half of my bikini, I took my own comfort level into account, and I took my husband's comfort level into account as well. He's happy to see me dress in an attractive manner, even sexy, but within some limits (in public).

This isn't a big deal to me. If it were, I could always have stuck with my first husband, who was willing to go along with me when I decided I wanted to try going to the nude beach. When I started my relationship with my only true husband (sorry, no offense previous husband!), he wasn't quite as game for the whole nude beach thing. We joked around about the possibility a bit, but it was pretty clear that he was not into it. That's okay -- it was fun, but not incredibly important.

If any feminists have actually read all the way to this point, you might be thinking it's bad -- or at least questionable -- that I would admit to dressing for a man's comfort as much as for my own. However, by agreeing to be monogamous, I'm in a sense allowing a man to control my sexuality. So if you're okay with monogamy and know anything about how relationships work in practice, you know there's some gray area that a couple has to deal with regarding what both partners are comfortable doing with other people. And the way people dress (especially women) naturally has sexual connotations.

It's kind of unfortunate that men typically get to dress for their own comfort whereas women generally end up dressing for the comfort of men, whether they're actively dressing "modestly" (to avoid making males feel uncomfortable about their own sexual feelings and judging women accordingly) or whether they're dressing provocatively (in order to attract).

Part of the reason men don't have to take the female gaze into account when they dress is that women aren't really looking at them, at least not nearly so much and not in the same way.

My older brother (who is gay) has argued that one reason straight men are so sloppy is because straight women aren't picky enough about a man's look, and straight guys would clean up their act if it made any real difference in their romantic and sexual prospects. Maybe that's true, but maybe straight women and gay men aren't really attracted to the same sorts of things, or maybe gay men are just naturally more fabulous on average than straight men. It's hard to say.

Anyway, it probably seems pretty absurd for me to be talking about "modesty" in terms of whether to wear a bikini or just the bottom half of a bikini. It's not like I'm being asked to wear a burqa or something. But it's interesting how the concept of "modesty" isn't really absolute -- it's relative to culture and cultural norms.

And it's always entertaining to watch what happens in places where cultures mix. I remember one time I saw a woman sunbathing topless along the side of the Seine right in the middle of Paris. The funny part was all of the (young male) foreign tourists interested in getting a look and taking pictures. This is the main reason I would not sunbathe topless in the middle of Paris. As much as I like to support the French tourism industry, I'm not sure I want to be one of the colorful local sights people are excitedly writing home about.

So, in case you missed it (being distracted by thoughts of naked people), the hidden discussion topic (for feminists) is the following:

"Modesty": is it all about dressing for the comfort of males, and hence just the flip side of deliberately dressing sexy for men's sake? Discuss!

Either that or else please recount your own entertaining experiences on nude or topless beaches. :D

Naked People at Rutgers II

Today's blog entry is the exciting conclusion of "Naked People at Rutgers" (The first installment was posted here).

I'm not sure why I stopped drawing this comic strip after the second episode, but I think it was probably just that I ran out ideas. Basically, the whole point of the comic is "See? They're naked!!! Hahahahahahahahaha!!!"

I was able to milk that for two strips worth of material.

In today's installment, they run for student government. Before clicking on the logo below, remember that there's cartoon nudity in every panel!!!

Naked People at Rutgers

When I was a grad student at Rutgers, I drew a comic strip for the student comics paper John Doe Comics. My strip was called "Naked People at Rutgers."

There were only two installments, and it wasn't terribly funny, but it featured full-frontal nudity in every panel!!! :D

The premise was that my main characters were transfer students representing a "clothing optional culture" (in California).

Click on the logo to see episode 1:



Note that I gave myself a cameo role in the above comic strip. The girl attempting to teach the nudists Calculus in the second-to-last panel is me.