Along the same lines as the puzzling queries from June, my latest queriers have been looking for some rather strange and obscure information. Some of these odd requests are actually relevant to stuff I've written about! Others, not so much.
But -- in my endless quest to provide a valuable, blogtastic public service -- I will answer them here for you!! As usual (see here, here, here, here, here, and here) all are real, unedited search queries that people typed in to land on my blog.
Q: what are the chances of me living in a parallel universe
A: Parallel to what? Parallel to the "real" universe? Or to something else?
I suppose that if parallel universes exist, then the universe you're in may be parallel to one of them, hence your universe would be parallel to it. (I'm not speaking for my own universe though.) Also, don't rule out living in a perpendicular universe!
Q: whale mating porn video
A: See, this is kind of an obscure one, and yet I've written about it twice, here and here. Since those two posts, I've actually seen another David Attenborough film that featured an extended group-whale-sex scene with multiple male whales simultaneously attempting to mate with a female. I'm sorry I don't remember the name of the film. Also -- for future reference -- when the mating scene involves only non-human animals, it's not called a "porn video," it's called a "nature documentary."
Q: why grammar rules??
A: They give the pedantic something to do.
Q: lds stories of overcoming challenges in are lives
A: Challenges like... homonym impairment? (I know, that's too easy and kinda conflicts with my previous answer, but I'm going to go with it.)
Q: abigail van buren teen nudity
A: Now that's obscurity for you! I don't recall having reviewed Erotic Stories from the Lives of the First Ladies.
At least that's what I was thinking until it hit me that Martin Van Buren's wife was actually named "Hannah" and "Abigail Van Buren" is the advice columnist "Dear Abby." It's very possible that Dear Abby has written about teen nudity -- I wouldn't know since I haven't read her column since I was a teen myself. But don't write to her, write to me! Via Google!
Q: essay on picnic in swimming pool
A: It is not a good idea to have a picnic in a swimming pool because it gets the food all wet and chlorine-y, not to mention yuckifying the pool water. The End.
Q: does south pole exists
A: Well, there's not really a candy-striped pole (like they have near Santa's at the North Pole), but there is indeed a point where the Earth's rotational axis intersects the surface of Antarctica.
Q: don't want to go on mission lds
A: I'm totally with you on this one. As much as I hated the sexism of the LDS church as a teen, this was one point where I really appreciated the sexism. Even at my most faithful, I couldn't understand why any woman would choose to go on a mission since they're not obligated to do it. To me, it was like God said He'd appreciate it if you'd show your faithfulness by poking your eye out with a fork, but He wouldn't be disappointed if you choose not to do it. I was like, "OK, I won't then." But that's just me.
Q: are you allowed on a lds mission if you have had sex
A: It depends. If you're going on one of those "retired couple" missions, you're actually allowed to have sex while on your mission! It seems a shame, really, since the young ones are more likely to appreciate the privilege.
However, I assume you're talking about those young, clean-cut guys in their Mr. Mac suits -- can they really all be virgins??? You can get in trouble just thinking about it!
Since they changed the rules a few years ago ("raising the bar"), I think that having had sex (even after repentance) may disqualify a young person from serving a mission, but it probably depends on the local leaders and on how convincingly penitent the prospective missionary is. Also I hear that some lie about this in order to be allowed to go. Mystifying but true!
Q: mormon erotic stories
A: Please see the Gratuitious Love Scene, or -- if you prefer gay missionary stories -- see Missions, Mothers, & Marriage.
Q: my wife is naked
A: Then what the hell are you doing wasting your time on the Internet?
*** Actually this is kind of leading towards the non-obscure, most popular search query topic! ***
Q: i dont mind my sis nude in beach
A: That's very noble of you.
Q: how to get your girlfriend topless on beach
Q: wife wants to tan topless
Q: wife won't go topless
Q: wife topless beach
Q: let wife go nude on beach ?
Q: i encourage my wife to sunbathe topless
A: This seems to be an extremely common conundrum! Some men want their wives/girlfriends to sunbathe nude or topless, others can't decide whether they want that or not. It's just too bad that I don't seem to attract nearly as many queries from women about whether/why they'd like to sunbathe topless -- we could have a summit on the subject! I suspect women don't spend nearly as much time thinking about it, though...
I know, I know, I'm just assuming that the above are queries from men, when some of them might be from lesbians. I still think that it's a safe bet that most of them are from men. The only nude beach query I've gotten lately that I'd bet is from a woman is this one:
Q: is portsmouth nude beach full of old men
A: I have no idea. Why not check it out and report back? :D
The Adventures of a Friendly French-American ExMormon Atheist Mom Living in Switzerland!!!
Showing posts sorted by date for query search queries. Sort by relevance Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by date for query search queries. Sort by relevance Show all posts
Monday, August 24, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Search query puzzlers!
I've been trying to restrain myself from doing too many search query posts ever since Felicia said it was a cliché. Admittedly, Andrew did one since then, helping to increase the coolness factor a little bit. But the trouble is that I've recently gotten a bunch of search queries that have stumped even me! So, I have no choice but to post them and see if any of you have any answers for these poor, unfortunate queriers:
Q: suicidal beached whales verses mass murderers
A: Sorry, what?? Are you asking which would win? Uh... both..?
Q: verb tenses had better make an effort
A: D'oh!! You found a verb construction I missed in my million English verb tenses and moods, illustrated dialog! And what the hell kind of construction is "had better" anyway?
Q: the name of an aspect of something used to refer to the whole thing, such as when alcohol is called the bottle
A: Man, I don't remember the word for that, either. I'm really on a roll here when it comes to High School English class. Now I know you guys are going to say "Wikipedia!" or "google it!" but what do I look it up under? If I type that description into google, it'll just land me back here, and you can see how much help that will be...
Q: do brilliant women have beautiful pussies and loving attitudes?
A: I dunno. Probably some do, but I haven't seen any studies on it or anything.
Q: lourdes - places to go besides church
A: lol, good luck! You can try playing the game of who can find the tackiest souvenir, but aside from that and church, there's not much else. Maybe consider a change of destination? Unless somebody here knows of something non-churchy in Lourdes...
Q: i love the fountain and i'm an atheist
A: See, this one I really don't get. What fountain? And what does it have to do with being an atheist?
Q: should a blogger post a personal picture of himself?
A: I say yes, but I know there's some disagreement on this one! :D
Q: what is better place to live in swiss or india
A: I've never lived in India, so I can't really judge. I could ask some of my colleagues who are from India. I mean, I could have if I hadn't quit my job the other day (in anticipation of temporarily moving back to the U.S.). Sorry!
Q: how can i know if the church is true mormon intellectual
A: Again, this one is a little tricky to parse, but I suppose the querier is looking for a proof that the LDS church is true, one that would convince a Mormon intellectual. Well, querier, you've come to the wrong place for that!
Q: why are mormons so into scrapbooking
A: Another philosophical question about Mormons! Mormons really like creative handicrafts, and scrapbooking is particularly fun for SAHMs because of the tie-in with family activities. That, and the fabulous possibilities for scrapbooking-supplies MLMs.
(Oops, I answered that last one myself. C'est la vie.)
Q: suicidal beached whales verses mass murderers
A: Sorry, what?? Are you asking which would win? Uh... both..?
Q: verb tenses had better make an effort
A: D'oh!! You found a verb construction I missed in my million English verb tenses and moods, illustrated dialog! And what the hell kind of construction is "had better" anyway?
Q: the name of an aspect of something used to refer to the whole thing, such as when alcohol is called the bottle
A: Man, I don't remember the word for that, either. I'm really on a roll here when it comes to High School English class. Now I know you guys are going to say "Wikipedia!" or "google it!" but what do I look it up under? If I type that description into google, it'll just land me back here, and you can see how much help that will be...
Q: do brilliant women have beautiful pussies and loving attitudes?
A: I dunno. Probably some do, but I haven't seen any studies on it or anything.
Q: lourdes - places to go besides church
A: lol, good luck! You can try playing the game of who can find the tackiest souvenir, but aside from that and church, there's not much else. Maybe consider a change of destination? Unless somebody here knows of something non-churchy in Lourdes...
Q: i love the fountain and i'm an atheist
A: See, this one I really don't get. What fountain? And what does it have to do with being an atheist?
Q: should a blogger post a personal picture of himself?
A: I say yes, but I know there's some disagreement on this one! :D
Q: what is better place to live in swiss or india
A: I've never lived in India, so I can't really judge. I could ask some of my colleagues who are from India. I mean, I could have if I hadn't quit my job the other day (in anticipation of temporarily moving back to the U.S.). Sorry!
Q: how can i know if the church is true mormon intellectual
A: Again, this one is a little tricky to parse, but I suppose the querier is looking for a proof that the LDS church is true, one that would convince a Mormon intellectual. Well, querier, you've come to the wrong place for that!
Q: why are mormons so into scrapbooking
A: Another philosophical question about Mormons! Mormons really like creative handicrafts, and scrapbooking is particularly fun for SAHMs because of the tie-in with family activities. That, and the fabulous possibilities for scrapbooking-supplies MLMs.
(Oops, I answered that last one myself. C'est la vie.)
Thursday, June 04, 2009
Scariest search query yet!
I often like to help people by answering the specific questions in the search queries that led them to my blog. Generally I give light-hearted, fun advice (see installments 1, 2, 2 1/2, and 3 1/2 of "Ask Chanson via Google"), but, just the other day, I got an incoming search query (landing here) from someone who could use some serious advice:
Q: if a woman accuses you of being a stalker how do you seek revenge
A: Dear querier, have you ever heard people say "living well is the best revenge"? Well, it's not just a cliché, it is absolutely true!
If you'd like to get revenge on this woman for accusing you of being a stalker, then just make her accusation look silly by proving her wrong. If you ask yourself "what would a stalker do?" you'll immediately see that you prove her wrong by not stalking her (eg. not seeking revenge). Instead, try leaving her the hell alone.
And I'm not just saying this for the sake/safety of the woman you're talking about. You personally will be happier if you drop it and move on to bigger and better things rather than obsessing over this failed relationship to the point where you do something stupid that you will regret for the rest of your life.
I know that it's hard to just forget about it and move on, but it's not impossible. I recommend starting with Finding Love 101. Good luck -- I'm sure you can do the right thing if you put your mind to it!
Q: if a woman accuses you of being a stalker how do you seek revenge
A: Dear querier, have you ever heard people say "living well is the best revenge"? Well, it's not just a cliché, it is absolutely true!
If you'd like to get revenge on this woman for accusing you of being a stalker, then just make her accusation look silly by proving her wrong. If you ask yourself "what would a stalker do?" you'll immediately see that you prove her wrong by not stalking her (eg. not seeking revenge). Instead, try leaving her the hell alone.
And I'm not just saying this for the sake/safety of the woman you're talking about. You personally will be happier if you drop it and move on to bigger and better things rather than obsessing over this failed relationship to the point where you do something stupid that you will regret for the rest of your life.
I know that it's hard to just forget about it and move on, but it's not impossible. I recommend starting with Finding Love 101. Good luck -- I'm sure you can do the right thing if you put your mind to it!
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Ask chanson via google, 3 1/2!!!
Yep, I get search queries. And, though the vast majority land on posts that answer the query in an obvious way (eg. Q: napkin art, Q: youth conference lds, Q: the mouse that didn't believe in santa, Q: southern right whale penis photo, etc.), many warrant special attention.
As in installments 1, 2, and 2 1/2, all of these are real, unaltered search queries that led people to my blog!
Q: essays on my vacation in german language
A: Ever since I put up two posts called My summer vacation essay, part 1 and 2, I started getting a ton of queries looking for summer vacation essays, presumably for school (eg. Q: free on line essay on my summer vacition, or Q: essay on my summer holidays for 2nd standad child). The weird thing, though, is how many of them specified they'd like the essay to be in French, German, or some other language. Here's a clue folks: if you'd like an essay in German, try translating the desired essay topic into German before typing it into google. Of course, the people who are clever enough to figure that out are probably doing their own homework rather than search-querying for help...
Q: how do mormons determine who is worthy
A: Mostly through interviews, especially the "temple recommend interview". Officials in the lay ministry (such as the Bishop or Stake President) interview the members individually every now and then.
Q: what is the true meaning of christmas for a kid?
A: It really depends on the kid. And even if the kid is only interested in the presents now, his/her later memories of Christmas (looking back) may have added meaning.
Q: ex-mormons feel like a slut
A: Probably some do, but not all. And, to be honest, believers may feel more guilt and shame over sexuality than exmos.
Q: exmormon fly
A: This one has me stumped. Are you asking if exmos can fly? Or whether a fly could be an exmo? Or are exmos more likely to accidentally leave their fly down or something? I'd like to help you, but you have to be more specific.
Q: my parents think i'm apostate
A: Join the club.
Q: i do not belong in byui
A: Join the club.
Q: i ran naked my wife stayed clothed
A: Join the... I mean what the...?
Q: what do most people do right after sex as far as bodily fluids
A: You see, there's this miraculous invention called a towel...
Q: ok to masturbate if wife doesnt want to have sex and mormon?
A: I think so, but you may want a second opinion. (see also: fidelity, autonomy)
Q: why do women feel threatened by their spouse masturbating
A: I think it's mostly because they worry their spouse would rather be having sex with someone else, feel they can't compete with the sexy women in photos, etc. If you'd like your wife to cut you some slack on this, I'd recommend making it clear to your wife that you love her, that you're attracted to her, that you're not wishing you could trade her in for someone else, etc., and that the masturbation is just about variety or frequency or something like that.
Q: marriage or finding girl solves the masterbation?
A: I wouldn't bank on it.
Q: mormom return missionary sisters make good wives
A: That may be true, but it depends on the individual woman and on what you're looking for in a wife.
Q: can you go to jail if you read sex stories even if they don't show no nudity
A: Why would you think you could be put in jail for reading sex stories, whether they contain nudity or not? Has someone been filling your head with such nonsense? Note: this query came in from an I.P. address in Alabama, and I assume that possession of erotica is not illegal there. It's comforting to know that the Internet is counteracting misinformation all over the world.
Some readers may notice that I kind of focus on the sex-related queries in this feature -- even though they're not the majority of the queries I get. They're some of the most interesting ones, though. It seems like people will ask google stuff that they won't ask their friends and family. In particular, people type in queries that I assume are fetishes they'd like to read titillating stories about. I hope readers won't be offended if I list some of these off as a curiosity.
Remember: I had no choice but to read these weird, perverted queries myself when they showed up in my logs, and I was shocked! Thus, I have to post them so you can see what I'm talking about. Additionally, this list may help budding erotica-writers out there by giving them some market-tested ideas to use to help people like our friend from Alabama.
Q: perverted part in the grinch
Q: white christmas gay porn
Q: mom & son nude beach photos
Q: attracted to physically strong
Q: women's topless breasts spokane
Q: sexy sister missionaries
Q: unexpected sex in public local bus
Q: moms getting wedgies
Q: look male but he female
Q: erotic stories about mormon missionaries
Q: short erotic stories, santa clause
Q: breastfeeding orgasm stories
Anyone interested in writing any of those?
As in installments 1, 2, and 2 1/2, all of these are real, unaltered search queries that led people to my blog!
Q: essays on my vacation in german language
A: Ever since I put up two posts called My summer vacation essay, part 1 and 2, I started getting a ton of queries looking for summer vacation essays, presumably for school (eg. Q: free on line essay on my summer vacition, or Q: essay on my summer holidays for 2nd standad child). The weird thing, though, is how many of them specified they'd like the essay to be in French, German, or some other language. Here's a clue folks: if you'd like an essay in German, try translating the desired essay topic into German before typing it into google. Of course, the people who are clever enough to figure that out are probably doing their own homework rather than search-querying for help...
Q: how do mormons determine who is worthy
A: Mostly through interviews, especially the "temple recommend interview". Officials in the lay ministry (such as the Bishop or Stake President) interview the members individually every now and then.
Q: what is the true meaning of christmas for a kid?
A: It really depends on the kid. And even if the kid is only interested in the presents now, his/her later memories of Christmas (looking back) may have added meaning.
Q: ex-mormons feel like a slut
A: Probably some do, but not all. And, to be honest, believers may feel more guilt and shame over sexuality than exmos.
Q: exmormon fly
A: This one has me stumped. Are you asking if exmos can fly? Or whether a fly could be an exmo? Or are exmos more likely to accidentally leave their fly down or something? I'd like to help you, but you have to be more specific.
Q: my parents think i'm apostate
A: Join the club.
Q: i do not belong in byui
A: Join the club.
Q: i ran naked my wife stayed clothed
A: Join the... I mean what the...?
Q: what do most people do right after sex as far as bodily fluids
A: You see, there's this miraculous invention called a towel...
Q: ok to masturbate if wife doesnt want to have sex and mormon?
A: I think so, but you may want a second opinion. (see also: fidelity, autonomy)
Q: why do women feel threatened by their spouse masturbating
A: I think it's mostly because they worry their spouse would rather be having sex with someone else, feel they can't compete with the sexy women in photos, etc. If you'd like your wife to cut you some slack on this, I'd recommend making it clear to your wife that you love her, that you're attracted to her, that you're not wishing you could trade her in for someone else, etc., and that the masturbation is just about variety or frequency or something like that.
Q: marriage or finding girl solves the masterbation?
A: I wouldn't bank on it.
Q: mormom return missionary sisters make good wives
A: That may be true, but it depends on the individual woman and on what you're looking for in a wife.
Q: can you go to jail if you read sex stories even if they don't show no nudity
A: Why would you think you could be put in jail for reading sex stories, whether they contain nudity or not? Has someone been filling your head with such nonsense? Note: this query came in from an I.P. address in Alabama, and I assume that possession of erotica is not illegal there. It's comforting to know that the Internet is counteracting misinformation all over the world.
Some readers may notice that I kind of focus on the sex-related queries in this feature -- even though they're not the majority of the queries I get. They're some of the most interesting ones, though. It seems like people will ask google stuff that they won't ask their friends and family. In particular, people type in queries that I assume are fetishes they'd like to read titillating stories about. I hope readers won't be offended if I list some of these off as a curiosity.
Remember: I had no choice but to read these weird, perverted queries myself when they showed up in my logs, and I was shocked! Thus, I have to post them so you can see what I'm talking about. Additionally, this list may help budding erotica-writers out there by giving them some market-tested ideas to use to help people like our friend from Alabama.
Q: perverted part in the grinch
Q: white christmas gay porn
Q: mom & son nude beach photos
Q: attracted to physically strong
Q: women's topless breasts spokane
Q: sexy sister missionaries
Q: unexpected sex in public local bus
Q: moms getting wedgies
Q: look male but he female
Q: erotic stories about mormon missionaries
Q: short erotic stories, santa clause
Q: breastfeeding orgasm stories
Anyone interested in writing any of those?
Saturday, September 06, 2008
Ask Chanson, via Google II
Those search queries just keep pouring in!!! Scrolling through my logs, I can see that the magic of the Internet has sent tons of people with questions (and in need of advice) to my blog, and -- never fear -- I am here to help!
As in the first installment of Ask Chanson, via Google, all of the following are actual unaltered search queries that led people to my blog:
Q: boys and girls and use the same bathroom?
A: In my apartment they do.
Q: what to say if you are an atheist and a good friend tries to convert you
A: Give him/her a copy of The God Delusion. J/K, if you value the friendship, that's probably not the best solution. Try having that "Let's agree to disagree and respect each other's values" talk. If that doesn't work, and the person insists on believing "everyone's a seeker until they've reached the point of agreeing with me," then I would start to question the value of the friendship.
Q: how to handle religious inlaws who don't approve of my atheism
A: Boundaries. I would highly recommend having a serious talk with your partner to make sure you're on the same page. Even if your partner isn't an atheist, you should be sure your partner understands the importance of treating one another with respect for the sake of family unity. If your partner blows off your concerns and thinks it's fine for his/her parents to be giving you subtle (or unsubtle) jabs, then try to avoid visiting your in-laws (encourage your partner to go without you).
Q: dad gave me the birds and bees talk
A: Good! If you have any further questions, I'm sure the Internet + Google can help! :D
Q: some people have nightmares about going to class naked
A: So true!
Q: three reasons why barack obama is the best candidate for president
A: (1) Energy independence and the environment are critical issues that need to be taken seriously now.
(2) He's very intelligent in an open-to-learning sort of way. I've read both his books, and his analysis transcends the standard left vs. right, and not in the sense of "let's find the most strategic way to compromise with our enemies" but rather in the sense of "let's analyze our problems and their causes without being limited to the traditional answers."
(3) Now that the other team has added a die-hard theocrat to the ticket (a sick old guy's heartbeat away from the captain's chair), they've completed the job of demonstrating they intend to stay the course 100% full steam ahead on GWB's failed policies. Frankly, with the addition of the abstinence-creationism-godly-war gov behind Mr. one-foot-in-the-grave, this is the most terrifying ticket I've ever seen, and I hope every citizen out there will be taking their job very seriously come November. I know I will. This is a critical election for the entire world...
Q: solution to discrimination against gays
A: I'd love to help you, if only I had a solution...
Q: worried about girls sunbathing topless
A: Sorry, with America's deadly dependence on foreign oil, the economy mortgaged to China, and the civil liberties of our Constitution hanging by a thread, you're worried about girls sunbathing topless? Sheesh, I wish that were my top concern...
Q: ex at family functions ignores me
A: That's too bad. But if it's annoying to run into your ex at family functions, next time don't marry your cousin.
Q: a man's visual arousal is part of his sin nature a man is not supposed to be aroused sexually by a womans physi
A: Hmmm. Well, if you feel that way, you can always go with a guy who's not aroused by women's bodies. One place to start is the various ex-gay groups. But I really, really, really don't recommend that option for straight women...
Q: did mary really appear at lourdes
A: What do you think?
Q: where to buy souvenirs in lourdes
A: Everywhere!!!
Q: masturbation versus spirituality
A: You can take my opinion with a grain of salt, but I think masturbation is better.
Q: what is the typical latin woman's behaviour
A: If you're imagining you'll get a concise and accurate answer to this on a blog, then that's a bad sign...
Q: signs that you're a stalker
A: If you have to ask, then you should probably cut it out, whatever it is you're doing.
Q: i feel awful for stalking a girl
A: Well, then, stop it and don't do it again.
Q: stephenie meyer perverted
A: That is so true! Have you read Twilight? **shudder**
Q: does masturbation harm your body for women
A: Normally it doesn't, as long as you avoid using ridiculously oversized sex toys covered with sharp spikes.
Q: is it true after been broken there is second virginity
A: It depends on your definition of "virginity," but, if possible, I'd avoid dating guys who would be influenced by such a thing.
Q: i'm the sexiest women in colombo sri lanka and i want to have sex with a guy in colombo
A: Well, your problem doesn't sound terribly difficult to solve. Why are you wasting your time on the Internet? Go outside and look around!
Q: get sexy woman who wants sex only in gujarat,india
A: Well, I can't help you on that, but you might consider a trip to Colombo, Sri Lanka.
Q: is thomas the tank gay
A: No, it's James. How many times do I have to explain this?
Q: atheist kilt
A: What, you're looking for a tartan with the red "A" woven into it? That would be cool, but I don't know of one. But one or more of these kilt-wearing guys are atheists.
Q: pictures of naked scotsman in kilts
Q: naked men in kilts
A: I hate to be a stickler, but if they're wearing kilts, then they're not naked...
Q: men look better kilt
Q: photos of men with kilts and no underwear
Q: photo under men in kilts
Q: men in kilts with no underwear on
Q: do men wear underware under kilts
A: Yeah, I've heard there's some sort of custom about kilts and no undies. I'm not an expert, but this guy seems to have the scoop.
Q: why don't men wear underwear with a kilt
A: Are you kidding? And give up that mystique? ;^)
Well, that's all for now. But remember, if you have a question of any kind, just type it into a search engine and an answer will appear!!! (Your mileage may vary...)
As in the first installment of Ask Chanson, via Google, all of the following are actual unaltered search queries that led people to my blog:
Q: boys and girls and use the same bathroom?
A: In my apartment they do.
Q: what to say if you are an atheist and a good friend tries to convert you
A: Give him/her a copy of The God Delusion. J/K, if you value the friendship, that's probably not the best solution. Try having that "Let's agree to disagree and respect each other's values" talk. If that doesn't work, and the person insists on believing "everyone's a seeker until they've reached the point of agreeing with me," then I would start to question the value of the friendship.
Q: how to handle religious inlaws who don't approve of my atheism
A: Boundaries. I would highly recommend having a serious talk with your partner to make sure you're on the same page. Even if your partner isn't an atheist, you should be sure your partner understands the importance of treating one another with respect for the sake of family unity. If your partner blows off your concerns and thinks it's fine for his/her parents to be giving you subtle (or unsubtle) jabs, then try to avoid visiting your in-laws (encourage your partner to go without you).
Q: dad gave me the birds and bees talk
A: Good! If you have any further questions, I'm sure the Internet + Google can help! :D
Q: some people have nightmares about going to class naked
A: So true!
Q: three reasons why barack obama is the best candidate for president
A: (1) Energy independence and the environment are critical issues that need to be taken seriously now.
(2) He's very intelligent in an open-to-learning sort of way. I've read both his books, and his analysis transcends the standard left vs. right, and not in the sense of "let's find the most strategic way to compromise with our enemies" but rather in the sense of "let's analyze our problems and their causes without being limited to the traditional answers."
(3) Now that the other team has added a die-hard theocrat to the ticket (a sick old guy's heartbeat away from the captain's chair), they've completed the job of demonstrating they intend to stay the course 100% full steam ahead on GWB's failed policies. Frankly, with the addition of the abstinence-creationism-godly-war gov behind Mr. one-foot-in-the-grave, this is the most terrifying ticket I've ever seen, and I hope every citizen out there will be taking their job very seriously come November. I know I will. This is a critical election for the entire world...
Q: solution to discrimination against gays
A: I'd love to help you, if only I had a solution...
Q: worried about girls sunbathing topless
A: Sorry, with America's deadly dependence on foreign oil, the economy mortgaged to China, and the civil liberties of our Constitution hanging by a thread, you're worried about girls sunbathing topless? Sheesh, I wish that were my top concern...
Q: ex at family functions ignores me
A: That's too bad. But if it's annoying to run into your ex at family functions, next time don't marry your cousin.
Q: a man's visual arousal is part of his sin nature a man is not supposed to be aroused sexually by a womans physi
A: Hmmm. Well, if you feel that way, you can always go with a guy who's not aroused by women's bodies. One place to start is the various ex-gay groups. But I really, really, really don't recommend that option for straight women...
Q: did mary really appear at lourdes
A: What do you think?
Q: where to buy souvenirs in lourdes
A: Everywhere!!!
Q: masturbation versus spirituality
A: You can take my opinion with a grain of salt, but I think masturbation is better.
Q: what is the typical latin woman's behaviour
A: If you're imagining you'll get a concise and accurate answer to this on a blog, then that's a bad sign...
Q: signs that you're a stalker
A: If you have to ask, then you should probably cut it out, whatever it is you're doing.
Q: i feel awful for stalking a girl
A: Well, then, stop it and don't do it again.
Q: stephenie meyer perverted
A: That is so true! Have you read Twilight? **shudder**
Q: does masturbation harm your body for women
A: Normally it doesn't, as long as you avoid using ridiculously oversized sex toys covered with sharp spikes.
Q: is it true after been broken there is second virginity
A: It depends on your definition of "virginity," but, if possible, I'd avoid dating guys who would be influenced by such a thing.
Q: i'm the sexiest women in colombo sri lanka and i want to have sex with a guy in colombo
A: Well, your problem doesn't sound terribly difficult to solve. Why are you wasting your time on the Internet? Go outside and look around!
Q: get sexy woman who wants sex only in gujarat,india
A: Well, I can't help you on that, but you might consider a trip to Colombo, Sri Lanka.
Q: is thomas the tank gay
A: No, it's James. How many times do I have to explain this?
Q: atheist kilt
A: What, you're looking for a tartan with the red "A" woven into it? That would be cool, but I don't know of one. But one or more of these kilt-wearing guys are atheists.
Q: pictures of naked scotsman in kilts
Q: naked men in kilts
A: I hate to be a stickler, but if they're wearing kilts, then they're not naked...
Q: men look better kilt
Q: photos of men with kilts and no underwear
Q: photo under men in kilts
Q: men in kilts with no underwear on
Q: do men wear underware under kilts
A: Yeah, I've heard there's some sort of custom about kilts and no undies. I'm not an expert, but this guy seems to have the scoop.
Q: why don't men wear underwear with a kilt
A: Are you kidding? And give up that mystique? ;^)
Well, that's all for now. But remember, if you have a question of any kind, just type it into a search engine and an answer will appear!!! (Your mileage may vary...)
Friday, April 25, 2008
Ask Chanson (via Google)!
Ever since the Exterminator invented googl-oetry, I've taken to saving all my incoming search queries -- in hopes of regaling you all with another hilarious googl-oem like the one I composed here. The trouble is, though, that the funniest ones aren't that poetic. Or maybe it's just that they're such gems that I don't feel like I'm adding anything to them by juxtaposing them with one another.
Another thing I've noticed, though, is that a lot of them seem to be looking for information and or advice that I might be able to help on, but which may or not be answered on the page their query pulled up. So today I'll be playing advice columnist, treating my incoming search queries as (very, very short, cryptic) letters to me. :D
The first batch is the people asking about having sex on the first date. I get so many queries about this that I'm starting to feel like one of the world's leading experts on the subject. (Yes, these are all real queries typed int a search engine by readers -- and it isn't nearly all of them...)
Q: do most women prefer sex on the first date
Q: should i have sex on first date?
Q: having sex on first date what to say
Q: sex on first date always bad
Q: can sex on a first date turn into a relationship
Q: how many people have sex on the first date
Q: is it ok to have sex on the first date
Q: talking about sex on the 1st date
Q: how to not have sex on the first date
Q: should women 50 have sex on the first date
Q: sex in the car on the first date
Q: why people have sex at first date
Q: how to get sex on a first date
Q: men who get angry if you dont sleep with them on first date
Q: how to act after sex on the first date
Q: no sex on first date
Q: why people have sex on the first date?
Q: should a gay guy have sex the first meeting
Q: do real men call after having sex on the first date
Q: why doesnt guy call after sex on first date?
Q: how to get sex on the first date
Q: what they think about sex in a first date
Q: is sex on a first date ok
A: I can't promise I have useful advice for all of these people, but you can have a look at my thoughts on the subject here (and to a lesser degree here).
The next batch is the set of queries that I like to call the "I'm writing a book report" queries. Kids, if my ideas on these books are helpful, feel free to use them (though a citation is always appreciated...). Just remember not to copy/paste whole paragraphs since your teacher knows how to use Google too! :D
Q: ready explanation for class distinction in pride and prejudice
Q: innocence in pride and prejudice
A: see this post
Q: marquise de merteuil's servant girl
Q: dinner scenes in dangereuses liaisons and valmount
A: see this post
Q: role of rieux la peste
A: see this post
Q: political culture and persepolis
A: see this post
Q: walter kirn mormon story new yorker
A: see this post
An important sub-genre of this set is the questions about Philip Pullman's "His Dark Materials" trilogy. Some examples:
Q: pullman his dark materials part 1 review
Q: how is lyra like eve philip pullman his dark materials
Q: atheist fantasy book
Q: his dark materials themes
Q: atheism dark matter
Q: interpretation of his dark materials trilogy
Q: is philip pullman an atheist
Q: his dark materials, philip pullman, premise of books
A: These questions and many others are answered here.
However, more than half of my Pullman-related queries are asking one big question:
Q: do lyra and will have sex?
Q: philip pullman sex lyra
Q: lyra and will sex
Q: dark materials lyra will sex
Q: his dark materials sex
Q: his dark material, do will and lyra have sexual relations
Q: lyra and will are way too young to be makin out
I'm glad I've taken the time to discuss this (here). It makes me feel like I'm providing a valuable public service with my blog because clearly many, many people are confused on this point.
Pullman himself won't answer. I don't have the exact quote, but I read an interview where he said he wanted to leave the question open. Well, no duh, I would guess that when a grown-up writes a romantic love scene where a fifteen-year-old boy has unprotected sex with a twelve or thirteen-year-old girl, there's a certain amount of social pressure to pretend like maybe you didn't really write that.
It's unfortunate, too, because teens these days are having romantic/sexual relationships, and since they're still in the "learning about relationships" phase, they might really benefit from stories about other young people -- and particularly stories that take their relationships seriously. I have this exact problem with Exmormon: I wrote it largely for young people (hoping to be the Mormon Judy Blume), but since I don't want to get in trouble for corrupting the youth and being an inappropriate influence on other peoples' kids, I add the caveat that it's for people over 18 and/or teens whose parents have read it and have decided their kids are mature enough to handle it...
Anyway, off that soapbox and on to some real-life advice queries that led people to me!!!
Q: im worried about my non believing aunt going to hell
A: Well, worry no more!!! Hell doesn't exist.
Q: how to tell parents i'm atheist
A: This is a tricky one since there's no one right answer. It depends on your situation and your parents. You're on the right track to be searching the Internet, though!!! Read some atheist blogs, look for "coming out as atheist" stories, and from there you can plan the approach that's right for you and your family!
Q: my husband thinks its his fault our son is gay
A: Contact PFLAG -- they can help you out on this.
Q: i agreed to have sex with a guy i just met but now i wish i didn't
A: Well, if you haven't gone through with it yet, you're allowed to change your mind. Saying "sure, I'll have sex with you sometime" isn't a legally binding contract. If you've already done it, however, I hope you've learned a lesson about planning and thinking things through. Also, beware of alcohol if you're in a social situation with a guy you're not sure whether you want to have sex with or not.
Q: she is way hotter than i am is it even possible
A: Probably not, but you never know...
Q: i hate america switzerland and mormons
A: Then you've totally come to the wrong blog.
Q: child friendly story of christian pilgrimage to lourdes
A: Well, you're in luck -- I've written a whole series on taking kids to Lourdes!!!
Q: is pornography tied in with polygamy
A: Not really, but I have heard that early Mormons argued that polygamy is a good way to combat the horrible evil of male masturbation. I hope I don't have to explain how messed-up that is. (Also, it probably doesn't help much to stop female masturbation...)
Q: how did homesexuals affect the civil war
A: Good question!!! I have no idea, but if you figure it out, please tell me.
Q: arranged marriage should i tell her i masterbate
A: Probably, but not right off the bat. One of the problems with an arranged marriage is that you don't necessarily have a feel for your partner's attitudes. Also, if she's recently arrived from India, you never know if she might find western attitudes towards sex shocking, and this could start your relationship off on a bad note. I'd say wait until you have your intimate relationship established and you have a feel for your partner's attitudes. Introduce new ideas in a manner that is considerate of your partner's feelings. Once you get the impression she's willing and ready to have such a discussion, go ahead.
Q: am i bad at sex
A: How the hell should I know? Talk to your partner about it. If you are, good communication -- listening to what your partner likes and doesn't like -- can help you improve.
Q: real logical proof evolution is wrong
A: Mwahahahahahahahaha!!! Good luck, buddy!!! ;^)
Q: it takes faith to be an atheist argument
A: I've covered that one thoroghly here.
Q: biggest biblical massacre
A: That's a tricky one since there are a lot of contenders, but I talked about one of them here.
Q: ice cream and rape correlation
A: I'm glad Rebecca brought this up in the comments of this post because her comment regularly brings in search queries which I assume are from people who are interested in discussing how we should interpret statistical correlations with complicated things like rape. There's also the follow-up post talking about the correlation between porn and rape (the fact that rape decreases as porn access increases), and a discussion of how we might interpret that.
Q: what happens if i get a hard on at nude beach
A: They arrest you immediately. Haha, just kidding!!! The correct answer is "you will be very, very, very embarrassed."
Actually, I've gotten a whole series of questions about the nude beach, including topics I've covered (Q: topless seine A: see topless on the beach; Q: nude beaches urinating A: see More tales from the nude beach...), as well as a bunch of stuff I didn't cover:
Q: women have you ever done to the nudists beach to see naked guys
A: You mean gone? Probably some have, but not nearly so many as guys who go there to see the naked women.
Q: are nude beaches fun?
A: Yes.
Q: why aren't more beaches topless
A: Some people like to go swimming and not see naked people. Hard to believe, but true.
Q: why do women go topless on beaches ?
A: Does there have to be a reason?
Q: nude sunbathing benefits of
A: Uniformizes your skin cancer risk.
Q: extreme nude beaches
A: lol, regular nude beaches aren't exciting enough?
Q: why do the french have topless beaches in france
A: Where the hell else are they going to have them???
Q: nude sunbathing is ok with mom
A: That's good. You should really always get your mom's approval on this...
And the list goes on and on. I can't begin to tell you how many queries I get for sexy pics of people in particular places ever since I joked about that here. (Of course I have not posted any nude pics at all of anyone on my blog unless you count those silly little naked comics.) Actually those queries are some of the most entertaining (for my inner anthropologist) since I get a uniform distribution of people with local tastes (eg. the query "sexy ladies of boise idaho" coming in on an I.P. address in Boise, Idaho, or the query "sexy arab ladies" coming in from an I.P. address in the United Arab Emirates) and then people with really, really random exotic tastes (eg. the query "sexy naked ladies of Belgium" coming in from Cleveland, Ohio). I'll just say that -- if my stats are any indication -- no matter where you're from on the whole planet, somebody, somewhere wants to see you naked. ;^)
Then, of course, we have the whole range of Mormon-related questions:
Q: i found out my mormon boyfriend told another girl to wait for him
A: That sucks. On the other hand, if he's two-timing you while on his mission and you're at home, you could always try dating somebody else...
Q: you're an apostate
A: Why, thank you!
Q: lds teenage masturbation solutions
A: Believers probably won't like my solution, but I'll post it since you asked: Tell him/her it's normal (and private), and don't bug them about it.
Q: mormon girl can't date me sex
A: Well, those are the breaks. But (to give you another helpful cliché) there are other fish in the sea! :D
Q: i had sex with a mormon missionary
A: Well, that was very, very naughty of you!!! That's totally against their rules. Sheesh, I couldn't even get them to come to my house unchaperoned, see my series of mishie stories.
Q: are there girls at byu who have had sex
A: Yes. But that's against the rules too.
Q: sister missionaries sexy pics
A: I'm beginning to think some of you people don't really understand how this whole mission thing works...
Q: are there different types of mormons
A: Yes. In fact, I've made a whole handy guide to different types of Mormons.
Q: download exmormon c.l. hanson
A: I have chosen not to make this book avaliable for anonymous download. If you want an e-copy, you have to email me: chanson dot exmormon at gmail dot com
Well, I'm afraid I'm going to have to wrap this up since it's getting so long that blogger is choking on the autosave. It's too bad, too, because I've barely scratched the surface of the whole families of fabulous search queries I've gotten lately!!!
Oh well, I'll end with a really nice one I got the other day:
Q: most popular blog ex mormon mom
A: Aww, if only it were true!!! :D I'm flattered that this led you to my blog anyway, and I plan to keep on providing you with useful and/or entertaining stories right here at "Letters from a Broad"! :D
Another thing I've noticed, though, is that a lot of them seem to be looking for information and or advice that I might be able to help on, but which may or not be answered on the page their query pulled up. So today I'll be playing advice columnist, treating my incoming search queries as (very, very short, cryptic) letters to me. :D
The first batch is the people asking about having sex on the first date. I get so many queries about this that I'm starting to feel like one of the world's leading experts on the subject. (Yes, these are all real queries typed int a search engine by readers -- and it isn't nearly all of them...)
Q: do most women prefer sex on the first date
Q: should i have sex on first date?
Q: having sex on first date what to say
Q: sex on first date always bad
Q: can sex on a first date turn into a relationship
Q: how many people have sex on the first date
Q: is it ok to have sex on the first date
Q: talking about sex on the 1st date
Q: how to not have sex on the first date
Q: should women 50 have sex on the first date
Q: sex in the car on the first date
Q: why people have sex at first date
Q: how to get sex on a first date
Q: men who get angry if you dont sleep with them on first date
Q: how to act after sex on the first date
Q: no sex on first date
Q: why people have sex on the first date?
Q: should a gay guy have sex the first meeting
Q: do real men call after having sex on the first date
Q: why doesnt guy call after sex on first date?
Q: how to get sex on the first date
Q: what they think about sex in a first date
Q: is sex on a first date ok
A: I can't promise I have useful advice for all of these people, but you can have a look at my thoughts on the subject here (and to a lesser degree here).
The next batch is the set of queries that I like to call the "I'm writing a book report" queries. Kids, if my ideas on these books are helpful, feel free to use them (though a citation is always appreciated...). Just remember not to copy/paste whole paragraphs since your teacher knows how to use Google too! :D
Q: ready explanation for class distinction in pride and prejudice
Q: innocence in pride and prejudice
A: see this post
Q: marquise de merteuil's servant girl
Q: dinner scenes in dangereuses liaisons and valmount
A: see this post
Q: role of rieux la peste
A: see this post
Q: political culture and persepolis
A: see this post
Q: walter kirn mormon story new yorker
A: see this post
An important sub-genre of this set is the questions about Philip Pullman's "His Dark Materials" trilogy. Some examples:
Q: pullman his dark materials part 1 review
Q: how is lyra like eve philip pullman his dark materials
Q: atheist fantasy book
Q: his dark materials themes
Q: atheism dark matter
Q: interpretation of his dark materials trilogy
Q: is philip pullman an atheist
Q: his dark materials, philip pullman, premise of books
A: These questions and many others are answered here.
However, more than half of my Pullman-related queries are asking one big question:
Q: do lyra and will have sex?
Q: philip pullman sex lyra
Q: lyra and will sex
Q: dark materials lyra will sex
Q: his dark materials sex
Q: his dark material, do will and lyra have sexual relations
Q: lyra and will are way too young to be makin out
I'm glad I've taken the time to discuss this (here). It makes me feel like I'm providing a valuable public service with my blog because clearly many, many people are confused on this point.
Pullman himself won't answer. I don't have the exact quote, but I read an interview where he said he wanted to leave the question open. Well, no duh, I would guess that when a grown-up writes a romantic love scene where a fifteen-year-old boy has unprotected sex with a twelve or thirteen-year-old girl, there's a certain amount of social pressure to pretend like maybe you didn't really write that.
It's unfortunate, too, because teens these days are having romantic/sexual relationships, and since they're still in the "learning about relationships" phase, they might really benefit from stories about other young people -- and particularly stories that take their relationships seriously. I have this exact problem with Exmormon: I wrote it largely for young people (hoping to be the Mormon Judy Blume), but since I don't want to get in trouble for corrupting the youth and being an inappropriate influence on other peoples' kids, I add the caveat that it's for people over 18 and/or teens whose parents have read it and have decided their kids are mature enough to handle it...
Anyway, off that soapbox and on to some real-life advice queries that led people to me!!!
Q: im worried about my non believing aunt going to hell
A: Well, worry no more!!! Hell doesn't exist.
Q: how to tell parents i'm atheist
A: This is a tricky one since there's no one right answer. It depends on your situation and your parents. You're on the right track to be searching the Internet, though!!! Read some atheist blogs, look for "coming out as atheist" stories, and from there you can plan the approach that's right for you and your family!
Q: my husband thinks its his fault our son is gay
A: Contact PFLAG -- they can help you out on this.
Q: i agreed to have sex with a guy i just met but now i wish i didn't
A: Well, if you haven't gone through with it yet, you're allowed to change your mind. Saying "sure, I'll have sex with you sometime" isn't a legally binding contract. If you've already done it, however, I hope you've learned a lesson about planning and thinking things through. Also, beware of alcohol if you're in a social situation with a guy you're not sure whether you want to have sex with or not.
Q: she is way hotter than i am is it even possible
A: Probably not, but you never know...
Q: i hate america switzerland and mormons
A: Then you've totally come to the wrong blog.
Q: child friendly story of christian pilgrimage to lourdes
A: Well, you're in luck -- I've written a whole series on taking kids to Lourdes!!!
Q: is pornography tied in with polygamy
A: Not really, but I have heard that early Mormons argued that polygamy is a good way to combat the horrible evil of male masturbation. I hope I don't have to explain how messed-up that is. (Also, it probably doesn't help much to stop female masturbation...)
Q: how did homesexuals affect the civil war
A: Good question!!! I have no idea, but if you figure it out, please tell me.
Q: arranged marriage should i tell her i masterbate
A: Probably, but not right off the bat. One of the problems with an arranged marriage is that you don't necessarily have a feel for your partner's attitudes. Also, if she's recently arrived from India, you never know if she might find western attitudes towards sex shocking, and this could start your relationship off on a bad note. I'd say wait until you have your intimate relationship established and you have a feel for your partner's attitudes. Introduce new ideas in a manner that is considerate of your partner's feelings. Once you get the impression she's willing and ready to have such a discussion, go ahead.
Q: am i bad at sex
A: How the hell should I know? Talk to your partner about it. If you are, good communication -- listening to what your partner likes and doesn't like -- can help you improve.
Q: real logical proof evolution is wrong
A: Mwahahahahahahahaha!!! Good luck, buddy!!! ;^)
Q: it takes faith to be an atheist argument
A: I've covered that one thoroghly here.
Q: biggest biblical massacre
A: That's a tricky one since there are a lot of contenders, but I talked about one of them here.
Q: ice cream and rape correlation
A: I'm glad Rebecca brought this up in the comments of this post because her comment regularly brings in search queries which I assume are from people who are interested in discussing how we should interpret statistical correlations with complicated things like rape. There's also the follow-up post talking about the correlation between porn and rape (the fact that rape decreases as porn access increases), and a discussion of how we might interpret that.
Q: what happens if i get a hard on at nude beach
A: They arrest you immediately. Haha, just kidding!!! The correct answer is "you will be very, very, very embarrassed."
Actually, I've gotten a whole series of questions about the nude beach, including topics I've covered (Q: topless seine A: see topless on the beach; Q: nude beaches urinating A: see More tales from the nude beach...), as well as a bunch of stuff I didn't cover:
Q: women have you ever done to the nudists beach to see naked guys
A: You mean gone? Probably some have, but not nearly so many as guys who go there to see the naked women.
Q: are nude beaches fun?
A: Yes.
Q: why aren't more beaches topless
A: Some people like to go swimming and not see naked people. Hard to believe, but true.
Q: why do women go topless on beaches ?
A: Does there have to be a reason?
Q: nude sunbathing benefits of
A: Uniformizes your skin cancer risk.
Q: extreme nude beaches
A: lol, regular nude beaches aren't exciting enough?
Q: why do the french have topless beaches in france
A: Where the hell else are they going to have them???
Q: nude sunbathing is ok with mom
A: That's good. You should really always get your mom's approval on this...
And the list goes on and on. I can't begin to tell you how many queries I get for sexy pics of people in particular places ever since I joked about that here. (Of course I have not posted any nude pics at all of anyone on my blog unless you count those silly little naked comics.) Actually those queries are some of the most entertaining (for my inner anthropologist) since I get a uniform distribution of people with local tastes (eg. the query "sexy ladies of boise idaho" coming in on an I.P. address in Boise, Idaho, or the query "sexy arab ladies" coming in from an I.P. address in the United Arab Emirates) and then people with really, really random exotic tastes (eg. the query "sexy naked ladies of Belgium" coming in from Cleveland, Ohio). I'll just say that -- if my stats are any indication -- no matter where you're from on the whole planet, somebody, somewhere wants to see you naked. ;^)
Then, of course, we have the whole range of Mormon-related questions:
Q: i found out my mormon boyfriend told another girl to wait for him
A: That sucks. On the other hand, if he's two-timing you while on his mission and you're at home, you could always try dating somebody else...
Q: you're an apostate
A: Why, thank you!
Q: lds teenage masturbation solutions
A: Believers probably won't like my solution, but I'll post it since you asked: Tell him/her it's normal (and private), and don't bug them about it.
Q: mormon girl can't date me sex
A: Well, those are the breaks. But (to give you another helpful cliché) there are other fish in the sea! :D
Q: i had sex with a mormon missionary
A: Well, that was very, very naughty of you!!! That's totally against their rules. Sheesh, I couldn't even get them to come to my house unchaperoned, see my series of mishie stories.
Q: are there girls at byu who have had sex
A: Yes. But that's against the rules too.
Q: sister missionaries sexy pics
A: I'm beginning to think some of you people don't really understand how this whole mission thing works...
Q: are there different types of mormons
A: Yes. In fact, I've made a whole handy guide to different types of Mormons.
Q: download exmormon c.l. hanson
A: I have chosen not to make this book avaliable for anonymous download. If you want an e-copy, you have to email me: chanson dot exmormon at gmail dot com
Well, I'm afraid I'm going to have to wrap this up since it's getting so long that blogger is choking on the autosave. It's too bad, too, because I've barely scratched the surface of the whole families of fabulous search queries I've gotten lately!!!
Oh well, I'll end with a really nice one I got the other day:
Q: most popular blog ex mormon mom
A: Aww, if only it were true!!! :D I'm flattered that this led you to my blog anyway, and I plan to keep on providing you with useful and/or entertaining stories right here at "Letters from a Broad"! :D
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Googl-oetry (search query poetry)
Through the magic of the Internet, the technique of making collages out of "found objects" can now be applied to poetry!!! The Exterminator followed by Ordinary Girl have created some astonishing poetry out of search queries that have led people to their blogs. Poetry is not my strong point, so this meme is a bit of a challenge for me, but it looked like so much fun that I had to try it!!!
Since my blog is currently going through the constellation of sexuality, my poem today is a comic-erotic poem. I was hoping to make a limerick, but the medium of search queries has its limitations... ;^)
Every line below is a (completely unedited) search query that led someone to my blog with the past few days!!!
looking for sexiest blog
nude beaches
topless beaches
unsuspecting photos of topless beach goers
moms at the beach topless here's some pics
is it wrong for my 5 year old to go topless
can you go topless in egypt
france male nude beaches
handsome men in kilts
photos of naked male bodyworker
men in kilts with no underwear
whale sex parts
picture of whales mating
studies about sex on the first date
is it ok to have sex on the first date
funny naked people
comic nudity
tucson topless sunbathing
nude beaches in nj pics
topless sunbathing in slovakia
topless beaches in new jersey
functioning democracy new jersey
sexually aroused look in his eye
men just can't help leering
people naked in the shower
topless/nude older women
promiscuous women
france public sex
sex mit der ex
masturbating public sex stories
why does porn lead to masterbation
mormon girls
byu chicks
naughty mormon girls
sex at byu
my first sexual experiences
post mormons
cultural mormonism
mormon sexuality
mormons virginity
any scrapbooking companies not owned by mormans?
an atheist's story
erotic atheists
intimate spirituality
atheist waiting until marriage to have sex
it takes a lot of faith to be an athiest
believe in love. believe in magic. hell, believe in santa cl
Since my blog is currently going through the constellation of sexuality, my poem today is a comic-erotic poem. I was hoping to make a limerick, but the medium of search queries has its limitations... ;^)
Every line below is a (completely unedited) search query that led someone to my blog with the past few days!!!
looking for sexiest blog
nude beaches
topless beaches
unsuspecting photos of topless beach goers
moms at the beach topless here's some pics
is it wrong for my 5 year old to go topless
can you go topless in egypt
france male nude beaches
handsome men in kilts
photos of naked male bodyworker
men in kilts with no underwear
whale sex parts
picture of whales mating
studies about sex on the first date
is it ok to have sex on the first date
funny naked people
comic nudity
tucson topless sunbathing
nude beaches in nj pics
topless sunbathing in slovakia
topless beaches in new jersey
functioning democracy new jersey
sexually aroused look in his eye
men just can't help leering
people naked in the shower
topless/nude older women
promiscuous women
france public sex
sex mit der ex
masturbating public sex stories
why does porn lead to masterbation
mormon girls
byu chicks
naughty mormon girls
sex at byu
my first sexual experiences
post mormons
cultural mormonism
mormon sexuality
mormons virginity
any scrapbooking companies not owned by mormans?
an atheist's story
erotic atheists
intimate spirituality
atheist waiting until marriage to have sex
it takes a lot of faith to be an athiest
believe in love. believe in magic. hell, believe in santa cl
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Sick of reruns yet?
I think I'm mostly done adding subject tags to my old posts -- now you can see that I've added my favorite subjects to my sidebar. Also, I've got a list of "greatest hits" in my sidebar (in order to introduce people to this blog), but actually the choices there are fairly arbitrary. If you're not sick of re-runs yet, here are some favorite also-rans:
The Mating Game: A primatologist looks at the mathematical community
Tradition!
Mormon Lit Misfit
Those Wacky Health Insurance Companies!
Why I hate church
Weekend in Paris
Happy Easter!!!
Me, on Star Trek!!!
The Mishies and Me: The Rest of the Story
Celtic Knotwork
A nice compliment...
Family history: we're different.
Trains, trains, and more trains!!!
What would have happened?
Mormon Meat: Christopher Bigelow's Kindred Spirits
My conspiracy theory!!!
Post-Mormon perspectives
The second stupidest thing I did in Scotland
Men in kilts!!!
This will be fabulous!!! or a total disaster...
Peanut Butter vs. Vegemite
Religion and getting along...
Thoughts on Jack Weyland
Fertility, Mortality or Sex vs. Death
Scrapbookin'!!!
My Ex is Having Sex with Rex!!!
Confessions of a former Nader voter, parts 1 and 2.
My friend, the Internet...
The birds and the bees and the whales...
Discrimination against homosexuals: why? why? why???
Polytheism vs. Monotheism + Omnipotence
It takes a lot of faith to believe that!!!
Challenges and Pleasures of Mormon lit: In Our Lovely Deseret, edited by Robert Raleigh
Modern Baal worship??? Um, is that a joke?
Do you want to live forever? or the many reasons why I don't like death...
The Good News about Atheists!: Hemant Mehta's I Sold My Soul on eBay
How I became an atheist
The parable of criticism is a compliment
Jesus and the death penalty
Steal this idea: Greetings from the opposite of America!!!
Family History: Moonshine
More whale naughty bits!!!
All about Lourdes!!!
Is religion the problem?
Why I'm a bad mom, part 2
Persepolis
Harry Potter vs. Jesus
"He has his faults, such as being a perverted-democrat-atheist, but...
The Mating Game: A primatologist looks at the mathematical community
Are you like me? Do you love reading those books by Jane Goodall and Frans De Waal where they observe a community of great apes and describe all of their social interactions in graphic detail? If so, you're in luck! Because I have observed a primate society myself (in their natural habitat!), and today I am going to share my observations with you!!!
Tradition!
The Christian establishment hasn't always been so gung-ho to embrace its best-loved holiday. Notably, the Puritan pilgrims outlawed the celebration of Christmas. They invented the holiday "Thanksgiving" as a replacement to put a stop to all the partying, fun-having, and other pagan customs traditionally associated with the yuletide season. So if you were wondering why Thanksgiving is such a lame holiday, that's why.
Mormon Lit Misfit
Some may say that by writing stories about Mormons from an apostate perspective, I'm being one of those people who "can leave the church but can't leave it alone."
I ask, whose childhood am I supposed to write about? I didn't ask to be raised in this religion.
I know some of you who believe in the pre-existence will say that in fact I did ask to be raised in this religion, before I was born and everything. But I know myself pretty well, and I'm sure that if I did ask to be raised Mormon back in the pre-existence, I was just kidding.
Those Wacky Health Insurance Companies!
The lesson to be learned is that the correct sequence is as follows: (1) Go to the doctor, (2) wait until you receive evidence that your insurance has paid the bills as they were supposed to, then (3) quit your job. Important: Do not invert these last two steps.
Why I hate church
I was digging through my old papers, and I found this amusing little article that I wrote for the Student Review -- BYU's now-defunct independent student paper -- when I was around 20 years old. It's particuarly funny that I saw it as shocking and controversial to expose the fact that church is no fun for kids...
Weekend in Paris
Chocolate fish are my favorite French Easter custom. Sure they have the usual chocolate bunnies and eggs like back home, but they also have this additional chocolate fish custom in honor of Lent. Now you may have heard that people like to give up chocolate for Lent. Well, it turns out that as long as the chocolate is in the shape of a fish, it counts as fish and not chocolate for Lent purposes.
Really. I'm not making this up.
Okay, I am making it up. I think it's more that -- Catholic as everybody is around here -- people don't really give stuff up for Lent.
Happy Easter!!!
Now if you're new to this blog, you're probably wondering "Hey, if she's an atheist, what's she doing celebrating the festival of the goddess Astarte??"
Me, on Star Trek!!!
Here I am as the Vulcan captain of the U.S.S. Galois, the starship I commanded for the fifteen-episode community cable Star Trek parody that my brother and I wrote and produced.
The Mishies and Me: The Rest of the Story
Mishies: But you still believe in God, right?
Me: (big smile :D ) No. I am an atheist.
Celtic Knotwork
I used to joke around with my friends that this is the perfect hobby for me because it's Celtic and it's not work.
A nice compliment...
Maybe I'm reading this wrong or something, but by contrast with all of the negative stereotypes and generalizations about people who stop believing, I can't help but see it as a compliment when believing Mormons say that those who "fall away" are the ones that "asked too many questions."
Family history: we're different.
The LDS ethic has an interesting blend of "do as you're told" and "do it yourself." I think that because of my extended family's stories and traditions, I was raised on an extra heavy dose of "do it yourself."
Trains, trains, and more trains!!!
I don't object to the Christian content as it seems mostly limited to portraying the local vicar as a nice guy and mentioning that the trains take the kids' Sunday school class on outings. I don't think we would let them watch it if it were like "Hey kids, let's all praise Jesus!!" This is largely for the same reason we don't let them watch "Barney", namely that when the kids watch their videos we end up having to sit through them as well.
What would have happened?
interviewer: So you're saying that God wasn't always God, and that once upon a time he used to be a righteous guy on some other planet?
guest: yes.
Mormon Meat: Christopher Bigelow's Kindred Spirits
One thing I really like about this novel is the realistic ambiguity and complexity of the situation presented. The author doesn't just spell out for you what you should think about the various characters and situations but rather leaves you to form your own opinions. As the story progresses, Eliza's relationship with her boyfriend and with the church takes some strange turns, and I couldn't keep from wondering how things would have turned out if she'd made different choices.
My conspiracy theory!!!
As a cultural Mormon, I couldn't help but find it amusing that Brown sets out to show that Jesus was married to Mary Magdalene, which is a popular Mormon folk-doctrine that was taught by some early LDS church leaders. It wasn't until I read the whole book in all of its secrets-of-the-Templars glory that I saw how very perfectly the Mormons fit into the world Dan Brown set up!!!
Post-Mormon perspectives
In short, I play the proverbial benevolent deity who gives her creations serious trials to overcome, but refuses to give them more than they can ultimately handle. Collins is more like the “cruel realities” deity who says to her creations “Oops, you were in the wrong place at the wrong time, so too bad for you.” Wham!
The second stupidest thing I did in Scotland
I hope momsis doesn't get annoyed with me for posting this story. I'm not doing it justice -- it was hilarious the way she told it!!! Everyone in this whole family is a jokemeister. Well, my siblings anyway -- my parents are kind of boring. (Kidding!!! Don't tell them I said that...)
Men in kilts!!!
This will be fabulous!!! or a total disaster...
Now, on the surface that seems like a good plan. But think about it. I'll be at a big Catholic wedding reception with my exmo-atheist brothers, and my kids will be safely in the care of someone responsible. So in theory I might say "Okay, I'll try not to drink too much," but in practice, who am I kidding? And besides, my little brother got roaring drunk at my wedding reception, so the least I can do is return the favor.
Peanut Butter vs. Vegemite
So since moving to France, I've learned that the French don't eat peanut butter and they don't eat Vegemite. the Vegemite part didn't bother me so much since I'd never heard of Vegemite until my manager here was replaced by a guy from Australia. (Or so I thought -- when I told people I'd never heard of Vegemite, I found out that that line I never could understand from that one "Men at Work" song is actually "she just smiled and gave me a Vegemite sandwich." Live and learn!)
Religion and getting along...
As an example, in the comments of this post, "Fie to Kolob" offers a dismissive theory for why so many exmos are atheists. (Remember that Fie is the guy whose attitude towards Mormons was -- to my taste -- a little too close for comfort with the Mormon "love the sinner, hate the sin", attitude towards homosexuals, and he responded by assuring me that the way to show love for Mormons and homosexuals alike is to break them of their foolish misguidedness and save them for Jesus.)
Thoughts on Jack Weyland
Probably the ugliest thing I've seen in Weyland's work is the plot-line where an obnoxious guy “helps” a fat girl by being brutally honest with her (i.e. repeatedly telling her what a repulsive lardo she is), and she responds by changing her ways, losing weight, and being eternally grateful to the guy. This plot appears in a short story and is also a sub-plot in the novel Sam (where the formerly-fat girl actually marries the guy who “helped” her). This is wrong on so many levels, I don't even know where to begin.
Fertility, Mortality or Sex vs. Death
Today if you're in a loving marriage, you expect to be able to grow old together. Abusive or otherwise bad marriages are ended by choice, rather than having good and bad marriages alike cut short by untimely deaths.
And as a parent, rather than having more children than you can effectively handle – and then watching many of them die – you can typically choose to have no more kids than you think you can raise well, and more importantly, you can base this calculation on the expectation that you will most likely see them all live to adulthood.
Scrapbookin'!!!
It was kind of silly of me to have even imagined I'd find them selling a scrapbooking stamp of the Salt Lake Temple here. I think it's my nationalistic pride in the superiority of American retail science that makes me picture the French buyer who chose the stock as being some hapless amateur who would just order the generic American scrapbooking supplies set without a second thought about tailoring the stock to the local tastes. I should start giving these French retailers some credit. A careful examination of all of their choices of stamps yielded (among many other things) one generic church, two different very cute stylized versions of the Eiffel Tower, and no Salt Lake Temple. So, good job French retailers -- I'll try not to underestimate you so absurdly again.
My Ex is Having Sex with Rex!!!
Jennifer describes in entertaining detail her adventures in discovering anew what straight men are like. For example, she gets the fun of having two different guys in a row try to charm the pants off her with a clever line about how ordering french fries is "sooooo sexy!" lol
Confessions of a former Nader voter, parts 1 and 2.
I remembered Dan Quayle testing the waters of candidacy, and -- as far as I could tell -- he had been laughed off the stage for his ridiculous gaffes. Since Bush Jr. had demonstrated himself to be (if anything) even stupider, I figured he didn't have a snowball's chance in hell of getting elected. After all, I reasoned, even stupid people will say "Maybe for our leader we should choose someone who's not an idiot..."
My friend, the Internet...
Now if it ever happens one day that there's nothing left of me but a disembodied brain in a jar hooked up to the Internet, then I'm sure I'll become a regular on several forums in addition to blogging. (Guys, please don't try to pretend that you never plan what you'll do if you're ever reduced to nothing but a disembodied brain in a jar.) But for the moment, my system is to focus on blogging only.
The birds and the bees and the whales...
He didn't have any follow-up questions. I guess since whales have a lot of body parts in common with people (eyes, mouths), it seemed perfectly reasonable to him that the daddy whale should have a zizi. (Indeed, a whale of a big zizi...)
Discrimination against homosexuals: why? why? why???
Gay marriage obviously fits right into the modern marriage model: neither partner is the expected master, neither is the expected servant; you expect to marry the person you love rather than being expected to marry for economic/dynastic reasons. Naturally gay people want to get in on this cultural innovation -- why wouldn't they?
Polytheism vs. Monotheism + Omnipotence
Then there's the question of followers. If I understand correctly, the pagan gods liked to have followers give them sacrifices because, well, sacrifices are tasty and/or they increase the particular god's strength or something like that. On the other hand, the unique, omnipotent God likes to have followers worshiping Him because...... ?????
It takes a lot of faith to believe that!!!
The interesting thing isn’t what this says about the speaker’s opinion of atheism or evolution. The thing that’s striking is what it says about the speaker’s opinion of faith.
Challenges and Pleasures of Mormon lit: In Our Lovely Deseret, edited by Robert Raleigh
Another elephant in the room of Mormon lit -- perhaps an even bigger one than belief vs. unbelief -- is sexuality. One of the oft-cited draws of (mainstream) Mormon lit is that it's "clean". A huge portion of the LDS audience doesn't want to be reading along and encounter a sex scene, and many (most?) LDS authors agree with the audience about it and are more than happy to oblige. But this taboo -- its causes, its effects, its relation to the Mormon emphasis on family -- turns sexuality into one of the most fascinating aspects of Mormon culture to explore.
Modern Baal worship??? Um, is that a joke?
When I read the synopsis ("Exposes Islam as a conspiracy of the Catholic church and, by proxy, Satan"), I thought the synopsis writer had to exaggerating or something. Nope. That's really what's in that one. The impressive part isn't so much the efficiency of it (insults both Muslims and Catholics in one stroke!) as the creativity of it. I mean, how would you even come up with such a thing?
Do you want to live forever? or the many reasons why I don't like death...
But then here's the problem: Suppose you live exactly the full life you set out to live and accomplish everything you ever wanted to accomplish. Who does that really matter to? It matters to you. But then after you're dead it doesn't matter to you anymore because nothing matters to you anymore -- you're dead. You could try living your life to make a positive impact on other people that will continue after your death. But someday they'll be dead too. Hmmm.
This is why I try not to think about this.
The Good News about Atheists!: Hemant Mehta's I Sold My Soul on eBay
We've all heard about how atheists are the most hated and mistrusted minority in America. Well, what are we going to do about it? We're going to get out there and say to our friends and neighbors "Hi, I'm so-and-so, and I'm a member of your community and an ordinary person -- not the sort of bogeyman you might imagine atheists to be..." Hemant Mehta sets a great example of how to keep your tone positive and constructive when talking to Christians so you can help people see the friendly face of atheism.
How I became an atheist
But weirdly it was the beginning of the end. As long as I wasn't sure I'd ever received any spiritual witness, I didn't feel qualified to criticize that type of evidence. But once I had some spiritual evidence of my own, I had something concrete to question. And as soon as I started putting some weight on my evidence -- to rely on it for my belief -- the doubts started to squeeze out. That guy is a talented speaker. He's probably given that same devotional hundreds of times. He knows how to tell his story in such a way that it generates an emotional response in his audience. No supernatural explanation required...
The parable of criticism is a compliment
When I arrived in Paris, I had plenty of opportunity to practice my new skill on the people of the math department I was visiting. And it seemed like everybody was complimenting me on how well I spoke French, to which I would respond with a faux-modest "merci" and then launch into the grand epic tale of how I'd taught myself to speak French. That was one of the stories I was really, really good at telling in French. ;^)
Jesus and the death penalty
I realize that a lot of Christians oppose the death penalty on principle. However, it seems like Christian opposition to the death penalty should be essentially universal, given that they believe the state can make such a colossal blunder that not only random innocent people -- but in fact the most innocent person of all -- might be wrongly put to death.
Steal this idea: Greetings from the opposite of America!!!
Bill Maher gives an excellent modern example: Health care. Why is U.S. health care in the state it's currently in? Why, it's because American health care is the best in the world!!! And la-la-la I'm putting my fingers in my ears and not listening to you if you say anything different!!!
Family History: Moonshine
And so whenever I see a hidden still in the backwoods portrayed in movies or television, part of me is thinking: "Yep, my ancestors did that." ;^)
More whale naughty bits!!!
Some bloggers get annoyed when their blogs attract search queries that look like they may be from weirdos. But I'm not like that. Whenever I get those weirdo queries, I like to see it as just more free data for my inner anthropologist. Plus only cool people read my blog, so I'm willing to give these people the benefit of the doubt!
If they're looking for such an image, I'm sure they have some legitimate scientific and/or whale fetish purpose for wanting to see whales getting it on.
All about Lourdes!!!
If you look closely at the photos above, you can see the candle box says (in several languages) "This flame continues my prayer." So apparently you start praying, and lighting a candle holds the line open with God while you go off and do something else. I thought it was pretty hilarious when Mr. Deity called dinner blessings "spam", but the Catholics have gone one step farther -- they actually call up God and put Him on hold!!!
Is religion the problem?
Regardless of what is written in any official holy book, most people are going to act in their best interest. When it's time for war, those who like the scriptures about God killing all the infidels will rise to power, and when it's time for peace, those who prefer the passages about God loving everyone will rise to power. I figure we might as well make friends with that latter group and compare notes with them. They're the ones who are in a position to sway the (political) opinions of the average believer.
Why I'm a bad mom, part 2
I taught my kids about Buddha kind of unintentionally. One time a colleague went on a business trip to China and brought back tiny Buddha statues for everyone, as souvenirs. I gave mine to my kids to use as a toy. All I told them about him was that his name is Buddha, so naturally they put him with their Spiderman, Batman, and Superman figurines (and dubbed him "Buddha-man").
Persepolis
Part of me wants to call it entertaining, but I'm dancing around that word because of the horror and violence of the film. It is quite the opposite of the typical "entertaining" movie violence we see these days (visually graphic, emotionally distant) because even though the visuals are simplistic cartoons, you know that the violence being portrayed is very real.
Harry Potter vs. Jesus
I'm not going to try to prove the case either way, just throw out some ideas and let you decide. As a control, I'll compare these two stories to two other famous self-sacrificing-nonpermanent-death scenes from popular culture: It's a Wonderful Life and Star Trek II.
"He has his faults, such as being a perverted-democrat-atheist, but...
In concrete terms, when I get home from a hard day at work, I want to be able to kick off my shoes, grab a beer, and relax. I don't want to hear my husband telling me that he's praying about this or that or about the progress he's making in trying to get intelligent design taught in schools, etc. At the same time, I wouldn't want to be married to someone and have him feel like he can't tell me about things that are important to him because I wouldn't agree or be supportive. That's not to say that we have to agree on everything, but at least on the fundamentals and basic values...
Sunday, July 29, 2007
More tales from the nude beach...
My post topless on the beach -- which I wrote nearly a year ago -- remains my #1 post, bringing in tons of hits from search engines every day.
I hadn't realized the subject of nude sunbathing was quite that interesting. At the time it was a post I tossed off practically as filler. But I'm starting to think that many of you out there in cyberspace have never been to a nude beach (or even a topless beach), and perhaps are curious. So in the interest of making sure my blog provides a valuable public service, today I'm going to try to remember more about the subject.
One question that comes up in a lot of search queries is about nude beaches for families. I personally didn't see many kids the few times I went to the nude beach in New Jersey, and the few I saw were very small. My impression is that bringing kids along for nudist activities is more a nude camping thing. I've never done that, but I've heard about it.
On the other hand, the beaches in France are full of kids, and partial nudity abounds. It's common for little kids to swim naked, and as I said in my earlier post, lots of the women go topless. I don't recall seeing that many moms going topless when they have kids with them, but I wasn't really looking out for that.
Another very common topic for search queries is people being shy about going topless on the beach for the first time. That seems like a pretty logical topic to wonder about since it must happen: A woman wants to go to the nude beach because all her friends are doing it, but she's shy about it. Really, that's kind of an erotic image. Unfortunately I don't have any anecdotes about that because I've never seen any obvious examples. All the people I've seen going nude or partially nude looked like they were either completely blasé about the whole thing or they were actually getting off on it. I know in my own case that was the whole draw: the thought of all these random strangers wanting to get a good look. So when the guy I was with would tell me about this or that guy taking an extra long look (apparently they wouldn't do it much when I was looking at them, but they were ignoring my companion), it was kind of amusing. For my inner anthropologist.
It's a good idea to go with a guy, though, because that way all of the random strangers keep their distance. Whenever we would get separated (if one of us would have to go get something) guys would come around and try to start a conversation with me. It's probably absurd of me to be annoyed by that, but I guess on some level I'd decided that the rules of the game should be "look, don't pester" and those guys were ruining it for everybody. Maybe other ladies feel differently, and in that case they're better off going to the nude beach with other women.
(Feminists will probably be annoyed that I'm taking it for granted that guys will assume that a group of women together are fair game for being hit on. But seriously, if you'd like to go hang out with a bunch of other women without having random guys hit on you, the straight area of the nude beach is the wrong choice.)
One funny thing that happened when I was at the nude beach was that I saw a guy get a citation for public urination. Apparently for some people the mere fact of being covered by pants is their primary inhibition from peeing -- not hygiene or social convention or stuff like that. As soon as the guy was done, a beach cop drove up in a beach buggy and chewed him out, pointing out the public toilets not far away.
That was the only time I've ever seen anyone get a ticket for public urination. I've certainly never seen anyone get in trouble for it here in France. Now that I think about it, I'm not sure it's even illegal here. After all, with all the dog crap in the streets, who's going to notice a little human urine here and there?
That's all I can think of for the moment. I wish I had more stories for you, but I didn't go that many times...
I hadn't realized the subject of nude sunbathing was quite that interesting. At the time it was a post I tossed off practically as filler. But I'm starting to think that many of you out there in cyberspace have never been to a nude beach (or even a topless beach), and perhaps are curious. So in the interest of making sure my blog provides a valuable public service, today I'm going to try to remember more about the subject.
One question that comes up in a lot of search queries is about nude beaches for families. I personally didn't see many kids the few times I went to the nude beach in New Jersey, and the few I saw were very small. My impression is that bringing kids along for nudist activities is more a nude camping thing. I've never done that, but I've heard about it.
On the other hand, the beaches in France are full of kids, and partial nudity abounds. It's common for little kids to swim naked, and as I said in my earlier post, lots of the women go topless. I don't recall seeing that many moms going topless when they have kids with them, but I wasn't really looking out for that.
Another very common topic for search queries is people being shy about going topless on the beach for the first time. That seems like a pretty logical topic to wonder about since it must happen: A woman wants to go to the nude beach because all her friends are doing it, but she's shy about it. Really, that's kind of an erotic image. Unfortunately I don't have any anecdotes about that because I've never seen any obvious examples. All the people I've seen going nude or partially nude looked like they were either completely blasé about the whole thing or they were actually getting off on it. I know in my own case that was the whole draw: the thought of all these random strangers wanting to get a good look. So when the guy I was with would tell me about this or that guy taking an extra long look (apparently they wouldn't do it much when I was looking at them, but they were ignoring my companion), it was kind of amusing. For my inner anthropologist.
It's a good idea to go with a guy, though, because that way all of the random strangers keep their distance. Whenever we would get separated (if one of us would have to go get something) guys would come around and try to start a conversation with me. It's probably absurd of me to be annoyed by that, but I guess on some level I'd decided that the rules of the game should be "look, don't pester" and those guys were ruining it for everybody. Maybe other ladies feel differently, and in that case they're better off going to the nude beach with other women.
(Feminists will probably be annoyed that I'm taking it for granted that guys will assume that a group of women together are fair game for being hit on. But seriously, if you'd like to go hang out with a bunch of other women without having random guys hit on you, the straight area of the nude beach is the wrong choice.)
One funny thing that happened when I was at the nude beach was that I saw a guy get a citation for public urination. Apparently for some people the mere fact of being covered by pants is their primary inhibition from peeing -- not hygiene or social convention or stuff like that. As soon as the guy was done, a beach cop drove up in a beach buggy and chewed him out, pointing out the public toilets not far away.
That was the only time I've ever seen anyone get a ticket for public urination. I've certainly never seen anyone get in trouble for it here in France. Now that I think about it, I'm not sure it's even illegal here. After all, with all the dog crap in the streets, who's going to notice a little human urine here and there?
That's all I can think of for the moment. I wish I had more stories for you, but I didn't go that many times...
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
More whale naughty bits!!!
Ever since I posted about the birds and the bees and the whales I've gotten a whole bunch of search queries by people looking for pictures of whale genitals.
Why? I have no idea.
Some bloggers get annoyed when their blogs attract search queries that look like they may be from weirdos. But I'm not like that. Whenever I get those weirdo queries, I like to see it as just more free data for my inner anthropologist. Plus only cool people read my blog, so I'm willing to give these people the benefit of the doubt!
If they're looking for such an image, I'm sure they have some legitimate scientific and/or whale fetish purpose for wanting to see whales getting it on.
So without further ado, here's the picture you're looking for:
a whale of a big zizi
(I've linked to the image instead of inlining it to protect those with more delicate sensibilities.)
See that big pointy white thing in the picture? Yes, that is what you think it is.
(I bet you thought I was going to link to some entirely different picture just to be funny. Nah, the real thing is funny enough.)
Poor whale!!! He probably had no idea that he was going to become a porn star!!!
Actually it's possible that this may be the largest penis ever filmed in a sex scene. According to the documentary the testicles alone weigh more than a full ton!!! Mere human porn stars -- eat your hearts out!!! ;-)
Why? I have no idea.
Some bloggers get annoyed when their blogs attract search queries that look like they may be from weirdos. But I'm not like that. Whenever I get those weirdo queries, I like to see it as just more free data for my inner anthropologist. Plus only cool people read my blog, so I'm willing to give these people the benefit of the doubt!
If they're looking for such an image, I'm sure they have some legitimate scientific and/or whale fetish purpose for wanting to see whales getting it on.
So without further ado, here's the picture you're looking for:
a whale of a big zizi
(I've linked to the image instead of inlining it to protect those with more delicate sensibilities.)
See that big pointy white thing in the picture? Yes, that is what you think it is.
(I bet you thought I was going to link to some entirely different picture just to be funny. Nah, the real thing is funny enough.)
Poor whale!!! He probably had no idea that he was going to become a porn star!!!
Actually it's possible that this may be the largest penis ever filmed in a sex scene. According to the documentary the testicles alone weigh more than a full ton!!! Mere human porn stars -- eat your hearts out!!! ;-)
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Nice, friendly naked people...
Okay, one more post about funny search queries that have led people to my blog (such as the title of this post).
My earlier post may have given you the idea that every morning I'm sitting at my computer -- coffee mug in hand -- reading the logs of my blog's statcounter and chuckling over all of the hilarious search queries.
That impression would be absolutely correct.
If you found this blog through a search engine, you may rest assured that I will read your query search terms. And if they're funny, I'll have a good laugh about it!!! (But remember, I'm laughing with you, not at you. No, really!!!)
This blog attracts the most hilarious queries!!! Unfortunately, I can't give you too many examples since I don't normally save them. I was just saving the sex/nudity related ones for anthropological research, but I've stopped doing even that since it's too time-consuming.
I've saved a few, though. One confusing one I got recently was this: "how to talk to my father about the birds and the bees."
I read that one and thought: "Wait a minute -- you don't talk to your parents about the birds and the bees, you talk to your kids about that." Then I thought maybe the search query was actually typed by a kid. That made it even more confusing since I was thinking "Why do you need to ask your parents about sex if you know how to use google?"
Oh, well. Hopefully my birds and bees and whales post was helpful to this person... ;-)
But I think my all-time favorite was when someone came in on a search for "nice, friendly naked people."
Because I cover a lot of topics on this blog (living in France, literature, feminism/sexuality/politics, parenting, cultural Mormon community, Mormonism in general, my family, my fond memories, etc.), but when it comes right down to it, that's what this blog is really all about: nice, friendly naked people. ;-)
My earlier post may have given you the idea that every morning I'm sitting at my computer -- coffee mug in hand -- reading the logs of my blog's statcounter and chuckling over all of the hilarious search queries.
That impression would be absolutely correct.
If you found this blog through a search engine, you may rest assured that I will read your query search terms. And if they're funny, I'll have a good laugh about it!!! (But remember, I'm laughing with you, not at you. No, really!!!)
This blog attracts the most hilarious queries!!! Unfortunately, I can't give you too many examples since I don't normally save them. I was just saving the sex/nudity related ones for anthropological research, but I've stopped doing even that since it's too time-consuming.
I've saved a few, though. One confusing one I got recently was this: "how to talk to my father about the birds and the bees."
I read that one and thought: "Wait a minute -- you don't talk to your parents about the birds and the bees, you talk to your kids about that." Then I thought maybe the search query was actually typed by a kid. That made it even more confusing since I was thinking "Why do you need to ask your parents about sex if you know how to use google?"
Oh, well. Hopefully my birds and bees and whales post was helpful to this person... ;-)
But I think my all-time favorite was when someone came in on a search for "nice, friendly naked people."
Because I cover a lot of topics on this blog (living in France, literature, feminism/sexuality/politics, parenting, cultural Mormon community, Mormonism in general, my family, my fond memories, etc.), but when it comes right down to it, that's what this blog is really all about: nice, friendly naked people. ;-)
Thursday, February 22, 2007
So, who wants to see some sexy topless nude beach sunbathing photos?
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
I've really got to stop doing that. But I can't stop because it's just too funny!!! ;-)
But I have to be honest here -- I found it at once hilarious and fascinating that my topless on the beach post attracted so many search queries from so many places around the world. I'd posted stuff about sex before, so I expected to get a few blogsearch click-throughs for it. But it really took me by surprise to see how many more searches this one attracted than any others, including posts that contained potentially harder-core key words.
The funny thing is that I feel like on some level I've found some worldwide cross-cultural common ground. I know you're thinking "Chanson, that's horrible that the one time you find some common ground among all of the nations of the world it's the discovery that guys everywhere want to look at pictures of ladies' boobies!!!" But really it's more than just that. It's pretty clear that some of these people were looking for pictures of naked men. ;-)
Plus the sneaky thing is that I didn't even post any naked pictures!!! (Well, except those silly cartoons.)
Haha, I'm such a tease!!! I was directing all of these naughty people to some discussions of feminist topics such as the above post and my other posts about feminism & sexuality.
So without further ado, I'll answer my question: "Who wants to see some sexy topless nude beach sunbathing photos?"
Idaho, Boise, United States: topless european beach
Texas, Houston, United States: photos of topless beach goers
Texas, Georgetown, United States: beach nudes
Massachusetts, Woburn, United States: "my blog" "on the beach" photo sun bathing
Bulgaria: Nude Beach mens
Virginia, Reston, United States: canadian female topless
North Carolina, Charlotte, United States: topless beach photos
South Wales, Sydney, Australia: naughty naked adventures site
England, Manchester, United Kingdom: topless british beaches
New Jersey, Willingboro, United States: first time at nude beach
India: topless french tourists
Louisiana, New Orleans, United States: GOING TOPLESS STORIES
Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, United States: blog nude beach new jersey
England, London, United Kingdom: topless bathers
New Mexico, Albuquerque, United States: nude beach
District Of Columbia, Washington, United States: estonia topless
Oklahoma, Oklahoma City, United States: topless bathers
New York, Clifton Park, United States: first time on beach topless
Colorado, Colorado Springs, United States: bikini beach topless vacation
Spain: WOMEN IN TOP LESS IN THE BEACH
California, Vacaville, United States: artful nudes
Connecticut, Bridgeport, United States: marseille nude beach
Noord-holland, Amsterdam, Netherlands: nude beaches stories
United Kingdom: nude beach
Ohio, Columbus, United States: naked female programmers
British Columbia, Vancouver, Canada: topless parents vacation
England, London, United Kingdom: beaches were women can go topless with pictures of them
Emilia-romagna, Bologna, Italy: my first time topless beach
Namibia: PHOTOS OF FRENCH BEACHES
Virginia, Herndon, United States: topless women, beaches
Utah, Tooele, United States: mormon nudes
Italy: nude beach in italy
Illinois, Wood Dale, United States: NUDE PHOTO BLOGSPOT
Ile-de-france, Paris, France: topless french beach
Massachusetts, Newburyport, United States: french breasts on beach
Queensland, Brisbane, Australia: topless students
Western Australia, Perth, Australia: gorgeous female bodies nude on the beach
Ile-de-france, Paris, France: english girls sunbathing topless
Ile-de-france, Paris, France: gay beaches aquitaine pictures
Ohio, Cincinnati, United States: photo beaches topless
England, London, United Kingdom: beach topless women
Tamil Nadu, Chennai, India: complete nude beaches
Australia: topless beach goers
New York, New York, United States: mormon nudes
Italy: top bikini beach topless bare breasts
Georgia, Valdosta, United States: nude beach pics real deal
Missouri, St. Louis, United States: going topless beach story
United States: lets go to europe to nude beachs
Antwerpen, Antwerp, Belgium: first time topless
Al Qahirah, Cairo, Egypt: pictures for topless beaches
Texas, Dallas, United States: nude beach stories
Arizona, Phoenix, United States: nude bar
California, San Francisco, United States: estonia beaches topless
North Carolina, Hillsborough, United States: bikini nude beaches
California, Costa Mesa, United States: beach pictures france TOPLESS
Indiana, Indianapolis, United States: cute naked men
Arizona, Tempe, United States: gay nude sunbathing AZ
Florida, Tallahassee, United States: french nude beaches
England, Stockport, United Kingdom: gone topless
Massachusetts, Chestnut Hill, United States: new jersey nude beach story
Italy: european vacation red bikini topless
South Carolina, Anderson, United States: beach nudity
Queensland, Brisbane, Australia: shy to go topless stories
New Jersey, Mt. Laurel, United States: no swimsuit beach goers
Bayern, Munich, Germany: topless beach blogspot
California, Chatsworth, United States: topless beaches
Ontario, Burlington, Canada: nude beach women
Dublin, Dublin, Ireland: topless beach shy
New Jersey, Hawthorne, United States: "going to the nude beach" "first time"
Ohio, Cincinnati, United States: NUDE BEACH WEAR
Michigan, Rockford, United States: my nude vacation pictures
New York, Brooklyn, United States: topless latvian
Midi-pyrenees, Toulouse, France: first time topless beach
Pennsylvania, Coraopolis, United States: nude bar
Saudi Arabia: bikini top less
Wisconsin, Sun Prairie, United States: bikini vacation
England, London, United Kingdom: swiss beach topless
France: Beach Topless
New South Wales, Sydney, Australia: clevage topless
Pennsylvania, Halifax, United States: topless beaches
Manitoba, Brandon, Canada: nude fun french beach
Virginia, Centreville, United States: nude beach topless
United States: topless france beach
England, Nottingham, United Kingdom: topless first time
New Hampshire, Jaffrey, United States: topless women on beach
British Columbia, Vancouver, Canada: nude beaches france
Pennsylvania, York, United States: topless beach first time
New York, Bronx, United States: topless beaches pictures
United Kingdom: see me topless
United Kingdom: nude beach experiences
Arizona, Phoenix, United States: az nudes
California, Rancho Cucamonga, United States: Tasteful Nudes having sex
England, Portsmouth, United Kingdom: caught topless at the beach
Etela-suomen Laani, Loviisa, Finland: marseille nude beach
New South Wales, Sydney, Australia: clevage topless
Alberta, Calgary, Canada: topless German beach
Wisconsin, Milwaukee, United States: first topless vacation
California, West Hollywood, United States: "point dume" nude
Illinois, Wood Dale, United States: topless beach pictures blogspot
England, London, United Kingdom: artful nudes beach
Karnataka, Bangalore, India: men and women nude on beach
Ohio, Troy, United States: naked people
Michigan, Troy, United States: topless swimming beach
Poland: nude beach women
Rheinland-pfalz, Bitburg, Germany: mormons having sex
England, London, United Kingdom: topless france sunbathing
Washington, Seattle, United States: going to a topless beach
Nordrhein-westfalen, Leverkusen, Germany: topless beach
District Of Columbia, Washington, United States: topless beaches of europe
England, London, United Kingdom: beach men blogspot
District Of Columbia, Washington, United States: i love nude beaches
Khania, Souda, Greece: nude beach stories
Washington, Seattle, United States: artful nudes
California, Irvine, United States: topless beach
Jiangsu, Jiangsu, China: nude beach
Wilayah Persekutuan, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia: topless beach goers
Lombardia, Milano, Italy: south france topless love beach
India: naked beaches
Maryland, Silver Spring, United States: middle aged women topless at beach
South Africa: nude running on the beach with surfboard
Lazio, Rome, Italy: topless first time
Bahrain: Nude Beach
Florida, Orlando, United States: topless first time
Iowa, Clinton, United States: stories of girls going topless for the first time
Massachusetts, Fall River, United States: nude beaches
New York, New York, United States: no-clothes beach
United Kingdom: vacation shots topless
Germany: Latvia beach foto nude
Ontario, Burlington, Canada: Mediterranean nude beaches pictures
Illinois, Chicago, United States: topless women on the beach
New Jersey, Mt. Laurel, United States: nude beach guys
Ontario, Ottawa, Canada: beach-nude blogspot
Pennsylvania, West Chester, United States: topless first time beach
Bretagne, Rennes, France: beach topless
California, Woodland Hills, United States: nude beach
England, London, United Kingdom: just topless on the beach
Hamburg, Hamburg, Germany: topless europe
Utah, Sandy, United States: do mormon women go topless
New Jersey, Randolph, United States: artful nudes
Georgia, Atlanta, United States: native woman in africa topless
New York, Bronx, United States: going topless first time
Georgia, Atlanta, United States: sexy beach topless europe
New Jersey, Mt. Laurel, United States: first topless beach vacation
Zuid-holland, The Hague, Netherlands: beach sunbathing topless naked
New York, Brooklyn, United States: nude beach
Maharashtra, Mumbai, India: topless beaches Switzerland
Pennsylvania, Downingtown, United States: new jersey nude beach picture
Maine, Bar Harbor, United States: going on a topless beach for the first time
Noord-holland, Alkmaar, Netherlands: topless on the beach
Minnesota, Rochester, United States: nude photo of myself
Czech Republic: nude beaches france
California, San Francisco, United States: topless beach
Manitoba, Winkler, Canada: WILLING WOMEN GO TOPLESS
Singapore, Queenstown, Singapore: nude beach pictures
Madrid, Madrid, Spain: nude
Timis, Timisoara, Romania: nude beach pictures
Noord-holland, Amsterdam, Netherlands: beach topless
Maryland, Silver Spring, United States: nude beach
Saudi Arabia: nude beaches
Maharashtra, Mumbai, India: nude beach
Texas, Pt. Neches, United States: NUDE BEACH
Ontario, Toronto, Canada: nude beach
Scotland, Glasgow, United Kingdom: CLEVAGE
Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, United States: nude photo blogs
Lombardia, Cremona, Italy: TOPLESS BEACH
New Jersey, Thorofare, United States: nude beach
Germany: nude beach
California, Cupertino, United States: nude beach
Wilayah Persekutuan, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia: nude beach picture
Texas, Pt. Neches, United States: french nude beaches
Massachusetts, North Chelmsford, United States: nude beach
Italy: topless beach
Wisconsin, Milwaukee, United States: nude beach
Italy: topless at the beach
Wilayah Persekutuan, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia: nude blog
Argentina: nude beach
North Carolina, Fuquay Varina, United States: sunbathing topless
Maharashtra, Mumbai, India: nude beaches
Florida, Lake City, United States: clevage
Ontario, Ottawa, Canada: nude beach
Illinois, Springfield, United States: beach sexy france
New York, New York, United States: topless men
New Jersey, Mt. Laurel, United States: topless beach stories
Maale, Male, Maldives: naked beaches
Massachusetts, Plymouth, United States: topless beach stories&
New Jersey, Bayville, United States: nude beaches nj
New York, New York, United States: nude sunbathing mom son
North Carolina, Raleigh, United States: topless european beach pictures
Victoria, Ballarat, Australia: mens bathers france
Victoria, Melbourne, Australia: topless bathers
United Kingdom: topless beach stories
England, London, United Kingdom: french nude beach
Bashkortostan, Ufa, Russian Federation: sand beach naked
Baden-wurttemberg, Freiburg Im Breisgau, Germany: MET nude beach
New Jersey, Mt. Laurel, United States: nude beach topless
Washington, Spokane, United States: french nude beaches
England, London, United Kingdom: french beach topless women photo
New South Wales, Tamworth, Australia: topless river seine
Victoria, Melbourne, Australia: topless bathers
New South Wales, Sydney, Australia: topless beach germany
Cote D'ivoire: nude beach
Baden-wurttemberg, Stuttgart, Germany: topless beach
England, Nottingham, United Kingdom: topless native women
Cork, Cork, Ireland: my first time topless on a beach
California, Berkeley, United States: blogspot and nude
Mauritius: artful erotic nude photos
New Jersey, Livingston, United States: "my bikini" "in africa" me
Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh, United States: topless beaches
New York, Clifton Park, United States: FIRST TIME TOPLESS
Pennsylvania, York, United States: topless beach first time
Oost-vlaanderen, Gent, Belgium: nude beach family
Washington, Gig Harbor, United States: topless beach germany
Dublin, Dublin, Ireland: stories of topless beaches
United Arab Emirates: nude blog
Slovakia: nudity blogspot
United Kingdom: my husband took these photos of me sunbathing naked
New York, Bronx, United States: nude beach nj
Pennsylvania, Allentown, United States: women who like to go topless
Canada: topless beach
United States: naked on beach in front of husband
India: topless tourists in american beaches
Philippines: nude site:blogspot.com
England, London, United Kingdom: topless france
Florida, Tampa, United States: stories "nude beach"
Georgia, Atlanta, United States: topless sunbathe
New South Wales, Sydney, Australia: nudie pics of men and women
Maryland, Baltimore, United States: france sunbathing topless women photos
Oregon, Portland, United States: sunbathe topless
Michigan, Grand Rapids, United States: nude beach
Antwerpen, Antwerp, Belgium: topless beach france
Ontario, Ottawa, Canada: nude beach photo
Washington, Bellingham, United States: bikini topless beach
Gauteng, Johannesburg, South Africa: nude beach
Central, Colombo, Sri Lanka: nude beach
Canada: NUdity in front of
Paraná, Curitiba, Brazil: nude
Minnesota, St. Paul, United States: nude beach
Tamil Nadu, Chennai, India: nude on beach
Piemonte, Torino, Italy: topless beach
Ohio, Cincinnati, United States: clevage
Indonesia: nude beach
Wilayah Persekutuan, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia: woman sunbathing
Ontario, Toronto, Canada: topless sunbathing
Karnataka, Bangalore, India: topless beach photos
Alberta, Calgary, Canada: topless beaches
Ontario, Toronto, Canada: topless sunbathing
Michigan, Detroit, United States: nude beach
Budapest, Budapest, Hungary: nude beach
Greece: sunbathe topless
Texas, Midland, United States: nude beach
Singapore, Singapore, Singapore: nude beach naked
New York, Brooklyn, United States: nude beaches
Leningradskaya Oblast', Vyborg, Russian Federation: beach nude
South Africa: nude beach
California, Chico, United States: nude beaches
New York, Rosedale, United States: nude beach
Minnesota, Minneapolis, United States: nude beach
Dublin, Dublin, Ireland: german sunbathing
Idaho, Boise, United States: beach topless
United States: nude beach
Texas, Dallas, United States: nude beach
New Jersey, Princeton, United States: skinny dipping holes in arizona
Noord-holland, Amsterdam, Netherlands: topless
Virginia, Herndon, United States: nude beaches
United States: nude beach
England, London, United Kingdom: topless sunbathing experiences
Tennessee, Jackson, United States: nude
Singapore, Singapore, Singapore: nude
Michigan, Grosse Ile, United States: topless
Delhi, New Delhi, India: nude
Ohio, Cleveland, United States: nude
California, Elk Grove, United States: nude
Thailand: nude
Karnataka, Bangalore, India: nude
Turkey: nude
Indonesia: nude
Tamil Nadu, Chennai, India: nude
Virginia, Herndon, United States: nude
Ohio, Akron, United States: nude
Philippines: nude
Singapore: nude
Western Australia, Perth, Australia: bikini photo
Wilayah Persekutuan, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia: nude
New Zealand: nude
India: nude
United Arab Emirates: nude
Australia: nude
Georgia, Atlanta, United States: nude
Dubai, Dubai, United Arab Emirates: nude
Alabama, Birmingham, United States: nude
Tamil Nadu, Chennai, India: nude
Pennsylvania, Erie, United States: nude
Maharashtra, Mumbai, India: nude
Hong Kong, Hong Kong, Hong Kong: nude
Wisconsin, Milwaukee, United States: topless on the beach
United States: nude erotica
Ontario, Toronto, Canada: nude beach
England, London, United Kingdom: nude
New York, Wellsville, United States: nude
Shandong, Shandong, China: nude
United Arab Emirates: sexy photo blogs
Stockholm, Stockholm, Sweden: topless sunbathing
Ad Dawhah, Doha, Qatar: nude
Karnataka, Bangalore, India: nude
North Carolina, Chapel Hill: nude
New Jersey, Mt. Laurel, United States: nude
Missouri, Springfield, United States: nude
Ontario, Toronto, Canada: nude
Wisconsin, Madison, United States: nude
Krung Thep Mahanakhon, Bangkok, Thailand: nude
Georgia, Columbus, United States: nude
Georgia, Athens, United States: nude
India: beach nude pic
New Jersey, Jersey City, United States: nude
India: nude
Lombardia, Como, Italy: topless
Massachusetts, Natick: erotic writings
Italy: topless vacation
England, London, United Kingdom: topless beach site
Ontario, Toronto, Canada: nude beaches
Connecticut, Manchester, United States: nude
Georgia, Atlanta, United States: nude beach
New York, Brooklyn, United States: NUDE PICTURE
Wilayah Persekutuan, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia: naked in bar
British Columbia, Nanaimo, Canada: CLEVAGE
New Jersey, New Egypt, United States: nude beaches
Maharashtra, Mumbai, India: nude
Jawa Timur (djawa Timur), Surabaya, Indonesia: nude
England, Milton Keynes, United Kingdom: sexy marseilles beaches
Illinois, Elmhurst, United States: nude beaches
Tel Aviv, Tel Aviv, Israel: erotic nude art pic
New York, Astoria, United States: nude beach
Louisiana, New Orleans, United States: nude beaches
Scotland, Glasgow, United Kingdom: letters erotica
Wisconsin, Madison, United States: nude beaches
California, San Jose, United States: nude beach
Provence-alpes-cote D'azur, Marseille, France: men's nude
Washington, Gig Harbor, United States: dressing provocatively
New Jersey, Livingston, United States: topless expat me
New Jersey, Livingston, United States: nude site
California, Pine Grove, United States: Beach topless
New South Wales, Sydney, Australia: nude beaches
Lazio, Rome, Italy: topless
Nebraska, Lincoln, United States: nude beach
England, London, United Kingdom: nude beach
Oklahoma, Tulsa, United States: topless bikini bottom
Nordrhein-westfalen, Dortmund, Germany: NUDE BEACHES
Virginia, Martinsville, United States: beach nude
Michigan, Troy, United States: nude beach photos
Nord-pas-de-calais, Lille, France: men nude beach
New Jersey, Edison, United States: sexy beaches
California, Azusa, United States: nude beach
United Kingdom: topless first beach
Ile-de-france, Paris, France: nude beach
Colorado, Denver, United States: topless beaches
'amman, Amman, Jordan: nude beach pictures
Indonesia: beach nude photo
Ohio, Cleveland, United States: nude beach
Czech Republic: topless beach
Ohio, Cleveland, United States: nude beach
Washington, Seattle, United States: nude photo
Idaho, Boise, United States: female clevage
Massachusetts, Boston, United States: nude beach gay blogspot
Italy: topless
Quebec, Montreal, Canada: men topless
Maine, Yarmouth, United States: topless beaches
New Jersey, Bayonne, United States: topless
Ohio, Cleveland, United States: nude beach photos
California, Tehachapi, United States: nude beach photos
Maharashtra, Mumbai, India: nude beach
Hessen, Ruesselsheim, Germany: topless
Antwerpen, Antwerp, Belgium: beach topless
Italy: my nude
Italy: photo sexy beach
Nebraska, Omaha, United States: nude beaches
California, Tujunga, United States: point dume nude beach
California, Riverside, United States: nude beach
United States: nude beaches
Oregon, Portland, United States: nude beach
Oklahoma, Tulsa, United States: topless bikini
Dubai, Dubai, United Arab Emirates: beach topless
British Columbia, Victoria, Canada: nude beach photo
California, Los Angeles, United States: topless point dume
Dubai, Dubai, United Arab Emirates: nude beach
Gujarat, Surat, India: nude photo
District Of Columbia, Washington, United States: nude beaches
England, London, United Kingdom: beach nude picture
Delhi, New Delhi, India: topless beaches
England, London, United Kingdom: naturist beaches in france
Egypt: nude photo
Sardegna, Sassari, Italy: beach topless
District Of Columbia, Washington, United States: nude beach pictures
Gujarat, Ahmedabad, India: Nude beach pictures
Canterbury, Christchurch, New Zealand: Topless bathers pictures
California, Rancho Cucamonga, United States: nude beach
Alabama, Mobile, United States: men gay beach
Illinois, Aledo, United States: nude beach
New Jersey, Teterboro, United States: sexy beach
Serbia And Montenegro: nude beach
Italy: nude beach
New York, New York, United States: nude beach expat
Minnesota, Rochester, United States: nude beach
British Columbia, Victoria, Canada: nude beach
Akershus, Jessheim, Norway: nude walks
Indiana, Lafayette, United States: nude beach
Mississippi, Starkville, United States: nude beach
Morocco: nude
Uttar Pradesh, Lucknow, India: women in nude beach
Oslo, Oslo, Norway: nude beach
Georgia, Atlanta, United States: nude beach
Leningradskaya Oblast', Vyborg, Russian Federation: topless beach
Wisconsin, Madison, United States: nude photo blog
Utah, Salt Lake City, United States: sexy photo
England, London, United Kingdom: woods nude
Lombardia, Cremona, Italy: TOPLESS BEACH
Greece: nude beach
United States: nude beach
Istanbul, Istanbul, Turkey: beach topless pictures site
Ontario, Oakville, Canada: naked in cozumel
New York, Newburgh, United States: nude beaches
Idaho, Paul, United States: vacation topless "great time"
England, London, United Kingdom: brittany nude beaches
New Jersey, Bridgewater, United States: go topless
Spain: nude beach fun
New South Wales, Sydney, Australia: native topless
United Kingdom: erotic pictures
Maharashtra, Pune, India: topless bather
England, Stockport, United Kingdom: italy topless beach
United Arab Emirates: naked people
Maharashtra, Thane, India: nude sunbathing
Tokyo, Tokyo, Japan: aquitaine beach topless
Denmark: italy beach swimsuit topless
Ohio, Cincinnati, United States: SWISS NUDIST RESORTS
Ontario, Kitchener, Canada: sexy mormon women
Antwerpen, Antwerp, Belgium: TOPLESS BEACH GOERS
Australian Capital Territory, Canberra, Australia: guys bathers
Western Cape, Cape Town, South Africa: shy at topless beach stories
Kansas, Wichita, United States: first time nude beach
Oregon, Portland, United States: secluded topless beaches
Gauteng, Johannesburg, South Africa: topless bathers pics
Budapest, Budapest, Hungary: topless on the beach
England, Manchester, United Kingdom: friends bikini naked undressed beach people
Pennsylvania, West Chester, United States: going topless beach first time
United Kingdom: women sunbathing topless on the beach pics
Ohio, Chillicothe, United States: topless beaches switzerland
New York, New York, United States: we went to a topless beach
Northern Ireland, Belfast, United Kingdom: topless women on beach
Texas, Plano, United States: topless beach shy "first time"
Florida, Tarpon Springs, United States: foreign beaches nude vacation
Hawaii, Honolulu, United States: nude byu students pictures
New York, Great Neck, United States: nude leftist
Dubai, Dubai, United Arab Emirates: girls with nude attitude in beaches
Michigan, Detroit, United States: european topless beaches
Nebraska, Norfolk, United States: naked beach goers
Gibraltar: first time beach topless
Australia: europe nude beach
Kyonggi-do, Seoul, Korea, Republic Of: U.S.Nude Beaches
Massachusetts, Boston, United States: where can women go topless
Colorado, Aurora, United States: topless beaches vacations
England, Manchester, United Kingdom: topless beach
New Jersey, Livingston, United States: i went to a nude beach
Wien, Vienna, Austria: france south topless beach
California, Oceanside, United States: went to a nude beach
Wisconsin, Milwaukee, United States: topless beach bathers
Kansas, Olathe, United States: vacation nude beach first time story
Georgia, Norcross, United States: woman sunbathing nude
Poland: french nude beach
Ontario, Toronto, Canada: gay nude beaches italy
California, San Francisco, United States: topless france
Toscana, Florence, Italy: bare breasts beach top bikini topless
California, Los Angeles, United States: NUDE FRENCH BEACHES
Texas, Plano, United States: topless at the beach
England, Nottingham, United Kingdom: men watching woman on topless beach
Virginia, Wise, United States: mormon topless
Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh, United States: nude beaches
British Columbia, Surrey, Canada: topless beach pictures
Texas, San Antonio, United States: topless beach first time
South Carolina, Greenville, United States: german topless beaches
New Jersey, Clementon, United States: "topless beaches" italy
Canada: topless beach
Nebraska, Omaha, United States: orange beach naked
Gauteng, Johannesburg, South Africa: topless beach pics
Australian Capital Territory, Canberra, Australia: she went topless at the beach
Ha Noi, Hanoi, Viet Nam: a nude photo of myself
Colorado, Ft. Collins, United States: lets go topless
United States: skinny-dipping and nude sunbathing along the American River
New Zealand: rebecca loose beach nude photos
South Carolina, Sumter, United States: topless women on the beach
Georgia, Savannah, United States: topless beaches
California, La Quinta, United States: French topless bathers
British Columbia, Kelowna, Canada: Women on French Beaches
Michigan, Grand Rapids, United States: european nude beaches
Texas, Ft. Worth, United States: topless beaches
California, Long Beach, United States: photos of topless beaches europe
Ohio, Cincinnati, United States: naked people france
Coimbra, Coimbra, Portugal: brits topless
Arizona, Tucson, United States: topless seine
New York, Clifton Park, United States: topless beaches france
Ontario, Hamilton, Canada: topless beaches
Massachusetts, Boston, United States: first time topless beach
California, San Diego, United States: pretty nude beaches
Germany: topless beach
Maharashtra, Mumbai, India: topless beach culture
Delhi, Delhi, India: Germany topless beach
Tasmania, Devonport, Australia: topless bathers
Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh, United States: going topless at the beach
New York, Rego Park, United States: love nude beaches
New Jersey, Jersey City, United States: topless broad
British Columbia, Richmond, Canada: go naked beach photos
British Columbia, Surrey, Canada: partially nude photos taken on vacations with my wife
England, London, United Kingdom: camping france beach nude
Toscana, Florence, Italy: topless shy beach&hl
Florida, Englewood, United States: topless beach
New York, New Hyde Park, United States: going topless for husband
England, London, United Kingdom: first time topless
England, London, United Kingdom: nudist beaches s.w. france
New York, New York, United States: Go topless at the beach
Florida, Merritt Island, United States: topless beach stories
Manitoba, Brandon, Canada: nude beaches
Texas, Houston, United States: Orange Beach Topless
Switzerland: great topless bikini beach
Colorado, Colorado Springs, United States: see me topless
Texas, Texarkana, United States: nude ex-mormon
England, London, United Kingdom: topless english beach
Wellington, Wellington, New Zealand: topless on the beach
Ireland: nude beach france brittany
Idaho, Boise, United States: mormon nudes
Spain: blogspot beach nude
England, Manchester, United Kingdom: Mediterranean beach naked
Massachusetts, Boston, United States: first time on topless beach
New York, Rochester, United States: naked mormons
New York, Rochester, United States: europe sunbathe topless
New York, Bronx, United States: nude beaches
Florida, Inverness, United States: europe sunbathe topless
Iowa, Knoxville, United States: topless beach AND first time
Washington, Seattle, United States: french topless bathers
Nordrhein-westfalen, Dortmund, Germany: beach france nude
New Jersey, Denville, United States: european women sunbathe nude at beach
Ontario, Hamilton, Canada: nude beach fun
Portugal: topless at the beach
Bahamas: topless boats
New York, Bronx, United States: GAY NUDE HIKING BLOG
Germany: beach topless
Ile-de-france, Paris, France: beach women topless
Ontario, Toronto, Canada: naked beach bikini blogspot
Georgia, Atlanta, United States: topless stories beach
Washington, Snohomish, United States: europe beach topless
Nairobi Area, Nairobi, Kenya: Women topless dressing
California, Desert Hot Springs, United States: woman topless parade goers
New Jersey, Mt. Laurel, United States: Female topless cultures
Alberta, Edmonton, Canada: swiss naked people beach
Delhi, Delhi, India: topless females on beach
Ohio, Canton, United States: topless females on beaches
New York, Rochester, United States: first time topless beach
New Zealand: freckle face nudes
Maryland, Germantown, United States: topless surfing
Florida, Ft. Myers, United States: nudes, back view
India: Nude beaches
Hong Kong (sar), Hong Kong, Hong Kong: aquitaine beach nude
Ontario, Windsor, Canada: nude beaches thongs
Oklahoma, Tulsa, United States: italy topless beach pictures
Malta, Luqa, Malta: topless blogspot
Alabama, Birmingham, United States: nude people letters
England, London, United Kingdom: my first topless swim
Virginia, Richmond, United States: marseille beach topless
Qslo, Oslo, Norway: sunbathing nudes
Saskatchewan, Saskatoon, Canada: Nude Beaches
Nova Scotia, Halifax, Canada: real nude beach
New Jersey, Cherry Hill, United States: topless beach blog
Pennsylvania, Scranton, United States: first time topless beach
Nordrhein-westfalen, Dusseldorf, Germany: nude beach france aquitaine
Dubai, Dubai, United Arab Emirates: female beach valley ball
Brazil: TOPLES IM THE BEACH
Norway: topless woman on beach
Massachusetts, Hull, United States: topless beaches of france photos
Toscana, Florence, Italy: beach vacation topless husband bare breasts top bikini
England, London, United Kingdom: female first beach topless
Maharashtra, Mumbai, India: topless females on the beach
United States: topless mormon
Dublin, Dublin, Ireland: topless beach fun
Grad Zagreb, Zagreb, Croatia: erotica picture
New York, Brooklyn, United States: nude beach goers
Ile-de-france, Paris, France: why the French women are topless with the beach
Texas, Houston, United States: pictures of German women culture for them going topless
South Africa: almost nude beaches
Georgia, Atlanta, United States: straight guys on nude beach
Saudi Arabia: nude beach blogspot
New York, Syracuse, United States: family nude beaches
Utah, Orem, United States: naked mormon men
New Jersey, Livingston, United States: europe beach topless
Georgia, Norcross, United States: nude beach story
New York, New Hyde Park, United States: going topless on the beach
Ontario, Brampton, Canada: topless beach vacation
New York, West Point, United States: topless beach culture europe
Zuid-holland, The Hague, Netherlands: vacation topless
Missouri, Kansas City, United States: nudist resort OR beach "being naked"
District Of Columbia, Washington, United States: Do women go topless on French beaches
Australia: European women commonly go topless on beaches
Wisconsin, La Crosse, United States: naked people letters
One of the funniest things is how many people want to see naked people in other countries. Also, it's interesting how many people are interested in stories of people's first time at the nude beach, especially if they're shy about it. That's kind of a cute erotic fantasy. I should write a story about that -- I'm sure I could come up with something good...
Also, I love the way the one from Boise, Idaho specifies female clevage. Don't you just hate it when you do a blog search on clevage and it turns up pictures of some guy's butt clevage? lol!!! Precision, people!!! ;-)
This isn't nearly all of them either. My stats program doesn't send me the complete logs, so I had to copy/paste all of these by hand, and I missed a lot of them. As devoted as I am to anthropology, I actually got bored of copying these after a while...
Now I'm certain that every single one of these people clicked on my blog in hopes of finding a sexy picture of me. (Yes, I'm just that sexy!!! No, really!!! ;-) )
Unfortunately I don't have all that many, but I didn't want to disappoint you all, so I dug through my files and found this picture of me at the pool:
See that bikini clad blonde with the fabulous tan up on the platform?
That's not me. I'm the pasty-white lady in the foreground holding a toddler...
I've really got to stop doing that. But I can't stop because it's just too funny!!! ;-)
But I have to be honest here -- I found it at once hilarious and fascinating that my topless on the beach post attracted so many search queries from so many places around the world. I'd posted stuff about sex before, so I expected to get a few blogsearch click-throughs for it. But it really took me by surprise to see how many more searches this one attracted than any others, including posts that contained potentially harder-core key words.
The funny thing is that I feel like on some level I've found some worldwide cross-cultural common ground. I know you're thinking "Chanson, that's horrible that the one time you find some common ground among all of the nations of the world it's the discovery that guys everywhere want to look at pictures of ladies' boobies!!!" But really it's more than just that. It's pretty clear that some of these people were looking for pictures of naked men. ;-)
Plus the sneaky thing is that I didn't even post any naked pictures!!! (Well, except those silly cartoons.)
Haha, I'm such a tease!!! I was directing all of these naughty people to some discussions of feminist topics such as the above post and my other posts about feminism & sexuality.
So without further ado, I'll answer my question: "Who wants to see some sexy topless nude beach sunbathing photos?"
Idaho, Boise, United States: topless european beach
Texas, Houston, United States: photos of topless beach goers
Texas, Georgetown, United States: beach nudes
Massachusetts, Woburn, United States: "my blog" "on the beach" photo sun bathing
Bulgaria: Nude Beach mens
Virginia, Reston, United States: canadian female topless
North Carolina, Charlotte, United States: topless beach photos
South Wales, Sydney, Australia: naughty naked adventures site
England, Manchester, United Kingdom: topless british beaches
New Jersey, Willingboro, United States: first time at nude beach
India: topless french tourists
Louisiana, New Orleans, United States: GOING TOPLESS STORIES
Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, United States: blog nude beach new jersey
England, London, United Kingdom: topless bathers
New Mexico, Albuquerque, United States: nude beach
District Of Columbia, Washington, United States: estonia topless
Oklahoma, Oklahoma City, United States: topless bathers
New York, Clifton Park, United States: first time on beach topless
Colorado, Colorado Springs, United States: bikini beach topless vacation
Spain: WOMEN IN TOP LESS IN THE BEACH
California, Vacaville, United States: artful nudes
Connecticut, Bridgeport, United States: marseille nude beach
Noord-holland, Amsterdam, Netherlands: nude beaches stories
United Kingdom: nude beach
Ohio, Columbus, United States: naked female programmers
British Columbia, Vancouver, Canada: topless parents vacation
England, London, United Kingdom: beaches were women can go topless with pictures of them
Emilia-romagna, Bologna, Italy: my first time topless beach
Namibia: PHOTOS OF FRENCH BEACHES
Virginia, Herndon, United States: topless women, beaches
Utah, Tooele, United States: mormon nudes
Italy: nude beach in italy
Illinois, Wood Dale, United States: NUDE PHOTO BLOGSPOT
Ile-de-france, Paris, France: topless french beach
Massachusetts, Newburyport, United States: french breasts on beach
Queensland, Brisbane, Australia: topless students
Western Australia, Perth, Australia: gorgeous female bodies nude on the beach
Ile-de-france, Paris, France: english girls sunbathing topless
Ile-de-france, Paris, France: gay beaches aquitaine pictures
Ohio, Cincinnati, United States: photo beaches topless
England, London, United Kingdom: beach topless women
Tamil Nadu, Chennai, India: complete nude beaches
Australia: topless beach goers
New York, New York, United States: mormon nudes
Italy: top bikini beach topless bare breasts
Georgia, Valdosta, United States: nude beach pics real deal
Missouri, St. Louis, United States: going topless beach story
United States: lets go to europe to nude beachs
Antwerpen, Antwerp, Belgium: first time topless
Al Qahirah, Cairo, Egypt: pictures for topless beaches
Texas, Dallas, United States: nude beach stories
Arizona, Phoenix, United States: nude bar
California, San Francisco, United States: estonia beaches topless
North Carolina, Hillsborough, United States: bikini nude beaches
California, Costa Mesa, United States: beach pictures france TOPLESS
Indiana, Indianapolis, United States: cute naked men
Arizona, Tempe, United States: gay nude sunbathing AZ
Florida, Tallahassee, United States: french nude beaches
England, Stockport, United Kingdom: gone topless
Massachusetts, Chestnut Hill, United States: new jersey nude beach story
Italy: european vacation red bikini topless
South Carolina, Anderson, United States: beach nudity
Queensland, Brisbane, Australia: shy to go topless stories
New Jersey, Mt. Laurel, United States: no swimsuit beach goers
Bayern, Munich, Germany: topless beach blogspot
California, Chatsworth, United States: topless beaches
Ontario, Burlington, Canada: nude beach women
Dublin, Dublin, Ireland: topless beach shy
New Jersey, Hawthorne, United States: "going to the nude beach" "first time"
Ohio, Cincinnati, United States: NUDE BEACH WEAR
Michigan, Rockford, United States: my nude vacation pictures
New York, Brooklyn, United States: topless latvian
Midi-pyrenees, Toulouse, France: first time topless beach
Pennsylvania, Coraopolis, United States: nude bar
Saudi Arabia: bikini top less
Wisconsin, Sun Prairie, United States: bikini vacation
England, London, United Kingdom: swiss beach topless
France: Beach Topless
New South Wales, Sydney, Australia: clevage topless
Pennsylvania, Halifax, United States: topless beaches
Manitoba, Brandon, Canada: nude fun french beach
Virginia, Centreville, United States: nude beach topless
United States: topless france beach
England, Nottingham, United Kingdom: topless first time
New Hampshire, Jaffrey, United States: topless women on beach
British Columbia, Vancouver, Canada: nude beaches france
Pennsylvania, York, United States: topless beach first time
New York, Bronx, United States: topless beaches pictures
United Kingdom: see me topless
United Kingdom: nude beach experiences
Arizona, Phoenix, United States: az nudes
California, Rancho Cucamonga, United States: Tasteful Nudes having sex
England, Portsmouth, United Kingdom: caught topless at the beach
Etela-suomen Laani, Loviisa, Finland: marseille nude beach
New South Wales, Sydney, Australia: clevage topless
Alberta, Calgary, Canada: topless German beach
Wisconsin, Milwaukee, United States: first topless vacation
California, West Hollywood, United States: "point dume" nude
Illinois, Wood Dale, United States: topless beach pictures blogspot
England, London, United Kingdom: artful nudes beach
Karnataka, Bangalore, India: men and women nude on beach
Ohio, Troy, United States: naked people
Michigan, Troy, United States: topless swimming beach
Poland: nude beach women
Rheinland-pfalz, Bitburg, Germany: mormons having sex
England, London, United Kingdom: topless france sunbathing
Washington, Seattle, United States: going to a topless beach
Nordrhein-westfalen, Leverkusen, Germany: topless beach
District Of Columbia, Washington, United States: topless beaches of europe
England, London, United Kingdom: beach men blogspot
District Of Columbia, Washington, United States: i love nude beaches
Khania, Souda, Greece: nude beach stories
Washington, Seattle, United States: artful nudes
California, Irvine, United States: topless beach
Jiangsu, Jiangsu, China: nude beach
Wilayah Persekutuan, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia: topless beach goers
Lombardia, Milano, Italy: south france topless love beach
India: naked beaches
Maryland, Silver Spring, United States: middle aged women topless at beach
South Africa: nude running on the beach with surfboard
Lazio, Rome, Italy: topless first time
Bahrain: Nude Beach
Florida, Orlando, United States: topless first time
Iowa, Clinton, United States: stories of girls going topless for the first time
Massachusetts, Fall River, United States: nude beaches
New York, New York, United States: no-clothes beach
United Kingdom: vacation shots topless
Germany: Latvia beach foto nude
Ontario, Burlington, Canada: Mediterranean nude beaches pictures
Illinois, Chicago, United States: topless women on the beach
New Jersey, Mt. Laurel, United States: nude beach guys
Ontario, Ottawa, Canada: beach-nude blogspot
Pennsylvania, West Chester, United States: topless first time beach
Bretagne, Rennes, France: beach topless
California, Woodland Hills, United States: nude beach
England, London, United Kingdom: just topless on the beach
Hamburg, Hamburg, Germany: topless europe
Utah, Sandy, United States: do mormon women go topless
New Jersey, Randolph, United States: artful nudes
Georgia, Atlanta, United States: native woman in africa topless
New York, Bronx, United States: going topless first time
Georgia, Atlanta, United States: sexy beach topless europe
New Jersey, Mt. Laurel, United States: first topless beach vacation
Zuid-holland, The Hague, Netherlands: beach sunbathing topless naked
New York, Brooklyn, United States: nude beach
Maharashtra, Mumbai, India: topless beaches Switzerland
Pennsylvania, Downingtown, United States: new jersey nude beach picture
Maine, Bar Harbor, United States: going on a topless beach for the first time
Noord-holland, Alkmaar, Netherlands: topless on the beach
Minnesota, Rochester, United States: nude photo of myself
Czech Republic: nude beaches france
California, San Francisco, United States: topless beach
Manitoba, Winkler, Canada: WILLING WOMEN GO TOPLESS
Singapore, Queenstown, Singapore: nude beach pictures
Madrid, Madrid, Spain: nude
Timis, Timisoara, Romania: nude beach pictures
Noord-holland, Amsterdam, Netherlands: beach topless
Maryland, Silver Spring, United States: nude beach
Saudi Arabia: nude beaches
Maharashtra, Mumbai, India: nude beach
Texas, Pt. Neches, United States: NUDE BEACH
Ontario, Toronto, Canada: nude beach
Scotland, Glasgow, United Kingdom: CLEVAGE
Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, United States: nude photo blogs
Lombardia, Cremona, Italy: TOPLESS BEACH
New Jersey, Thorofare, United States: nude beach
Germany: nude beach
California, Cupertino, United States: nude beach
Wilayah Persekutuan, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia: nude beach picture
Texas, Pt. Neches, United States: french nude beaches
Massachusetts, North Chelmsford, United States: nude beach
Italy: topless beach
Wisconsin, Milwaukee, United States: nude beach
Italy: topless at the beach
Wilayah Persekutuan, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia: nude blog
Argentina: nude beach
North Carolina, Fuquay Varina, United States: sunbathing topless
Maharashtra, Mumbai, India: nude beaches
Florida, Lake City, United States: clevage
Ontario, Ottawa, Canada: nude beach
Illinois, Springfield, United States: beach sexy france
New York, New York, United States: topless men
New Jersey, Mt. Laurel, United States: topless beach stories
Maale, Male, Maldives: naked beaches
Massachusetts, Plymouth, United States: topless beach stories&
New Jersey, Bayville, United States: nude beaches nj
New York, New York, United States: nude sunbathing mom son
North Carolina, Raleigh, United States: topless european beach pictures
Victoria, Ballarat, Australia: mens bathers france
Victoria, Melbourne, Australia: topless bathers
United Kingdom: topless beach stories
England, London, United Kingdom: french nude beach
Bashkortostan, Ufa, Russian Federation: sand beach naked
Baden-wurttemberg, Freiburg Im Breisgau, Germany: MET nude beach
New Jersey, Mt. Laurel, United States: nude beach topless
Washington, Spokane, United States: french nude beaches
England, London, United Kingdom: french beach topless women photo
New South Wales, Tamworth, Australia: topless river seine
Victoria, Melbourne, Australia: topless bathers
New South Wales, Sydney, Australia: topless beach germany
Cote D'ivoire: nude beach
Baden-wurttemberg, Stuttgart, Germany: topless beach
England, Nottingham, United Kingdom: topless native women
Cork, Cork, Ireland: my first time topless on a beach
California, Berkeley, United States: blogspot and nude
Mauritius: artful erotic nude photos
New Jersey, Livingston, United States: "my bikini" "in africa" me
Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh, United States: topless beaches
New York, Clifton Park, United States: FIRST TIME TOPLESS
Pennsylvania, York, United States: topless beach first time
Oost-vlaanderen, Gent, Belgium: nude beach family
Washington, Gig Harbor, United States: topless beach germany
Dublin, Dublin, Ireland: stories of topless beaches
United Arab Emirates: nude blog
Slovakia: nudity blogspot
United Kingdom: my husband took these photos of me sunbathing naked
New York, Bronx, United States: nude beach nj
Pennsylvania, Allentown, United States: women who like to go topless
Canada: topless beach
United States: naked on beach in front of husband
India: topless tourists in american beaches
Philippines: nude site:blogspot.com
England, London, United Kingdom: topless france
Florida, Tampa, United States: stories "nude beach"
Georgia, Atlanta, United States: topless sunbathe
New South Wales, Sydney, Australia: nudie pics of men and women
Maryland, Baltimore, United States: france sunbathing topless women photos
Oregon, Portland, United States: sunbathe topless
Michigan, Grand Rapids, United States: nude beach
Antwerpen, Antwerp, Belgium: topless beach france
Ontario, Ottawa, Canada: nude beach photo
Washington, Bellingham, United States: bikini topless beach
Gauteng, Johannesburg, South Africa: nude beach
Central, Colombo, Sri Lanka: nude beach
Canada: NUdity in front of
Paraná, Curitiba, Brazil: nude
Minnesota, St. Paul, United States: nude beach
Tamil Nadu, Chennai, India: nude on beach
Piemonte, Torino, Italy: topless beach
Ohio, Cincinnati, United States: clevage
Indonesia: nude beach
Wilayah Persekutuan, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia: woman sunbathing
Ontario, Toronto, Canada: topless sunbathing
Karnataka, Bangalore, India: topless beach photos
Alberta, Calgary, Canada: topless beaches
Ontario, Toronto, Canada: topless sunbathing
Michigan, Detroit, United States: nude beach
Budapest, Budapest, Hungary: nude beach
Greece: sunbathe topless
Texas, Midland, United States: nude beach
Singapore, Singapore, Singapore: nude beach naked
New York, Brooklyn, United States: nude beaches
Leningradskaya Oblast', Vyborg, Russian Federation: beach nude
South Africa: nude beach
California, Chico, United States: nude beaches
New York, Rosedale, United States: nude beach
Minnesota, Minneapolis, United States: nude beach
Dublin, Dublin, Ireland: german sunbathing
Idaho, Boise, United States: beach topless
United States: nude beach
Texas, Dallas, United States: nude beach
New Jersey, Princeton, United States: skinny dipping holes in arizona
Noord-holland, Amsterdam, Netherlands: topless
Virginia, Herndon, United States: nude beaches
United States: nude beach
England, London, United Kingdom: topless sunbathing experiences
Tennessee, Jackson, United States: nude
Singapore, Singapore, Singapore: nude
Michigan, Grosse Ile, United States: topless
Delhi, New Delhi, India: nude
Ohio, Cleveland, United States: nude
California, Elk Grove, United States: nude
Thailand: nude
Karnataka, Bangalore, India: nude
Turkey: nude
Indonesia: nude
Tamil Nadu, Chennai, India: nude
Virginia, Herndon, United States: nude
Ohio, Akron, United States: nude
Philippines: nude
Singapore: nude
Western Australia, Perth, Australia: bikini photo
Wilayah Persekutuan, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia: nude
New Zealand: nude
India: nude
United Arab Emirates: nude
Australia: nude
Georgia, Atlanta, United States: nude
Dubai, Dubai, United Arab Emirates: nude
Alabama, Birmingham, United States: nude
Tamil Nadu, Chennai, India: nude
Pennsylvania, Erie, United States: nude
Maharashtra, Mumbai, India: nude
Hong Kong, Hong Kong, Hong Kong: nude
Wisconsin, Milwaukee, United States: topless on the beach
United States: nude erotica
Ontario, Toronto, Canada: nude beach
England, London, United Kingdom: nude
New York, Wellsville, United States: nude
Shandong, Shandong, China: nude
United Arab Emirates: sexy photo blogs
Stockholm, Stockholm, Sweden: topless sunbathing
Ad Dawhah, Doha, Qatar: nude
Karnataka, Bangalore, India: nude
North Carolina, Chapel Hill: nude
New Jersey, Mt. Laurel, United States: nude
Missouri, Springfield, United States: nude
Ontario, Toronto, Canada: nude
Wisconsin, Madison, United States: nude
Krung Thep Mahanakhon, Bangkok, Thailand: nude
Georgia, Columbus, United States: nude
Georgia, Athens, United States: nude
India: beach nude pic
New Jersey, Jersey City, United States: nude
India: nude
Lombardia, Como, Italy: topless
Massachusetts, Natick: erotic writings
Italy: topless vacation
England, London, United Kingdom: topless beach site
Ontario, Toronto, Canada: nude beaches
Connecticut, Manchester, United States: nude
Georgia, Atlanta, United States: nude beach
New York, Brooklyn, United States: NUDE PICTURE
Wilayah Persekutuan, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia: naked in bar
British Columbia, Nanaimo, Canada: CLEVAGE
New Jersey, New Egypt, United States: nude beaches
Maharashtra, Mumbai, India: nude
Jawa Timur (djawa Timur), Surabaya, Indonesia: nude
England, Milton Keynes, United Kingdom: sexy marseilles beaches
Illinois, Elmhurst, United States: nude beaches
Tel Aviv, Tel Aviv, Israel: erotic nude art pic
New York, Astoria, United States: nude beach
Louisiana, New Orleans, United States: nude beaches
Scotland, Glasgow, United Kingdom: letters erotica
Wisconsin, Madison, United States: nude beaches
California, San Jose, United States: nude beach
Provence-alpes-cote D'azur, Marseille, France: men's nude
Washington, Gig Harbor, United States: dressing provocatively
New Jersey, Livingston, United States: topless expat me
New Jersey, Livingston, United States: nude site
California, Pine Grove, United States: Beach topless
New South Wales, Sydney, Australia: nude beaches
Lazio, Rome, Italy: topless
Nebraska, Lincoln, United States: nude beach
England, London, United Kingdom: nude beach
Oklahoma, Tulsa, United States: topless bikini bottom
Nordrhein-westfalen, Dortmund, Germany: NUDE BEACHES
Virginia, Martinsville, United States: beach nude
Michigan, Troy, United States: nude beach photos
Nord-pas-de-calais, Lille, France: men nude beach
New Jersey, Edison, United States: sexy beaches
California, Azusa, United States: nude beach
United Kingdom: topless first beach
Ile-de-france, Paris, France: nude beach
Colorado, Denver, United States: topless beaches
'amman, Amman, Jordan: nude beach pictures
Indonesia: beach nude photo
Ohio, Cleveland, United States: nude beach
Czech Republic: topless beach
Ohio, Cleveland, United States: nude beach
Washington, Seattle, United States: nude photo
Idaho, Boise, United States: female clevage
Massachusetts, Boston, United States: nude beach gay blogspot
Italy: topless
Quebec, Montreal, Canada: men topless
Maine, Yarmouth, United States: topless beaches
New Jersey, Bayonne, United States: topless
Ohio, Cleveland, United States: nude beach photos
California, Tehachapi, United States: nude beach photos
Maharashtra, Mumbai, India: nude beach
Hessen, Ruesselsheim, Germany: topless
Antwerpen, Antwerp, Belgium: beach topless
Italy: my nude
Italy: photo sexy beach
Nebraska, Omaha, United States: nude beaches
California, Tujunga, United States: point dume nude beach
California, Riverside, United States: nude beach
United States: nude beaches
Oregon, Portland, United States: nude beach
Oklahoma, Tulsa, United States: topless bikini
Dubai, Dubai, United Arab Emirates: beach topless
British Columbia, Victoria, Canada: nude beach photo
California, Los Angeles, United States: topless point dume
Dubai, Dubai, United Arab Emirates: nude beach
Gujarat, Surat, India: nude photo
District Of Columbia, Washington, United States: nude beaches
England, London, United Kingdom: beach nude picture
Delhi, New Delhi, India: topless beaches
England, London, United Kingdom: naturist beaches in france
Egypt: nude photo
Sardegna, Sassari, Italy: beach topless
District Of Columbia, Washington, United States: nude beach pictures
Gujarat, Ahmedabad, India: Nude beach pictures
Canterbury, Christchurch, New Zealand: Topless bathers pictures
California, Rancho Cucamonga, United States: nude beach
Alabama, Mobile, United States: men gay beach
Illinois, Aledo, United States: nude beach
New Jersey, Teterboro, United States: sexy beach
Serbia And Montenegro: nude beach
Italy: nude beach
New York, New York, United States: nude beach expat
Minnesota, Rochester, United States: nude beach
British Columbia, Victoria, Canada: nude beach
Akershus, Jessheim, Norway: nude walks
Indiana, Lafayette, United States: nude beach
Mississippi, Starkville, United States: nude beach
Morocco: nude
Uttar Pradesh, Lucknow, India: women in nude beach
Oslo, Oslo, Norway: nude beach
Georgia, Atlanta, United States: nude beach
Leningradskaya Oblast', Vyborg, Russian Federation: topless beach
Wisconsin, Madison, United States: nude photo blog
Utah, Salt Lake City, United States: sexy photo
England, London, United Kingdom: woods nude
Lombardia, Cremona, Italy: TOPLESS BEACH
Greece: nude beach
United States: nude beach
Istanbul, Istanbul, Turkey: beach topless pictures site
Ontario, Oakville, Canada: naked in cozumel
New York, Newburgh, United States: nude beaches
Idaho, Paul, United States: vacation topless "great time"
England, London, United Kingdom: brittany nude beaches
New Jersey, Bridgewater, United States: go topless
Spain: nude beach fun
New South Wales, Sydney, Australia: native topless
United Kingdom: erotic pictures
Maharashtra, Pune, India: topless bather
England, Stockport, United Kingdom: italy topless beach
United Arab Emirates: naked people
Maharashtra, Thane, India: nude sunbathing
Tokyo, Tokyo, Japan: aquitaine beach topless
Denmark: italy beach swimsuit topless
Ohio, Cincinnati, United States: SWISS NUDIST RESORTS
Ontario, Kitchener, Canada: sexy mormon women
Antwerpen, Antwerp, Belgium: TOPLESS BEACH GOERS
Australian Capital Territory, Canberra, Australia: guys bathers
Western Cape, Cape Town, South Africa: shy at topless beach stories
Kansas, Wichita, United States: first time nude beach
Oregon, Portland, United States: secluded topless beaches
Gauteng, Johannesburg, South Africa: topless bathers pics
Budapest, Budapest, Hungary: topless on the beach
England, Manchester, United Kingdom: friends bikini naked undressed beach people
Pennsylvania, West Chester, United States: going topless beach first time
United Kingdom: women sunbathing topless on the beach pics
Ohio, Chillicothe, United States: topless beaches switzerland
New York, New York, United States: we went to a topless beach
Northern Ireland, Belfast, United Kingdom: topless women on beach
Texas, Plano, United States: topless beach shy "first time"
Florida, Tarpon Springs, United States: foreign beaches nude vacation
Hawaii, Honolulu, United States: nude byu students pictures
New York, Great Neck, United States: nude leftist
Dubai, Dubai, United Arab Emirates: girls with nude attitude in beaches
Michigan, Detroit, United States: european topless beaches
Nebraska, Norfolk, United States: naked beach goers
Gibraltar: first time beach topless
Australia: europe nude beach
Kyonggi-do, Seoul, Korea, Republic Of: U.S.Nude Beaches
Massachusetts, Boston, United States: where can women go topless
Colorado, Aurora, United States: topless beaches vacations
England, Manchester, United Kingdom: topless beach
New Jersey, Livingston, United States: i went to a nude beach
Wien, Vienna, Austria: france south topless beach
California, Oceanside, United States: went to a nude beach
Wisconsin, Milwaukee, United States: topless beach bathers
Kansas, Olathe, United States: vacation nude beach first time story
Georgia, Norcross, United States: woman sunbathing nude
Poland: french nude beach
Ontario, Toronto, Canada: gay nude beaches italy
California, San Francisco, United States: topless france
Toscana, Florence, Italy: bare breasts beach top bikini topless
California, Los Angeles, United States: NUDE FRENCH BEACHES
Texas, Plano, United States: topless at the beach
England, Nottingham, United Kingdom: men watching woman on topless beach
Virginia, Wise, United States: mormon topless
Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh, United States: nude beaches
British Columbia, Surrey, Canada: topless beach pictures
Texas, San Antonio, United States: topless beach first time
South Carolina, Greenville, United States: german topless beaches
New Jersey, Clementon, United States: "topless beaches" italy
Canada: topless beach
Nebraska, Omaha, United States: orange beach naked
Gauteng, Johannesburg, South Africa: topless beach pics
Australian Capital Territory, Canberra, Australia: she went topless at the beach
Ha Noi, Hanoi, Viet Nam: a nude photo of myself
Colorado, Ft. Collins, United States: lets go topless
United States: skinny-dipping and nude sunbathing along the American River
New Zealand: rebecca loose beach nude photos
South Carolina, Sumter, United States: topless women on the beach
Georgia, Savannah, United States: topless beaches
California, La Quinta, United States: French topless bathers
British Columbia, Kelowna, Canada: Women on French Beaches
Michigan, Grand Rapids, United States: european nude beaches
Texas, Ft. Worth, United States: topless beaches
California, Long Beach, United States: photos of topless beaches europe
Ohio, Cincinnati, United States: naked people france
Coimbra, Coimbra, Portugal: brits topless
Arizona, Tucson, United States: topless seine
New York, Clifton Park, United States: topless beaches france
Ontario, Hamilton, Canada: topless beaches
Massachusetts, Boston, United States: first time topless beach
California, San Diego, United States: pretty nude beaches
Germany: topless beach
Maharashtra, Mumbai, India: topless beach culture
Delhi, Delhi, India: Germany topless beach
Tasmania, Devonport, Australia: topless bathers
Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh, United States: going topless at the beach
New York, Rego Park, United States: love nude beaches
New Jersey, Jersey City, United States: topless broad
British Columbia, Richmond, Canada: go naked beach photos
British Columbia, Surrey, Canada: partially nude photos taken on vacations with my wife
England, London, United Kingdom: camping france beach nude
Toscana, Florence, Italy: topless shy beach&hl
Florida, Englewood, United States: topless beach
New York, New Hyde Park, United States: going topless for husband
England, London, United Kingdom: first time topless
England, London, United Kingdom: nudist beaches s.w. france
New York, New York, United States: Go topless at the beach
Florida, Merritt Island, United States: topless beach stories
Manitoba, Brandon, Canada: nude beaches
Texas, Houston, United States: Orange Beach Topless
Switzerland: great topless bikini beach
Colorado, Colorado Springs, United States: see me topless
Texas, Texarkana, United States: nude ex-mormon
England, London, United Kingdom: topless english beach
Wellington, Wellington, New Zealand: topless on the beach
Ireland: nude beach france brittany
Idaho, Boise, United States: mormon nudes
Spain: blogspot beach nude
England, Manchester, United Kingdom: Mediterranean beach naked
Massachusetts, Boston, United States: first time on topless beach
New York, Rochester, United States: naked mormons
New York, Rochester, United States: europe sunbathe topless
New York, Bronx, United States: nude beaches
Florida, Inverness, United States: europe sunbathe topless
Iowa, Knoxville, United States: topless beach AND first time
Washington, Seattle, United States: french topless bathers
Nordrhein-westfalen, Dortmund, Germany: beach france nude
New Jersey, Denville, United States: european women sunbathe nude at beach
Ontario, Hamilton, Canada: nude beach fun
Portugal: topless at the beach
Bahamas: topless boats
New York, Bronx, United States: GAY NUDE HIKING BLOG
Germany: beach topless
Ile-de-france, Paris, France: beach women topless
Ontario, Toronto, Canada: naked beach bikini blogspot
Georgia, Atlanta, United States: topless stories beach
Washington, Snohomish, United States: europe beach topless
Nairobi Area, Nairobi, Kenya: Women topless dressing
California, Desert Hot Springs, United States: woman topless parade goers
New Jersey, Mt. Laurel, United States: Female topless cultures
Alberta, Edmonton, Canada: swiss naked people beach
Delhi, Delhi, India: topless females on beach
Ohio, Canton, United States: topless females on beaches
New York, Rochester, United States: first time topless beach
New Zealand: freckle face nudes
Maryland, Germantown, United States: topless surfing
Florida, Ft. Myers, United States: nudes, back view
India: Nude beaches
Hong Kong (sar), Hong Kong, Hong Kong: aquitaine beach nude
Ontario, Windsor, Canada: nude beaches thongs
Oklahoma, Tulsa, United States: italy topless beach pictures
Malta, Luqa, Malta: topless blogspot
Alabama, Birmingham, United States: nude people letters
England, London, United Kingdom: my first topless swim
Virginia, Richmond, United States: marseille beach topless
Qslo, Oslo, Norway: sunbathing nudes
Saskatchewan, Saskatoon, Canada: Nude Beaches
Nova Scotia, Halifax, Canada: real nude beach
New Jersey, Cherry Hill, United States: topless beach blog
Pennsylvania, Scranton, United States: first time topless beach
Nordrhein-westfalen, Dusseldorf, Germany: nude beach france aquitaine
Dubai, Dubai, United Arab Emirates: female beach valley ball
Brazil: TOPLES IM THE BEACH
Norway: topless woman on beach
Massachusetts, Hull, United States: topless beaches of france photos
Toscana, Florence, Italy: beach vacation topless husband bare breasts top bikini
England, London, United Kingdom: female first beach topless
Maharashtra, Mumbai, India: topless females on the beach
United States: topless mormon
Dublin, Dublin, Ireland: topless beach fun
Grad Zagreb, Zagreb, Croatia: erotica picture
New York, Brooklyn, United States: nude beach goers
Ile-de-france, Paris, France: why the French women are topless with the beach
Texas, Houston, United States: pictures of German women culture for them going topless
South Africa: almost nude beaches
Georgia, Atlanta, United States: straight guys on nude beach
Saudi Arabia: nude beach blogspot
New York, Syracuse, United States: family nude beaches
Utah, Orem, United States: naked mormon men
New Jersey, Livingston, United States: europe beach topless
Georgia, Norcross, United States: nude beach story
New York, New Hyde Park, United States: going topless on the beach
Ontario, Brampton, Canada: topless beach vacation
New York, West Point, United States: topless beach culture europe
Zuid-holland, The Hague, Netherlands: vacation topless
Missouri, Kansas City, United States: nudist resort OR beach "being naked"
District Of Columbia, Washington, United States: Do women go topless on French beaches
Australia: European women commonly go topless on beaches
Wisconsin, La Crosse, United States: naked people letters
One of the funniest things is how many people want to see naked people in other countries. Also, it's interesting how many people are interested in stories of people's first time at the nude beach, especially if they're shy about it. That's kind of a cute erotic fantasy. I should write a story about that -- I'm sure I could come up with something good...
Also, I love the way the one from Boise, Idaho specifies female clevage. Don't you just hate it when you do a blog search on clevage and it turns up pictures of some guy's butt clevage? lol!!! Precision, people!!! ;-)
This isn't nearly all of them either. My stats program doesn't send me the complete logs, so I had to copy/paste all of these by hand, and I missed a lot of them. As devoted as I am to anthropology, I actually got bored of copying these after a while...
Now I'm certain that every single one of these people clicked on my blog in hopes of finding a sexy picture of me. (Yes, I'm just that sexy!!! No, really!!! ;-) )
Unfortunately I don't have all that many, but I didn't want to disappoint you all, so I dug through my files and found this picture of me at the pool:
See that bikini clad blonde with the fabulous tan up on the platform?
That's not me. I'm the pasty-white lady in the foreground holding a toddler...
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